The Babe Who Cried Wolf (or just plain cried)

Once upon a time, there was a little baby girl named Gwen.  She would cry day and night.  If she bumped her head, she cried.  If she was hungry, she cried.  If she had a dirty diaper, she cried.  And these reasons for crying were all well and good.  But sometimes she would cry for lesser reasons.  In fact, she would cry about things that were not worthy of being cried over.  She would cry if she wanted to play in the refrigerator and mommy closed the refrigerator door.  She would cry if her poodle licked her in the face, even if it had made her laugh just seconds before.  She would cry if her mommy set her down so she could use the bathroom.  She would cry all of the time.  And little Gwen wanted to make sure that all the people around her knew just how upset she was.  So she would cry loudly.  And she would cry long.  Tears would stream down her face.  And she would get laryngitis.  She was driving her mommy crazy.

Gwen's mommy had taken her to see the doctor many times.  She would have felt absolutely awful if Gwen's crying were due to an unnoticed sickness, so on days where Gwen seemed especially crabby, mommy would call up the doctor for a sick appointment.  The doctor started to think Gwen's mom was absolutely crazy.  Gwen's mommy even took her to the urgent care twice because she was worried about undiagnosed ear infections and UTIs.  But the tests always came back negative and Gwen and her mommy were always sent home with the same message: "Sometimes babies are just extra cranky."  And boy, was Gwen cranky.

Right before Gwen got her first tooth, Gwen's mommy took her to the doctor again.  She was pretty sure that this was teething crankiness, but the only way to be sure was with a trip to the pediatrician.  The doctor did a full examination to discover that there was absolutely nothing wrong with little Gwen. She didn't even have any teeth that were ready to pop through.  9 days later, however, she did get her first tooth, so her mommy gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Over the next 7 days she stayed as cranky and irritable as ever.  She woke her mommy up at least 5 times a night and woke her up to start the day at 4:30 every day.  Gwen's mommy was used to this behavior, however, and took things in stride.  But then Gwen had her regular check-up at the doctor's office.  When the doctor looked in her ear she said, "Oh!  She has an ear infection!  Has she been pulling on her ears or crankier than usual?"  The answer was no.  She had been her usual level of crankiness.

So what is the moral of the story?  If you are always cranky and show no other symptoms of illness, mommy has no way to know if you are sick.

Sleeping With The Enemy

Okay, so Gwen is not exactly my enemy.  But she is an enemy to sleep.  I don't know why she hates sleep so much.  She tends to be a much happier baby when she gets adequate sleep.  But she fights it with all her might.

An example: She was sick on Saturday night.  She rolled back and forth crying almost the entire night.  I gave her Tylenol because she had a fever, and we were able to grab a few hours of sleep.  But most of the night was spent in misery.  But on Sunday something magical happened.  First, Gwen took a 3 hour nap.  Then, later in the day, Gwen took a 2 hour nap.  That's 5 hours of naps (Note: it's not as simple as it sounds.  The only way she was willing to nap was if I laid down with her and fed her every 45 minutes while she slept; otherwise she would only sleep about 30-45 minutes total and would wake up from her nap a little monster).  It was amazing.  But she didn't wake up from her last nap until 5:30 and she generally melts down if we try to put her to bed 1 minute past 7.  So I had planned on putting her to bed at her normal bedtime (she has, in the past, woken up from her second nap at 6 and gone to bed at 7).  But she seemed happy, and she wasn't rubbing her eyes, so I thought I would just wait it out.  She didn't start giving tired signals until 7:30 and didn't fall asleep until 8.  I was hoping this would translate into a wake-up time of 5:30 or 6, since she had gone to sleep an hour later (normal wake-up is at about 4:30), but she woke up at 5.  After about 40 minutes of continual nursing and laying her back down every time she tried to stand up I got her to go back to sleep...for 35 minutes.  Not exactly a victory.  3 hours later she took an hour and fifteen minute nap.  I thought I would try for nap 2 at 3pm, but she wasn't tired yet.  I knew she needed another nap if she was going to make it until 8 pm again, but I don't think she had any intention of making it until 8.  At 5pm she decided it was time for what I thought was nap number 2.  But, alas, it was not.  Apparently Gwen was under the impression that she was going to bed for the night.  She is only 10 months old but is determined to drop her second nap and to only take 1 nap a day.  Most babies don't do this until about 15 months.  I think she just wants to knock her sleep out in as few sittings as possible.  I thought she was taking her second nap, so after 2 hours I woke her up.  It was 7pm.  She screamed the rest of the evening until I put her in bed at 8:30.  And then she was awake at 5:00.  And then she spent the entire morning in a horrible mood.  So maybe I should have let her sleep straight through from 5 pm.  My only fear is that our new wake-up time will be 2am instead of 4:30, but if she tries that tonight I am going to risk it because it can't go much worse than it did this morning (and Keith will be home from his conference tonight and has agreed to wake up when she does tomorrow, so I get to sleep in anyway).

