I have what I will refer to as a cranky immune system. It's never really worked correctly. Some people have a theory that if you don't get sick enough as a child then your immune system will focus its efforts on benign substances like pollen. This leads to asthma and allergies. I have been taking medication for my asthma since I was a toddler. It manifests itself both as exercise induced and allergic asthma. Certain types of exercise don't bother me. I can do five hours on an eliptical and be completely fine (aside from the muscle fatigue). But if I try to run a quarter of a mile I can feel all of the tubes in my lungs starting to get narrower and narrower. This isn't to say that I don't go for runs. It is just really difficult and I need to have my inhaler with me at all times.
As for the allergies, I sometimes feel like I am allergic to everything. I am fortunate in that I do not have any food allergies, which can be some of the most restrictive and dangerous allergies, but each and every spring I feel like I have been punched in the face by all of the flowers. They gaze at me with their little, happy, pollen-filled faces and laugh as I sneeze. While I dislike the "hay fever" that I have to suffer through yearly, it is nothing in comparison to my allergy to animals. I have been allergic to dogs and cats my entire life. For much of my childhood, I could be around dogs, we just couldn't have one (other than hypoallergenic breeds) in our house. Since childhood, however, I have become more allergic to dogs and have symptoms around all breeds of dogs except for toy poodles. Cats were another story. I was so allergic that I never touched a cat until I was dissecting one in my anatomy class in college. My animal allergies pretty much extend to any animal with fur or dander. I tried petting horses at the fair one time when I was in high school and my eyes almost completely swelled shut before I could drive myself home.
But these are not my only immune system problems. I also have something called psoriasis in which my skin cells don't know when to stop growing after I get a cut. They grow and they grow and they grow until they create too many layers of skin. This doesn't happen every time I get a cut, but it happens in zones of skin (right now on my right forearm) until I can use steroid creams or foams to get it to go away (steroids pretty much act to beat down your immune system - when you are suffering from an overactive immune system, steroids can bring things back into balance).
Pregnancy, however, has brought me to a whole new level of immune dysfunction. Pregnancy does some funky things to your immune system. Some of these changes are for important reasons, and some are just because you have crazy hormones zooming around your body that throw the natural balance off. The first problem that I noticed was when the hubs and I were visiting some family. I decided that I wanted to play with they hypoallergenic puppy that one of my husband's family members owned, but after about 30 minutes of being around the puppy, with only about 5 minutes of direct contact with the puppy, I was wheezing, my nose was running and my eyes were watering. Finally I decided to pop a couple of benadryl and I spent the next 3 hours sleeping. I visited my mom a couple of weeks later. She still owns one of the dogs that I grew up with (he is 14 years old and blind, but still gets joy out of his daily hamburger patty). I was never allergic to this dog growing up, but when I went away to college and started visiting home over breaks I realized that I would get sniffly when I got home. Then I went away to graduate school, visited less often, and became severely allergic to her dog. Finally, about a year ago, the hubs and I had to make a decision that we could no longer stay at my mom's house overnight because, without taking my inhaler every few hours, I would wake up unable to breathe by morning. We still visit during the day, after heavy antihistamine administration. However, when we visited a few weeks ago the antihistamines were not working. Then the hubs and I went home, I used my inhaler and more antihistamines, and my symptoms still didn't go away. I took a shower and went to bed, and I was struggling to breathe. I finally was at the point where I thought I would have to go to the emergency room (the day after we visited my mom was a Sunday), but I didn't want to pay the $75 co-pay so I decided I would tough it out for one more night with a coca-cola (caffeine can cause bronchodialation) and sleeping sitting up. Thankfully after the second night of sleep I was breathing much better and the pharmacy was open so I could get a new inhaler.
At least with the asthma and allergies, however, there are medications that are safe to use during pregnancy. That is not the case with psoriasis. In fact, there aren't a ton of reliable medications for psoriasis that can be used even if you aren't pregnant. Topical steroids can be harmful to the fetus, especially during the first trimester. So I just have to watch daily as my skin gets worse and worse.
At least this is all for a greater good. I remind myself of that every time I have to skip a meal because I feel to sick to eat, cannot take an ibuprofen even though I am in pain, or when I notice a new little cut that is going to be sticking around with me for the next 7 months.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Sara Van Winkle
My sleep patterns have vastly changed over the past few years. When I was in college I would generally fall asleep at around 2:00 am and then would set my alarm clock for 6:30 am. I knew that if I got to the coffee shop before 7:00 that I would be there by myself for a good 45 minutes before the rest of the college began passing through for their 7:50 classes. That was 45 minutes of uninterrupted study time. Thankfully, as I said before, that study time was in the coffee shop. This meant that I could sip on a coffee or latte with only a small risk of falling asleep over my books (I did take many-a-nap in the coffee shop however - both intentional and unintentional. It is a wonder what a 12 minute power nap can do for you).
When I reached graduate school I lost my magical ability to be able to study at all hours of the day and night. One time while I was in college, I went on a trip just before Thanksgiving break to Chicago, spending very little time studying for the test I had the day after I got back. Not only that, but when I got back from Chicago at dinner time, I went straight to a bridal shower for my roommate that didn't end until late evening. At that point, I had to learn several chapters of Biochemistry including all of the structures and steps of glycolysis and the Krebs cycle before morning. I set myself up in a study room with a white board and set to writing the structures down over and over until I finally learned them all, finally going to bed at about 4 or 5 in the morning (no matter how great my magical power for study was, I still needed 2 or 3 hours of sleep to let all of the information sink in - I never once pulled an all-nighter). Once I got to graduate school, however, I realized that I couldn't study after 10:00 pm! I could still stay up late, no problem, but once the clock struck 10 my little studying brain cells shut themselves off and said, "Go watch a movie, call the boyfriend (the previous name of the hubs), or go to bed."
