Cloth Diapering: Part 1

Keith and I are cloth diapering for two main reasons: 1.) we like the planet, and 2.) we like not spending money.  I just read that parents change about 8000 diapers by the time their child is potty trained, which I can believe.  We have already changed about 500, unfortunately all disposables since she was too small for the one-size cloth diapers.  8000 diapers, in addition to taking up a lot of space in landfills, cost a lot of money.  It costs about $2000-$2500 to buy all of those diapers.  When I realized that we could make it through Gwen's entire life from being a newborn to being potty trained with only about 24-28 cloth diapers (which come in adorable patterns and are so much cuter than disposables), and that this would cost maybe $600, plus the cost of detergent and water to wash the diapers (not a trivial amount, but still much less than the $1400-$1900 gap between cloth and disposables), I was sold.

I'm now embarking on this journey.  The diaper detergent came in the mail last night (Rockin Green), and we have 3 different types of diapers to try: 6 g-diapers, 3 snap closure bumGenius one-size pocket diapers, and 3 hook-and-loop closure bumGenius one-size pocket diapers.  We are trying these two types to see which we like better - some very wise cloth diapering friends recommended that we only buy a couple of any type at first, try them out, and see how we like them before we go out and buy a large amount.

I am currently prepping the diapers.  When you first buy cloth diapers, you have to wash them about 5 times to remove any chemicals that are still present from the manufacturing process.  This step also makes the diapers much more absorbent.  Funny - I have been spending months researching cloth diapers, detergents, etc.  I am ready and willing to launder dirty diapers for the next 2+ years.  But what paralyzed me to nearly the point of inaction was when I first threw the diapers in the washing machine last night.  Each one of these diapers costs about $18 (it may sound pricey since you can get about 65 disposable newborn diapers for the same price, but that many disposables only last us about 4.5-5 days right now, so $18 is a small price to pay for a diaper we can use again and again), and if you wash them incorrectly you can ruin them.  If you wash them with regular detergent, you can make them non-absorbent.  If you wash them on too high a heat setting, you can melt the outer layer of fabric, a waterproof material called PUL, and no longer have a waterproof diaper.  Both of those are pretty big problems.  I kind of like diapers to have the qualities being absorbent and waterproof.  I went ahead and took the plunge and washed them and dried them once last night.  Today I will wash and dry them 4 more times (and contact a local store that specializes in cloth diapers to make sure that I am doing everything correctly).  Then we will officially be a cloth diapering family.

Grendelyn

Every once in a while (about 20 times a day...maybe more or less, I lose track), our sweet little cherub baby transforms into a monster baby.  With one scream, she is able to control the room.  This is why Keith recently started calling her Grendel (after the monster from the classic of literature, Beowulf), and then turned that into Grendelyn.  When I hear her crying in the other room and I ask Keith what's wrong, he says, "Oh, nothing.  Grendel just came to visit."  And when she was quietly sleeping on her daddy's lap after a crying fit and I asked Keith how Grendel was doing, he informed me that she left and Gwen was sitting nicely on his lap.

It is so much fun watching Keith and Gwen interact.  Two nights ago, Keith was studying for Step 3 (the test that first year residents have to take...for any Grey's Anatomy fans, that is the test that George O'Malley failed requiring him to re-do intern year), and I could hear him reading her review questions.  He would say things like, "What do you want to do with this patient Gwen?  You want to do A.) Give the patient a beta-blocker?  Well, what about choice C.) Order an abdominal ultrasound?  You want to give them an ultrasound?  That's right!  We have to check for internal bleeding!  You don't want to give them a beta-blocker because that can make their BP fall even more.  How did you get so smart?"

*L*O*V*E*

Baby and Poodle: BFFs

Okay, so maybe they aren't BFFs, but they are tolerating each other well.  We have made some changes to make Simba realize that Gwen isn't replacing him so he will like her more.  These include giving him treats whenever we do something special for her, creating an ottoman (yes, creating - I didn't want to buy a $200 matching ottoman to go with my glider, so I took a large rubbermaid container that I use to store craft supplies, covered it with an old comforter that is folded over twice to make it extra soft, and pushed it up to the chair.  It is also next to the window so he can look out the window to occupy himself while I am feeding or reading to her) in the nursery for him to sit on while I am sitting in the glider rocker with Gwen, and making sure to play with him and let him sit on our laps when they are not in use by Gwen.

How can I tell that they are getting along better?  Well, while Gwen wasn't having any problems with the poodle before, she has gone from not paying any attention to him to watching him when he's around and active.  As for Simba, he stopped growling at her.  Additionally, he hadn't been sitting on our laps, even when she wasn't on our laps, for the first few weeks we were home.  He finally decided that he would like to sit on our laps again.  Maybe he has forgiven us since we have been spoiling him with treats.  And he doesn't just sit on our laps, but he comes over when we have Gwen (who he used to make a large circle around) and will lay with her (he does look slightly annoyed when she whacks him with one of her flailing limbs, but then quickly goes back to sleep).  Finally, he tries to comfort her by licking her.  I realize that licking is not the dog trying to give you a kiss, but I do think that he uses it as a means of comfort.  Whenever I cry, he comes up to me and tries to lick me.  He did the same thing to my mother-in-law when she was walking him and tripped, skinning her knee.  When Gwen cries, he tries to lick her.  I tell him no, and I would prefer this habit he is developing to be broken quickly, but at least it is a sign of acceptance and protection.