All this to say, I'm tired.  So if I drop the ball on something, please forgive me.  If I seem cranky or cynical or like I am complaining quite a bit in this little online world or in person, I probably am.  I know that all babies are enemies of sleep (with a few notable exceptions, and if you have been blessed with one of those exceptions be thankful, but understand that while I am happy for you I am also secretly a little jealous), and I don't want to diminish anyone else's experience (I am aware that I have a healthy baby and some people don't, and for her health I am thankful, and that is not what I am talking about here).  But, from what I understand, Gwen is a baby in her own stratosphere.  My mother-in-law, a former pediatric nurse, told me she has never met such a cranky baby who hates sleep quite this much.  I'm glad that I get this feedback from time to time because, Gwen being our first, we don't know if this is what people meant when they said, "babies are hard," or if Gwen really is harder than most babies. Because if all babies are this hard, maybe we don't want to have any more (maybe this is Gwen's master plan to be an only child so she never has to share her toys or her ice cream).

I will close with a recent conversation that we had with a soon-to-be father.  People were telling him what to expect when the baby was born.  As we had the youngest baby of anyone at the table, naturally, he turned to us for the most recent experience with an infant.  We told him about Gwen's sleep and crying habits, and he appeared to pale and break out in a cold sweat.  Keith backtracked, so as not to panic the father-to-be, and said, "But don't worry too much.  Gwen is pretty much the worst example of a baby, ever."  That seemed to make him feel better.  And while I wish she were easier, we manage.  I think any parent rises to whatever challenges their baby presents them.

TV for Toddlers: To Watch or Not To Watch

If you have been following my blog for a long time, you might remember during my pregnancy that I wrote a post questioning if we would watch TV in our household after our baby was born.  I didn't want to expose Gwen to the constantly degrading quality of television that is being broadcast.  I seem, however, to have changed my tune in the last couple of months.  No - I don't want her to watch questionable television, but I no longer have a problem with her watching television.

Gwen is horrendously difficult to entertain.  I have had several people tell me that she requires much more attention and entertainment than most babies.  She is unhappy playing by herself unless you are watching her play by herself.  Usually she won't play by herself at all.  So it created problems in the mornings when I would have to do things like take Simba out so he could pee.  While I will usually put Gwen before Simba, I think it is cruel to refuse him the chance to pee.  Here's how our mornings would go.  Gwen would wake up entirely too early.  I would get up and change her diaper.  I would take her with me and set her on the floor of the bathroom to play while I peed.  Then we would go downstairs.  I would put her in the middle of the living room surrounded by dozens of toys.  I would take Simba outside.  Gwen would hold onto the child gate that blocks her from the foyer, screaming at the top of her lungs for the entire duration of Simba's potty break.  Gwen would be emotionally destroyed for the rest of the morning.

This repeated daily until a new friend told us about the show Yo Gabba Gabba.  Frankly, I have a love-hate relationship with Yo Gabba Gabba.  It looks like the writers take a hit of acid (do you take acid in hits?  I don't really know drug lingo) before each writing session.  But I love it for it's magical ability to entertain Gwen.  I now place her in the living room in the morning and turn on an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba.  As soon as the music starts, she is mesmerized.  I take Simba out without incident, and we all have a much happier morning.

I have tried showing Gwen other kids' TV shows, and they apparently all pale in comparison to Yo Gabba Gabba (of course, I think anything would pale in comparison to Yo Gabba Gabba).  I don't know what magical combination they have created in this show, but it keeps her happy so it keeps me happy.