I left my first graduate program (well, technically my second program, but since I quit Medical school so quickly after starting that one doesn't really count) the same summer that I married the hubs. He was just starting his third year of medical school and I was transitioning from a graduate program in biomedical sciences to one in medical dietetics. It was that summer that I broke my brain even more. I am mostly a night owl. I once read a journal article from Nature that explained that people are hard wired to be either "Night Owls" or "Morning Larks" and that by forcing yourself into being the opposite you can seriously damage your health. This night owl, for the sake of love, decided to try to match the hubs' sleep patterns, since we had been married for less than a month, and become a morning lark. I had the summer off of school, so I had no real reason for being awake or asleep at any given time. My day consisted of steaming ugly wall paper off of the walls of my new home and then painting those walls. Given the ability of man to harness electricity and the invention of the light bulb, I was essentially able to do these tasks at any time. The hubs did not have the same flexibility in his schedule. He was doing his OB/Gyn rotation, which for those who don't know is a surgical rotation. Not only is it a surgical rotation, but the med students have to get in before the attendings and the residents because they have to look up all of the information for their patients and then present that information to those who have already earned the "M.D." This meant the alarm clock was generally set for sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 am and that we would go to sleep at around 7:30 to 8:00 pm. This is a prime morning lark schedule and was not agreeing well with this night owl. However, after the surgical rotation was over and we were once again able to sleep in to a more normal time (5:30 to 6:00 am) I still felt a need to go to sleep between 8:00 and 10:00 pm.
I maintained my approximately 9:00 pm bedtime throughout the last year while I was completing my internship. This worked out well because I would often wake up at about 6:00 am which provided me my perfect 9 hours of sleep each night (my need for sleep doubled in the 4 years since I graduated from college). This worked well until about 8 or 9 weeks ago. Pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks and, for the most part, I lost my ability to make it through an entire day without taking a nap. This nap can last anywhere from 1-4 hours. Yet, surprisingly, even during a day in which I have taken a 4 hour nap, I am still able to fall asleep anywhere when bed time comes along. Then, when I sleep through the night I usually aim for 9-10 hours. This didn't seem unreasonable until I realized that I am sleeping greater than 50% of the day every third or fourth day. On Sunday night I fell asleep at 8:00 pm and woke up the next morning at 9:00 am. Then I sat down a few hours later to watch a movie with the hubs and I only made it halfway through the movie before drifting off into a peaceful nap. Apparently, even though my baby doesn't want me to eat for two, it does want me to sleep for two. I guess I should be thankful and embrace this now since it won't last after the baby is on the outside.
When I reached graduate school I lost my magical ability to be able to study at all hours of the day and night. One time while I was in college, I went on a trip just before Thanksgiving break to Chicago, spending very little time studying for the test I had the day after I got back. Not only that, but when I got back from Chicago at dinner time, I went straight to a bridal shower for my roommate that didn't end until late evening. At that point, I had to learn several chapters of Biochemistry including all of the structures and steps of glycolysis and the Krebs cycle before morning. I set myself up in a study room with a white board and set to writing the structures down over and over until I finally learned them all, finally going to bed at about 4 or 5 in the morning (no matter how great my magical power for study was, I still needed 2 or 3 hours of sleep to let all of the information sink in - I never once pulled an all-nighter). Once I got to graduate school, however, I realized that I couldn't study after 10:00 pm! I could still stay up late, no problem, but once the clock struck 10 my little studying brain cells shut themselves off and said, "Go watch a movie, call the boyfriend (the previous name of the hubs), or go to bed."
I left my first graduate program (well, technically my second program, but since I quit Medical school so quickly after starting that one doesn't really count) the same summer that I married the hubs. He was just starting his third year of medical school and I was transitioning from a graduate program in biomedical sciences to one in medical dietetics. It was that summer that I broke my brain even more. I am mostly a night owl. I once read a journal article from Nature that explained that people are hard wired to be either "Night Owls" or "Morning Larks" and that by forcing yourself into being the opposite you can seriously damage your health. This night owl, for the sake of love, decided to try to match the hubs' sleep patterns, since we had been married for less than a month, and become a morning lark. I had the summer off of school, so I had no real reason for being awake or asleep at any given time. My day consisted of steaming ugly wall paper off of the walls of my new home and then painting those walls. Given the ability of man to harness electricity and the invention of the light bulb, I was essentially able to do these tasks at any time. The hubs did not have the same flexibility in his schedule. He was doing his OB/Gyn rotation, which for those who don't know is a surgical rotation. Not only is it a surgical rotation, but the med students have to get in before the attendings and the residents because they have to look up all of the information for their patients and then present that information to those who have already earned the "M.D." This meant the alarm clock was generally set for sometime between 3:30 and 4:00 am and that we would go to sleep at around 7:30 to 8:00 pm. This is a prime morning lark schedule and was not agreeing well with this night owl. However, after the surgical rotation was over and we were once again able to sleep in to a more normal time (5:30 to 6:00 am) I still felt a need to go to sleep between 8:00 and 10:00 pm.
I maintained my approximately 9:00 pm bedtime throughout the last year while I was completing my internship. This worked out well because I would often wake up at about 6:00 am which provided me my perfect 9 hours of sleep each night (my need for sleep doubled in the 4 years since I graduated from college). This worked well until about 8 or 9 weeks ago. Pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks and, for the most part, I lost my ability to make it through an entire day without taking a nap. This nap can last anywhere from 1-4 hours. Yet, surprisingly, even during a day in which I have taken a 4 hour nap, I am still able to fall asleep anywhere when bed time comes along. Then, when I sleep through the night I usually aim for 9-10 hours. This didn't seem unreasonable until I realized that I am sleeping greater than 50% of the day every third or fourth day. On Sunday night I fell asleep at 8:00 pm and woke up the next morning at 9:00 am. Then I sat down a few hours later to watch a movie with the hubs and I only made it halfway through the movie before drifting off into a peaceful nap. Apparently, even though my baby doesn't want me to eat for two, it does want me to sleep for two. I guess I should be thankful and embrace this now since it won't last after the baby is on the outside.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Baby bliss
I am pregnant/preggers/prego. I have a bun in the oven. I am in the family way. I am with child. I am on stork watch. I am going to have a baby. Yes, the hubs and I are expecting. Today I am 11 weeks pregnant and my due date is December 27.
One pregnancy symptom that I was not ready for was the vivid dreams. Last night I dreamt that I was unable to regain all the weight that I have lost in this first trimester (I am down 6 pounds right now). I was 40 weeks pregnant, went in to give birth and they told me that I had only regained 4 of the 6 pounds. Because of this, my 40 week gestation resulted in a 24 week fetus and they told me that I had to keep the baby in for another 16 weeks. I kept on saying "But the placenta!" (For those of you who don't know, the placenta starts to degrade at about 42 weeks - this is why they go ahead and deliver the baby by c-section or induction if you haven't given birth by that point. Scientific facts tend to invade my dreams.)
Another dream that I had recently has to do with my old job. I was a research assistant and I performed postmortem dissections on mice to harvest parts for experiments. I dreamt that I had dissected about 25 mice, and then I realized that I had done all of the dissections on fully conscious, live mice. I woke up from that dream in a cold sweat.
These dreams at least had to do with things pertinent to my life. I had worked in a mouse lab, and I am a little bit worried about my weight loss in pregnancy from morning sickness. I have been having other dreams that make absolutely no sense. Two nights ago I dreamt that I was being held hostage by a group that was making me work but was trying to make me think I was there of my own free will. At one point, John MacClane tried to save me (if you don't know who this is, go watch Die Hard...any version will do but my favorite is the original) in a daring car chase, but to no avail. Finally, I worked with the entire cast of Grey's Anatomy to solve puzzles to win my freedom, eventually discovering that all I had to do was leave through the emergency exit door. My dream then transitioned into getting ready for elementary school gym class. I got in trouble for taking too long to change into my gym clothes, but the reason I took so long was because I needed to eat two pieces of flat bread (I have been having bread cravings, both while awake and apparently while asleep).
The other symptoms I was ready for. I know that pregnant women get nausea, but I never realized that it would incapacitate me. Thankfully, from what I've been told over and over again by reassuring friends and family, my morning sickness should go away in another 2 weeks. At this rate, I should lose no more than 2 more pounds and, from what I've been told again and again, I will have no problem regaining the weight and then some. I think what has horrified me most about the whole nausea thing is that I am a dietetics student. I know how to eat healthy. I strive to eat healthy. You will never find a refined grain in my home...at least until I was 5 weeks pregnant. At that point, any healthy food began looking disgusting to me. I couldn't eat fruits. I couldn't eat vegetables. I couldn't eat whole grains. I could, however, eat pop tarts, wonder bread and kraft macaroni and cheese. In fact, these were things that I could pretty reliably eat every day. The next hit to my health conscious diet came when I realized that I was producing excessive saliva (yes, that does happen to some people during pregnancy - it's called Ptyalism). This wouldn't normally trouble me, but excessive saliva production on top of excessive nausea and excessive heart burn caused my stomach to turn every time I thought about drinking water. I tried and I tried, but no matter what I did I couldn't get down more than about 4 cups of water a day (with the goal during pregnancy of being 8-10). Finally, I found a solution: Fruit Punch Gatorade. I would show up to class surrounded by my med diet classmates who were none the wiser to my pregnancy and would pull out my fruit punch gatorade and my brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts. Did I look like the nutrition poster child, or what? Thankfully, this bizarre diet is turning around somewhat. I am still having trouble with fresh fruits and vegetables, but I am once again able to drink water and to attempt foods other than pop tarts. The doctor did give me a prescription for an anti-nausea medication to get me through the tough times as well. They warned me when I started it that a major side effect was constipation and that I should take a stool softener. I thought, "I don't think that will be a problem. I think I'll just wait to see if I need one." To avoid going into too much detail, I think I will listen to my doctor from now on during pregnancy.
My other biggest bother is that I can smell EVERYTHING. This can be kind of nice when someone is baking fresh bread, but it is more or less a nuisance in every other situation. Example 1: Simba, the poodle. I love Simba. He is a fabulous little dog and I am thankful every day that we have him. That is, unless he sits on my lap. Then I have the overwhelming smell of ear wax filling my nares. Thankfully, Simba is a tolerant little dog and the hubs is good with a Q-tip. Simba has also been receiving weekly baths in order to remain tolerable. Example 2: The pantry. I am not sure what it is, but I cannot stand opening our pantry right now. I don't really have aversions to foods based on smell - I can smell most any food and be fine - my aversions are based on simply thinking about eating a food and either producing excessive saliva or wanting to toss my cookies. This is why I don't understand the pantry problem. I have asked the hubs several times to smell the pantry and he cannot detect whatever minute signal I am picking up. I was tempted one day last week to go through the entire pantry to find the offending item. Unfortunately this would mean that I would have to spend time in the pantry which is something that I am unwilling to do at this time. Example 3: The house. Our house smells bad. This is something that I never noticed before. We keep it really clean in here, but if the windows are kept closed for greater than 24 hours I find the smell unbearable. I tried burning candles, but I don't like the smell of candles right now. I finally dug out an old bottle of febreeze. It made the house smell much better, but this bottle must have been pretty old because there was a ring around the inside of the bottle where the liquid had been sitting at the same level for quite sometime and there were some things floating in it. I felt that for the sake of our health I probably shouldn't spray febreeze in the house when it has things floating in it. Example 4: Dryer sheets. These are the worst smelling item in the world. I don't know who came up with the description "fresh breeze" but this is inaccurate. The hubs was trying to be nice and washed several of our living room blankets, wanting to make them clean and fresh smelling for me. Unfortunately, after one whiff I discarded all clean blankets and receded to the refuge of my one dirty, unblemished blanket. Finally, yesterday, I decided, mournfully, that my dirty blanket needed to be made clean again. I reluctantly gave over my blanket to be washed with a "scent free" dryer sheet. In the mean time, however, I became cold. I tried to put on the blankets that the hubs washed so valiantly one month ago but realized that there was still a lingering scent of "fresh breeze." Thankfully, my allergies are set off so I was unable to smell the blankets well and was soon able to transition back to the "scent free" blanket.