I was talking to several moms at a play date on Thursday.  They all willingly use their TVs as babysitters, albeit in small quantities.  One mom said, "I know the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends against kids watching any TV, but that's not really realistic for us."  Most of these moms would put their babies in front of the TV for one episode in order to be able to cook dinner during a normal melt down time of day.  It was their saving grace during a usually volatile time.  And this got me thinking that TV isn't necessarily a bad thing.

I'm not under the delusion that Gwen will watch these TV shows and be smarter for it.  I have seen the articles about how babies who watch Baby Einstein DVDs are behind their peers who watch no TV.  I don't expect her to learn from TV.  I expect her to be entertained so I can get a few things done without a baby holding onto my pant leg and crying.  Because let's face it - constant learning all day long is not everything.  I think that Gwen and I both will be better served with her taking 23 minutes hanging out with DJ Lance Rock (the host of Yo Gabba Gabba) so I can prepare a meal that will fill our bellies with healthy food rather than processed junk than we would be if I spent that time sitting with her and her shape sorter naming colors and shapes.

So I'm going to stop putting so much pressure on myself to try to teach her all the time.  Sometimes we will be tired, and then it is okay to rest even in front of the TV.  And sometimes it is okay to just play and be entertained with no ulterior educational motive.

When the Poop Hits the Fan (or Exits the Diaper)

We had quite the day today.  It all started when Gwen woke up at 4:30.  I thought this was entirely too early.  She thought it was just right.  She won.  So a groggy mommy, and a happy, babbling baby got up and went downstairs.  I should have known that the early wake-up was a sign of things to come.

I figured I should at least make my morning productive, so I found the Little Green Machine furniture and carpet cleaner and went to work at removing several food finger prints that Gwen has worked on depositing over the last several weeks.  Sara and Jason - thank you for having the foresight to buy us a Little Green Machine.  Our furniture thanks you, as we did not have the foresight to scotch guard.

I was not going to let our early wake-up get me down.  I took a nap with Gwen, and then I decided I was going to dress her in an adorable outfit.  I put her in a onesie that has a ghost on the front and says, "It's not easy being this..." on the front and "boo-ty-ful" on the bottom.  I put her in purple and green striped halloween shorts to complete the ensemble - I didn't want to put pants on her and ruin the punch line of her onesie.  I felt pretty confident that she was going to be one of the best dressed babies at story hour at the library.

Gwen was super fussy, so I figured we would go to the library 30 minutes early and wander the stacks until it was time for Book Babies.  On the way to the library she was screaming (when we got to the library, I discovered that the tooth that has been on the verge of emerging victoriously from her gums since Sunday had finally popped through).

When we got to the library I figured I should check her diaper - she has had quite the habit lately of pooping every time we get into the car.  I did a quick sniff of her bottom, didn't smell anything, and slipped Gwen between the baby sling and my body when...squish!  I felt something warm and wet against the front of my body.

I asked the librarian for the closest bathroom and discovered there was no changing table.  I was not going to change her on the bathroom floor, so I decided, since there was no changing table, that it was socially acceptable to change her diaper just outside of the bathroom door in the stacks.  It wasn't a busy part of the library, so I figured I would disturb anyone.

Gwen, however, has developed a nasty habit recently of screaming every time I change her diaper.  I set her down on the changing pad, and not wanting to disappoint, she started screaming immediately.  I assessed the damage of her diaper blow-out and realized it has squished through her tights and onto her onesie.  I stripped off her tights and realized things were much worse than I had originally thought and that the poop had traveled out of her diaper and had been contained by her tights and gone down her legs.  We were in the stacks and she was screaming and covered in poop.

After about 5 minutes I had managed to clean up all of the poo, put a new diaper on her, and dress her in her emergency clothes.  Unfortunately, when she got bigger, I didn't swap out her emergency clothes and her pants only went halfway up her bottom.  But she was clean and clothed and I was happy.  I packed up her diaper bag, removed a book from her mouth that she had obtained while I was packing her diaper bag and went into the bathroom to wash my hands when...