While this pregnancy has been anything but smooth sailing, the hubs has been extra great. I have been essentially useless (actually, more like a liability than useless - useless implies that you simply are not making things better...I am making things worse many days by saying thing like, "I think I may be hungry, will you make me food?" and when he says, "Sure, what do you want?" I say, "I don't know" and make him list off all of the food that we have in the house. Then he makes an item for me after revisiting the entire list three times, then I leave dirty dishes for him to clean. Then I say that I have a tummy ache and I ask him to just sit with me until it goes away and to scratch my head to make me feel better). He has taken over the majority of the housework and has been willing to provide for all of my needs and most of my wants on days during which I have been unable to meet my basic needs on my own. I don't know how I would do any of this without him and I love him very much. I especially appreciate all of the grocery runs that the hubs has been willing to make when I can't imagine eating anything but a cheese pizza hot pocket.
One pregnancy symptom that I was not ready for was the vivid dreams. Last night I dreamt that I was unable to regain all the weight that I have lost in this first trimester (I am down 6 pounds right now). I was 40 weeks pregnant, went in to give birth and they told me that I had only regained 4 of the 6 pounds. Because of this, my 40 week gestation resulted in a 24 week fetus and they told me that I had to keep the baby in for another 16 weeks. I kept on saying "But the placenta!" (For those of you who don't know, the placenta starts to degrade at about 42 weeks - this is why they go ahead and deliver the baby by c-section or induction if you haven't given birth by that point. Scientific facts tend to invade my dreams.)
Another dream that I had recently has to do with my old job. I was a research assistant and I performed postmortem dissections on mice to harvest parts for experiments. I dreamt that I had dissected about 25 mice, and then I realized that I had done all of the dissections on fully conscious, live mice. I woke up from that dream in a cold sweat.
These dreams at least had to do with things pertinent to my life. I had worked in a mouse lab, and I am a little bit worried about my weight loss in pregnancy from morning sickness. I have been having other dreams that make absolutely no sense. Two nights ago I dreamt that I was being held hostage by a group that was making me work but was trying to make me think I was there of my own free will. At one point, John MacClane tried to save me (if you don't know who this is, go watch Die Hard...any version will do but my favorite is the original) in a daring car chase, but to no avail. Finally, I worked with the entire cast of Grey's Anatomy to solve puzzles to win my freedom, eventually discovering that all I had to do was leave through the emergency exit door. My dream then transitioned into getting ready for elementary school gym class. I got in trouble for taking too long to change into my gym clothes, but the reason I took so long was because I needed to eat two pieces of flat bread (I have been having bread cravings, both while awake and apparently while asleep).
The other symptoms I was ready for. I know that pregnant women get nausea, but I never realized that it would incapacitate me. Thankfully, from what I've been told over and over again by reassuring friends and family, my morning sickness should go away in another 2 weeks. At this rate, I should lose no more than 2 more pounds and, from what I've been told again and again, I will have no problem regaining the weight and then some. I think what has horrified me most about the whole nausea thing is that I am a dietetics student. I know how to eat healthy. I strive to eat healthy. You will never find a refined grain in my home...at least until I was 5 weeks pregnant. At that point, any healthy food began looking disgusting to me. I couldn't eat fruits. I couldn't eat vegetables. I couldn't eat whole grains. I could, however, eat pop tarts, wonder bread and kraft macaroni and cheese. In fact, these were things that I could pretty reliably eat every day. The next hit to my health conscious diet came when I realized that I was producing excessive saliva (yes, that does happen to some people during pregnancy - it's called Ptyalism). This wouldn't normally trouble me, but excessive saliva production on top of excessive nausea and excessive heart burn caused my stomach to turn every time I thought about drinking water. I tried and I tried, but no matter what I did I couldn't get down more than about 4 cups of water a day (with the goal during pregnancy of being 8-10). Finally, I found a solution: Fruit Punch Gatorade. I would show up to class surrounded by my med diet classmates who were none the wiser to my pregnancy and would pull out my fruit punch gatorade and my brown sugar and cinnamon pop tarts. Did I look like the nutrition poster child, or what? Thankfully, this bizarre diet is turning around somewhat. I am still having trouble with fresh fruits and vegetables, but I am once again able to drink water and to attempt foods other than pop tarts. The doctor did give me a prescription for an anti-nausea medication to get me through the tough times as well. They warned me when I started it that a major side effect was constipation and that I should take a stool softener. I thought, "I don't think that will be a problem. I think I'll just wait to see if I need one." To avoid going into too much detail, I think I will listen to my doctor from now on during pregnancy.
My other biggest bother is that I can smell EVERYTHING. This can be kind of nice when someone is baking fresh bread, but it is more or less a nuisance in every other situation. Example 1: Simba, the poodle. I love Simba. He is a fabulous little dog and I am thankful every day that we have him. That is, unless he sits on my lap. Then I have the overwhelming smell of ear wax filling my nares. Thankfully, Simba is a tolerant little dog and the hubs is good with a Q-tip. Simba has also been receiving weekly baths in order to remain tolerable. Example 2: The pantry. I am not sure what it is, but I cannot stand opening our pantry right now. I don't really have aversions to foods based on smell - I can smell most any food and be fine - my aversions are based on simply thinking about eating a food and either producing excessive saliva or wanting to toss my cookies. This is why I don't understand the pantry problem. I have asked the hubs several times to smell the pantry and he cannot detect whatever minute signal I am picking up. I was tempted one day last week to go through the entire pantry to find the offending item. Unfortunately this would mean that I would have to spend time in the pantry which is something that I am unwilling to do at this time. Example 3: The house. Our house smells bad. This is something that I never noticed before. We keep it really clean in here, but if the windows are kept closed for greater than 24 hours I find the smell unbearable. I tried burning candles, but I don't like the smell of candles right now. I finally dug out an old bottle of febreeze. It made the house smell much better, but this bottle must have been pretty old because there was a ring around the inside of the bottle where the liquid had been sitting at the same level for quite sometime and there were some things floating in it. I felt that for the sake of our health I probably shouldn't spray febreeze in the house when it has things floating in it. Example 4: Dryer sheets. These are the worst smelling item in the world. I don't know who came up with the description "fresh breeze" but this is inaccurate. The hubs was trying to be nice and washed several of our living room blankets, wanting to make them clean and fresh smelling for me. Unfortunately, after one whiff I discarded all clean blankets and receded to the refuge of my one dirty, unblemished blanket. Finally, yesterday, I decided, mournfully, that my dirty blanket needed to be made clean again. I reluctantly gave over my blanket to be washed with a "scent free" dryer sheet. In the mean time, however, I became cold. I tried to put on the blankets that the hubs washed so valiantly one month ago but realized that there was still a lingering scent of "fresh breeze." Thankfully, my allergies are set off so I was unable to smell the blankets well and was soon able to transition back to the "scent free" blanket.
While this pregnancy has been anything but smooth sailing, the hubs has been extra great. I have been essentially useless (actually, more like a liability than useless - useless implies that you simply are not making things better...I am making things worse many days by saying thing like, "I think I may be hungry, will you make me food?" and when he says, "Sure, what do you want?" I say, "I don't know" and make him list off all of the food that we have in the house. Then he makes an item for me after revisiting the entire list three times, then I leave dirty dishes for him to clean. Then I say that I have a tummy ache and I ask him to just sit with me until it goes away and to scratch my head to make me feel better). He has taken over the majority of the housework and has been willing to provide for all of my needs and most of my wants on days during which I have been unable to meet my basic needs on my own. I don't know how I would do any of this without him and I love him very much. I especially appreciate all of the grocery runs that the hubs has been willing to make when I can't imagine eating anything but a cheese pizza hot pocket.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Differences
The hubs and I are very different people. He is organized, decides to do things the moment he thinks of them so he doesn't forget, and likes to avoid spending money at all costs. I, on the other hand, have an organized mess around me at all times (that's what we disorganized people say to try to gain credibility amongst the organized group; however, I recognize that just because I can find my water bill in one of the four piles of papers on my desk in less than 15 minutes, it does not mean that it is organized, it is simply a mess), I put off things that I think of that I should be doing because whatever activity that I had previously decided was important should not be interrupted (however, that important activity that I am doing often includes looking at wedding pictures on facebook of someone that I don't know just because one of my friends was tagged in 2 of the 169 photos that this person posted and the person who posted the album has their security settings turned down low enough that any creepy person can view their pictures), and reason that as long as "I got a really good deal" on something or "I have been wanting one of these for a really long time" (at least 8 minutes) is a good enough reason to burn through all of the money in my wallet.
These three differences all became apparent today.
1. Organized vs Organized mess
The hubs decided today that he should update a manuscript that required corrections in order to be published. They had asked him questions about data that he acquired three or four years ago and in less than 15 minutes he was able to find the data, run an analysis and answer the reviewers question.
I spent my day reorganizing the downstairs. This is not because I felt a need for my things to be organized. Rather it is because my in laws will be here on Wednesday and I realized that it might be slightly mortifying for them to see the normal condition under which I am happy to live. My day of organization started by pulling things off of my bookshelves and piling them on the floor. This is because I wanted to put different things on the bookshelves that were already on the floor in piles. And no, none of these things are books. I have those packed in boxes in the crawl space. I removed yarn and half finished knitting projects from the bookshelves in order to put Mary Kay merchandise on the shelves. This was an important change because my Mary Kay merchandise was "organized" in piles and I kept on ordering more and more items because I thought I had sold all of a particular product, but it was actually under other products. Because I don't want to run us into the poor house, I think it is important to keep the Mary Kay on the shelves rather than tangled up balls of yarn. But this led to a conundrum - what was I going to do with all of the yarn? I postponed coming up with a solution to this for a while by trying to untangle knots and by unraveling unfinished projects. After about 1.5 hours of that I realized that while I had cleaned up several small piles all over the den I had created several more. To eliminate the piles of yarn I put them in boxes and then piled those boxes in the corner of the room.
This was also evident when the hubs and I decided to hang up some pictures in our dinette. Here is my process for hanging up pictures: Rummage around until I can find a few random nails of various sizes. Pick a place on the wall that "feels right" to hammer in the nail. Hammer the nail in all the way accidentally. Try to pull the nail out half way. Realize that the nail is too loose and that every time I put the picture on it it pushes itself back into the wall. Remove the nail from the wall. Pick a spot 1/2 in to the right of the first spot and try again. Repeat until I hammer the nail into the wall the correct amount and manage to get the picture to hang evenly. Here is the hubs' process: Have patience to wait for command strips to go on sale at the store and stock up on special command strips for hanging pictures. Get out the necessary supplies: pencil, large level, small level, command strips. Measure the wall several times while wife sits at dinette table saying "Why can't we just eyeball it?" Have a debate with self regarding if the picture should be hung centered on the wall or centered above the table which isn't centered on the wall. Listen to wife once again providing her solution "Why don't you just hang it there," and then pointing to an arbitrary spot on the wall. Measure the wall. Calculate the halfway point in your head. Double check your calculation on a calculator. Write the measurements on the back of the picture frame so you have an easy reference in case you have to hang the picture up again in the future. Ask wife to read the measurement off of the measuring tape. Realize that Wife rounds to the nearest inch. Have to remeasure the wall. Rely on self to read the measurement off of the measuring tape to the nearest 1/8 inch. Make sure that the command strip is even vertically using the small level. Give wife job to keep her busy: tell her to apply pressure to the command strip for at least one minute in order to make sure that it has tightly adhered to the wall. Put up the second command strip for the second picture using a similar process to the first. Use the large level to make sure that the command strips are level in reference to each other. Make wife press command strip to the wall again. Repeat with the third command strip. When wife tries to hang up pictures explain to her that you can apply absolutely no weight to the command strip until it has been on the wall for 24 hours so the pictures cannot be hung up until tomorrow. Put everything away, neatly, where it should go.
This is much different than the way that I have used command strips. Usually I forget that I need them until the last second and have to run out and buy them at full price. Then I eyeball where the command strip should go on the wall, I give it a light push to secure it to the wall and then hang up the picture immediately. While I realize that the directions technically say that you should wait 24 hours before hanging anything on the hook, I have never had a hook detach from the wall when I have hung things up after just 30 seconds.
2. Does things right away vs procrastinating
The hubs was working on the revisions for his paper within two days of receiving it.
I have had piles of stuff sitting in the basement since February.