...I looked in the mirror and discovered I had poop juice down the front of my shirt (poop juice is the non-solid poop that leaks out of diaper and onto onesies, thus leaving stains that can last forever).  Apparently it had transferred to me when I was carrying her into the library.  After all of this, I was going to have to go home.  No!!!  I had come to far!!!  I came up with a plan.  I turned my t-shirt around backwards (the front and the back were, thankfully, the same) and put a cardigan on over my t-shirt (I did all of this change one-armed since I was holding Gwen with my other arm).  Poop covered, check.

We went to Book Babies, and after all of my desperate attempts to get her there for a fun hour, she fussed and squirmed to escape from my grasp and had almost no fun, for I was too worried that I would have to retrieve her, my cardigan would ride up, and the jig would be up.

Meeting Milestones

I think that Gwen is the most fun she has ever been.  She is 9 months old and she can do so much now!  Here are some of her newly acquired skills:

1. Knows where mommy's nose is located: She is not a conventional baby, however.  I say, "Where's mommy's nose?" and she does one of two things.  She either slaps me in the nose or (her preferred method) she bites me on the nose.  Thankfully she doesn't have teeth.  I sadly have only encouraged this behavior because I laugh every time she does it (she giggles like a crazy person).  I may not be laughing when her teeth finally come through though.

2. Says "Mama" and knows who that is: She knows her first word!!!!  And it's mama!!!!  Unfortunately, she usually only says it when she is sad or angry.  But she says it to me because she wants me.  For a while she just made the sound, but now she says it because she knows that it is me and that I will come to her if she says it.

3. Walks with a walker and tries to stand: Gwen got her first taste of walking freedom on Friday night.  She had been forced to only walk along furniture and walls for far too long.  I bought her a walker (Keith looked at it and said, "This literally looks like a walker that a grandma would use." http://www.amazon.com/VTech-80-077000-Vtech-Sit-to-Stand-Learning/dp/B000NZQ010/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1349135212&sr=1-1&keywords=walker), she took off across the open floor and never looked back.  She loved it!  And within an hour she was attempting to let go of the furniture and stand on her own.

4. Feeding mommy: I guess she wants to feed mommy in the same way that mommy has been feeding her.  She hasn't been interested in eating solids since she started teething.  The only way that I have been able to get her to eat anything (other than breastmilk) is by putting the food directly in her mouth (if I put it in her hand she throws it on the floor to the dog).  She has been handing me her toys lately, with the understanding that I will immediately hand the toy back to her, at which point she will decide if she wants to hand the toy back to me or keep it for herself.  But the last couple of nights, I have handed her pieces of food and she has reached up and put them into my mouth.  She seems super proud of herself when she feeds me.

5. Sharing toys with Simba: In the same way she has been handing me things, she has started handing her toys to Simba, probably in hopes that he will play with her.  Sadly, he either ignores her, or takes the toy, and, unlike mommy, does not give the toy back, but rather carries it out through his doggy door to the three season room that is his refuge.  I watched her drop a shaker egg in front of him about 15 or 20 times yesterday, trying to get him to pick it up.

6. Initiates Peek-A-Boo: Gwen loves Peek-A-Boo.  If you are a stranger and she doesn't like you, all you have to do to get on her good side is play a lively game of peek-a-boo.  It is a mind-numbingly boring game, but she loves it so very much.  At least the game is entertaining to me when she starts giggling.  I used to have to do all of the hiding in peek-a-boo.  I would either cover my face, or hide around a corner or behind a shower curtain, and Gwen would come find me.  Now she grabs a blanket and holds it over her own face to start up a round of peek-a-boo.  I'm surprised to discover she has a good deal of patience when covering her face.  She will hide behind the blanket for 2-3 seconds before uncovering it.  I don't even have that much patience for hiding.

7. Signs:  I have been working on baby signs with Gwen, on and off, since she was about 4 or 5 months old.  I forget sometimes that I am supposed to be teaching her sign language, so it has been kind of inconsistent.  But she learned the sign for "more."  Well, kind of.  I think she thinks it means "want."  She does it now when she wants to be breastfed.  I guess it makes sense since that is her favorite thing.

8. Tongue clicking and raspberries: If you do a raspberry or a tongue click, she will do the same.  I switch back and forth between the two and she follows right along!

So she is growing leaps and bounds.  It is so much fun to watch.