3. Saves money vs Spends money
The hubs spent no money today. In fact he turns off power strips in order to prevent the expensive drain of electricity caused by appliances and electronics.
I rationalized spending $9.99 on a "Misto." This is a steel canister that you pump to create pressure which allows the Misto to act like an aerosol can. My plan was to put olive oil in it. Then I realized that I had a can or olive oil Pam spray up in the cabinet. I have wanted a Misto for a long time however, since before Olive Oil Pam Spray existed, so I decided to get it anyway.
Despite our differences, the hubs and I love each other enough to accept and adapt to each other. Last weekend, for example, the hubs asked me to clean his glasses. He got his microfiber cloth from his glasses case and handed me both. I cleaned the glasses and then nicely folded the cloth in half and placed it back in his glasses case. He said thank you for putting the cloth away neatly the way that he would do it. Little did her know that initially I was planning on throwing the wadded up cloth into the car. My next plan, when I realized that this would make the hubs unhappy, was to put the crumpled up cloth into the glasses case. Then I thought "What would the hubs do?" and I realized that the answer to that question never ended in anything being crumpled so I nicely folded the cloth before placing it in the case. This is true love.
These three differences all became apparent today.
1. Organized vs Organized mess
The hubs decided today that he should update a manuscript that required corrections in order to be published. They had asked him questions about data that he acquired three or four years ago and in less than 15 minutes he was able to find the data, run an analysis and answer the reviewers question.
I spent my day reorganizing the downstairs. This is not because I felt a need for my things to be organized. Rather it is because my in laws will be here on Wednesday and I realized that it might be slightly mortifying for them to see the normal condition under which I am happy to live. My day of organization started by pulling things off of my bookshelves and piling them on the floor. This is because I wanted to put different things on the bookshelves that were already on the floor in piles. And no, none of these things are books. I have those packed in boxes in the crawl space. I removed yarn and half finished knitting projects from the bookshelves in order to put Mary Kay merchandise on the shelves. This was an important change because my Mary Kay merchandise was "organized" in piles and I kept on ordering more and more items because I thought I had sold all of a particular product, but it was actually under other products. Because I don't want to run us into the poor house, I think it is important to keep the Mary Kay on the shelves rather than tangled up balls of yarn. But this led to a conundrum - what was I going to do with all of the yarn? I postponed coming up with a solution to this for a while by trying to untangle knots and by unraveling unfinished projects. After about 1.5 hours of that I realized that while I had cleaned up several small piles all over the den I had created several more. To eliminate the piles of yarn I put them in boxes and then piled those boxes in the corner of the room.
This was also evident when the hubs and I decided to hang up some pictures in our dinette. Here is my process for hanging up pictures: Rummage around until I can find a few random nails of various sizes. Pick a place on the wall that "feels right" to hammer in the nail. Hammer the nail in all the way accidentally. Try to pull the nail out half way. Realize that the nail is too loose and that every time I put the picture on it it pushes itself back into the wall. Remove the nail from the wall. Pick a spot 1/2 in to the right of the first spot and try again. Repeat until I hammer the nail into the wall the correct amount and manage to get the picture to hang evenly. Here is the hubs' process: Have patience to wait for command strips to go on sale at the store and stock up on special command strips for hanging pictures. Get out the necessary supplies: pencil, large level, small level, command strips. Measure the wall several times while wife sits at dinette table saying "Why can't we just eyeball it?" Have a debate with self regarding if the picture should be hung centered on the wall or centered above the table which isn't centered on the wall. Listen to wife once again providing her solution "Why don't you just hang it there," and then pointing to an arbitrary spot on the wall. Measure the wall. Calculate the halfway point in your head. Double check your calculation on a calculator. Write the measurements on the back of the picture frame so you have an easy reference in case you have to hang the picture up again in the future. Ask wife to read the measurement off of the measuring tape. Realize that Wife rounds to the nearest inch. Have to remeasure the wall. Rely on self to read the measurement off of the measuring tape to the nearest 1/8 inch. Make sure that the command strip is even vertically using the small level. Give wife job to keep her busy: tell her to apply pressure to the command strip for at least one minute in order to make sure that it has tightly adhered to the wall. Put up the second command strip for the second picture using a similar process to the first. Use the large level to make sure that the command strips are level in reference to each other. Make wife press command strip to the wall again. Repeat with the third command strip. When wife tries to hang up pictures explain to her that you can apply absolutely no weight to the command strip until it has been on the wall for 24 hours so the pictures cannot be hung up until tomorrow. Put everything away, neatly, where it should go.
This is much different than the way that I have used command strips. Usually I forget that I need them until the last second and have to run out and buy them at full price. Then I eyeball where the command strip should go on the wall, I give it a light push to secure it to the wall and then hang up the picture immediately. While I realize that the directions technically say that you should wait 24 hours before hanging anything on the hook, I have never had a hook detach from the wall when I have hung things up after just 30 seconds.
2. Does things right away vs procrastinating
The hubs was working on the revisions for his paper within two days of receiving it.
I have had piles of stuff sitting in the basement since February.
3. Saves money vs Spends money
The hubs spent no money today. In fact he turns off power strips in order to prevent the expensive drain of electricity caused by appliances and electronics.
I rationalized spending $9.99 on a "Misto." This is a steel canister that you pump to create pressure which allows the Misto to act like an aerosol can. My plan was to put olive oil in it. Then I realized that I had a can or olive oil Pam spray up in the cabinet. I have wanted a Misto for a long time however, since before Olive Oil Pam Spray existed, so I decided to get it anyway.
Despite our differences, the hubs and I love each other enough to accept and adapt to each other. Last weekend, for example, the hubs asked me to clean his glasses. He got his microfiber cloth from his glasses case and handed me both. I cleaned the glasses and then nicely folded the cloth in half and placed it back in his glasses case. He said thank you for putting the cloth away neatly the way that he would do it. Little did her know that initially I was planning on throwing the wadded up cloth into the car. My next plan, when I realized that this would make the hubs unhappy, was to put the crumpled up cloth into the glasses case. Then I thought "What would the hubs do?" and I realized that the answer to that question never ended in anything being crumpled so I nicely folded the cloth before placing it in the case. This is true love.
Friday, November 19, 2010
Forays into Foodservice
I am an intern. Right now I am an intern in foodservice. When I used to think of foodservice it was the foodservice from reality tv chef shows. It seemed fun. I like cooking. I like baking. I like it when people eat foods that I have prepared.
However those shows are nothing like hospital foodservice where I am currently interning. For one thing, everyone hates their food. This isn't necessarily surprising as it is mass produced and everyone is sick so things don't taste right anyway. Second, there are a lot of logistics! In hospitals there is constantly construction and there are meetings about that construction and foodservice has to be involved because food is important. Finally, they don't really cook in hospitals, as I have discovered. My fellow interns and I are responsible for planning an event during our rotation. We wanted to do gingerbread men and decorate for the holidays. Apparently our food supplier not only does not supply gingerbread men, but they don't provide gingerbread cookies, gingerbread bulk dough or gingerbread mix. This means that we would have to make the cookies from scratch. When I presented that idea they said that they really didn't do that.
So, hospitals don't cook food, they thaw and reheat it. Instead of cooking they spend their time sorting out ordering guides, figuring out staffing issues, going to meetings about construction and filling out patient satisfaction surveys for unsatisfied patients. Essentially the only aspect of reality tv celebrity chef foodservice that I enjoy, cooking, is omitted from the process.
Disclaimer: I really do not like my foodservice rotation so I could be a little bit down on hospital food. I have eaten a few meals in the cafeteria and they are okay.
However those shows are nothing like hospital foodservice where I am currently interning. For one thing, everyone hates their food. This isn't necessarily surprising as it is mass produced and everyone is sick so things don't taste right anyway. Second, there are a lot of logistics! In hospitals there is constantly construction and there are meetings about that construction and foodservice has to be involved because food is important. Finally, they don't really cook in hospitals, as I have discovered. My fellow interns and I are responsible for planning an event during our rotation. We wanted to do gingerbread men and decorate for the holidays. Apparently our food supplier not only does not supply gingerbread men, but they don't provide gingerbread cookies, gingerbread bulk dough or gingerbread mix. This means that we would have to make the cookies from scratch. When I presented that idea they said that they really didn't do that.
So, hospitals don't cook food, they thaw and reheat it. Instead of cooking they spend their time sorting out ordering guides, figuring out staffing issues, going to meetings about construction and filling out patient satisfaction surveys for unsatisfied patients. Essentially the only aspect of reality tv celebrity chef foodservice that I enjoy, cooking, is omitted from the process.
Disclaimer: I really do not like my foodservice rotation so I could be a little bit down on hospital food. I have eaten a few meals in the cafeteria and they are okay.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
The interview trail - The 2 months that determine our next 4 years
The hubs and I are on interview # 2 for residency right now. His first interview was yesterday at Mt. Carmel in Columbus, and today he is interviewing in Ann Arbor. Between now and Christmas we will be going to Ohio State, Riverside (also in Columbus); Metro Health, Cleveland Clinic and Case Western, all in Cleveland; Pittsburgh; Johns Hopkins in Baltimore; Mass Gen in Boston; and Stanford in Stanford, California (near San Jose).
This whole process is quite overwhelming and complicated - and most people do not understand how it works. Here is a brief outline of what life will look like for us between now and June, 2011.
1.) Between now and Christmas the main concern is hitting the interview trail. Well, the hubs is hitting the interview trail...I'm just sightseeing. My other responsibility when we travel to the interview cities is to determine if there is reasonably priced real estate within a half hour drive of the medical center. Also, given my recent safety scares (see Gun Shy) I am super concerned with living in a safe place. I drive around each city with a map and draw smiley faces over the neighborhoods that look safe and a frowny face over those that look dangerous (criteria for dangerous or crummy neighborhoods: Barbed wire, men wearing their pants below their behinds, payday loan stores, condemned homes).
2.) January through February we will be deciding on a ranking list for the hubs and I want to go. This is important for the match. Essentially, each residency program ranks who they want and the applicants rank where they want to go. A computer then "matches" the lists and places the applicants in residency programs. The somewhat stressful part here is that you have to sign a contract saying that you will go where you are matched. This means that while we have preferences, we ultimately do not have the final control over where we are going to be living for the next 4 years. To make it more complicated, we own a house. Because of this we are thinking about trying to do a 1+3 year program rather than a 4 year program. For a 4 year program the hubs will be doing anesthesia for all 4 years. For a 1+3 year program he will be doing medicine for 1 year and then anesthesia for the next 3 years. The nice thing about this option is that we can spend year 1 in our current hometown and then the next three years elsewhere. This would give us one full year of knowing where we will be moving, to sell our current house and to buy one in our new city.
3.) March - Match day!!! Match day occurs in March and is the day where 4th year medical students from all over the country discover where they are going to be matched for residency. This also means that this is the day where you find out where you will be living in just 2-3 months.
4.) June - Move to our new home, or stay in our current home, or...it's complicated. Like I said, we won't know until March what we will be doing.
There are many considerations that go into making this decision and they will all weigh in over the next few months. These include proximity to our families, the fact that we want to start our own family soon, moving to an east or west coast town where the cost of living is much higher or staying in the midwest where we will have a much easier time making ends meet, moving away from a city which we love, choosing the best research program where the hubs can easily transition into a fellowship, choosing a strong anesthesia residency program...so much to think about!
I will update as we continue this process!
FAQ:
Will he be a doctor after he graduates from medical school?
Yes, he will be a doctor. However, you have to do residency for further training in your specialty. You practice under a doctor called an attending (they have finished residency). He will be a doctor and he will be getting a paycheck (thank goodness!) but you are still considered a trainee during residency.
Is intern year a part of medical school or residency or something else?
Intern year is a part of residency. It is the first year of residency. For some specialties, like surgery or anesthesiology, they have an intern year so you can get a bit more exposure to general medicine. This will make you a better doctor in the end. This is why the hubs can do a 1+3 year residency program where we won't have to move our first year. The first year will be in medicine and the last 3 in anesthesia.
How long is residency?
It depends on a few factors. Many programs are 3 years long - Emergency medicine, family medicine... Some are 4, some 5. And then if you decide to do something like neurosurgery I'm pretty sure that residency never ends. :-)
What is the difference between an intern, a resident and an attending?
First you do medical school for four years. People sometimes get confused if the hubs has graduated or not because years 3 and 4 of medical school are clinical years where you do rotations in several specialties. This helps you to narrow down what specialty you want to do for residency. During the 4th year of medical school you apply to residency programs. Some of these programs include an intern year (the first year of residency - while you are a resident they refer to you as an intern...you don't get referred to as a resident until the second year after you graduate from medical school, the first year after intern year). After intern year you complete the rest of residency. When you finish residency you are an attending, with a big salary boost and the benefit of being able to practice on your own.
What are the boards?
The boards are standardized tests that you have to take along the way to becoming a doctor. Step 1 is the first board test that you take after your second year of medical school. At this point you are getting ready to start your clinical years of medical school. Step 2 is actually two tests: Clinical Skills and Clinical Knowledge. Clinical Skills is a test where you go in and talk to patients (actors that are acting out a specific disease or condition) and you get graded for that. Clinical knowledge is a written test, kind of like steps 1 and 3. Step 3 is a test that you take during residency.
This whole process is quite overwhelming and complicated - and most people do not understand how it works. Here is a brief outline of what life will look like for us between now and June, 2011.
1.) Between now and Christmas the main concern is hitting the interview trail. Well, the hubs is hitting the interview trail...I'm just sightseeing. My other responsibility when we travel to the interview cities is to determine if there is reasonably priced real estate within a half hour drive of the medical center. Also, given my recent safety scares (see Gun Shy) I am super concerned with living in a safe place. I drive around each city with a map and draw smiley faces over the neighborhoods that look safe and a frowny face over those that look dangerous (criteria for dangerous or crummy neighborhoods: Barbed wire, men wearing their pants below their behinds, payday loan stores, condemned homes).
2.) January through February we will be deciding on a ranking list for the hubs and I want to go. This is important for the match. Essentially, each residency program ranks who they want and the applicants rank where they want to go. A computer then "matches" the lists and places the applicants in residency programs. The somewhat stressful part here is that you have to sign a contract saying that you will go where you are matched. This means that while we have preferences, we ultimately do not have the final control over where we are going to be living for the next 4 years. To make it more complicated, we own a house. Because of this we are thinking about trying to do a 1+3 year program rather than a 4 year program. For a 4 year program the hubs will be doing anesthesia for all 4 years. For a 1+3 year program he will be doing medicine for 1 year and then anesthesia for the next 3 years. The nice thing about this option is that we can spend year 1 in our current hometown and then the next three years elsewhere. This would give us one full year of knowing where we will be moving, to sell our current house and to buy one in our new city.
3.) March - Match day!!! Match day occurs in March and is the day where 4th year medical students from all over the country discover where they are going to be matched for residency. This also means that this is the day where you find out where you will be living in just 2-3 months.
4.) June - Move to our new home, or stay in our current home, or...it's complicated. Like I said, we won't know until March what we will be doing.
There are many considerations that go into making this decision and they will all weigh in over the next few months. These include proximity to our families, the fact that we want to start our own family soon, moving to an east or west coast town where the cost of living is much higher or staying in the midwest where we will have a much easier time making ends meet, moving away from a city which we love, choosing the best research program where the hubs can easily transition into a fellowship, choosing a strong anesthesia residency program...so much to think about!
I will update as we continue this process!
FAQ:
Will he be a doctor after he graduates from medical school?
Yes, he will be a doctor. However, you have to do residency for further training in your specialty. You practice under a doctor called an attending (they have finished residency). He will be a doctor and he will be getting a paycheck (thank goodness!) but you are still considered a trainee during residency.
Is intern year a part of medical school or residency or something else?
Intern year is a part of residency. It is the first year of residency. For some specialties, like surgery or anesthesiology, they have an intern year so you can get a bit more exposure to general medicine. This will make you a better doctor in the end. This is why the hubs can do a 1+3 year residency program where we won't have to move our first year. The first year will be in medicine and the last 3 in anesthesia.
How long is residency?
It depends on a few factors. Many programs are 3 years long - Emergency medicine, family medicine... Some are 4, some 5. And then if you decide to do something like neurosurgery I'm pretty sure that residency never ends. :-)
What is the difference between an intern, a resident and an attending?
First you do medical school for four years. People sometimes get confused if the hubs has graduated or not because years 3 and 4 of medical school are clinical years where you do rotations in several specialties. This helps you to narrow down what specialty you want to do for residency. During the 4th year of medical school you apply to residency programs. Some of these programs include an intern year (the first year of residency - while you are a resident they refer to you as an intern...you don't get referred to as a resident until the second year after you graduate from medical school, the first year after intern year). After intern year you complete the rest of residency. When you finish residency you are an attending, with a big salary boost and the benefit of being able to practice on your own.
What are the boards?
The boards are standardized tests that you have to take along the way to becoming a doctor. Step 1 is the first board test that you take after your second year of medical school. At this point you are getting ready to start your clinical years of medical school. Step 2 is actually two tests: Clinical Skills and Clinical Knowledge. Clinical Skills is a test where you go in and talk to patients (actors that are acting out a specific disease or condition) and you get graded for that. Clinical knowledge is a written test, kind of like steps 1 and 3. Step 3 is a test that you take during residency.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Safari is the winner!
If you started reading this post because you thought that I was going to be talking about the obvious superiority of Apple products then I am sorry to disappoint you. This post is actually being written because I discovered the stats tab in blogger tonight. With this wonderful tab you can find out how many people have viewed your blog, where they are from (I discovered one page view was from Israel and one from China), what browser they are using (Safari - you are winning with 54%, glad to see my Mac people are sticking with me!), what page they viewed on your blog and how many people have visited your blog in any given day. I feel like I have some super spy technology now! It is kind of like when I saw that facebook had that application that you could add to see who was visiting your page (the application was actually just a program that allowed some spyware company to spy on you, not for you to spy on those visiting your page, but I digress). Ah, another way to blow 5 minutes in the middle of the day when I can't motivate myself to do something useful. :-)
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