Simba is a quick study

The first day that I implemented my plan to correct Simba's behavior he had three time outs.  Yesterday, he only had one time out, and I could hear him crying from the bedroom during the entire 5 minutes.  It is clear that he hates his punishment.  Today, he has had no time outs.

Not only is the negative reinforcement working, but the positive reinforcement is working as well.  I have been giving him a treat each time I do something for the baby.  Now he sits and interacts nicely with the baby, and whenever she cries or I go to change her diaper he walks to his treat bag.  He has definitely learned that when I interact with the baby he gets treats, and this has made him very happy.

Thankfully, food motivated dogs are the easiest to train.  And because he loves his treats so much, I can't imagine him having any more run ins with the baby.

Simba Struggles

I am super bummed and stressed out right now.  Simba, our beloved "first born," is jealous of Gwen.  We knew he would be even before she was born.  And we were hoping that he wouldn't get too depressed when we brought our bundle of joy home from the hospital.  But he was depressed.  We did our best to pay attention to him as much as possible.  We also tried to get people who came to visit Gwen to play with Simba so he wouldn't feel left out.  When our company would hold Gwen, either Keith or I would get on the floor and play with Simba.  We have been taking him on extra walks and giving him extra treats.  But the reality is that when Gwen cries, we have to drop what we are doing and pay attention to her, and sometimes what we are doing is paying attention to Simba.

I can see that the lack of attention is not only getting to him, but that he is getting annoyed with her.  She cries quite a bit (this is to be expected since she is less than a month old), and when she cries and wakes him up he looks grumpy.  He also gets annoyed when he is laying on my lap and I have to make him get up so I can tend to the baby, and there is no mistake that I am tending to the baby when I go and change a dirty diaper.  Finally, Simba is not allowed to sleep in our bed.  We have a chair sitting next to our bed that we placed his dog bed in.  He sleeps in the chair next to our bed, but for the past couple of years has tried to sneak into our bed in the middle of the night most nights.  When we find him in our bed, we send him back to his own.  Since Gwen won't sleep on her own, she has been sleeping on my chest in our bed.  This has placed her above Simba in the "pack."  He has not been allowed in the bed, but after just a couple of weeks of being in our home Gwen was allowed in bed.

This whole situation has been having its ill effect on him for the last 4 weeks.  But last night Simba decided to take a stand.  He has never been aggressive the entire time that we have owned him.  He loves people.  However, the reason that he loves people is because he loves attention.  This new little person not only does not have the ability to pay attention to Simba, but she steals the attention from him.  Last night she was crying quite a bit and he started to bark and growl at her.  I didn't have time to get to her before he did, but thankfully he just licked her face when he got to her.  But since then he has been increasing the amount of barking and growling that he has been doing.  He also climbs up on the back of the couch when she is on the couch on our laps, and he looks like he is getting ready to try to pounce her.  This has me very concerned.  I don't think he would bite her, but he is an animal and animals are unpredictable.  I think he is just trying to assert his dominance (this is why I think that he barked at her, lunged at her, but then just licked her...however, that whole scenario scared me to death).

I googled "dog jealous of new baby" last night.  I have formulated a plan to get him to accept Gwen, or to at least make him obey us.  First of all, we never leave them alone together.  If I have to leave the room, I put her in her pack and play.  Second, when he barks, growls, or shows any sort of aggressive behavior I yell "No!" and put him in time out.  Time out may seem like an abnormal thing to do with a dog, but essentially I just put him in a room by himself for 5 minutes.  He hates being by himself, so if he associates his misbehavior with being made to be by himself, he usually fixes his behavior.  Third, I give him copious amounts of treats.  I bought training treats (treats that only have 3 calories each so you can give several during training without overfeeding the dog) a while back and am now giving tons of treats.  If he sniffs her nicely, he gets a treat.  If I am breastfeeding her, he gets a treat.  If she cries and I have to get up to take care of her, he gets a treat.  If I have to change her diaper, he gets a treat.  If she cries to the point that she is driving both Simba and me crazy, he gets a treat.  Hopefully, he will begin to make the association baby=treat, treat=good, therefore baby=good.

I hope he straightens up quickly and starts to like, or at least be civil towards, her.  It is very stressful to not know what he will do each time he approaches Gwen and me.  I just want them to be friends.  Does anyone have any advice?

Things I said I'd never do

I had many notions about being a mother and rules about what I would and would not do.  I have broken many of those rules.

1. Pacifiers: I have heard of nipple confusion, and since breastfeeding was so important to me, I had an idea that I would not give my child a pacifier.  However, she had a pacifier her first day of life.  Not the pacifier that they are given in the hospital to suck on when they are getting shots and heel sticks.  This is a pacifier that we brought from home.  Why?  Gwen was biting me with every single suck while she was breastfeeding.  Her jaw was too tight and her tongue was positioned incorrectly, and the only cure was for her to practice sucking.  I very quickly became a believer in pacifiers when I saw that when other things wouldn't calm my tiny little baby, she was always willing to suck on a pacifier and became much calmer.  I have learned that pacifiers can be good.  For one thing, they are recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, since their use at bedtime and during naps can reduce the risk of SIDS.  Secondly,  Gwen has been a little fuss monster for the past hour, and the only way that Simba and I have gotten any peace from her screaming has been when we put the "plug" in her mouth (this is the term that my mother-in-law uses for pacifiers).  Finally, I have been reading a book called the Happiest Baby on the Block and think that the author, an M.D. who has spent his career studying colic, is really onto something.  He believes that colic is caused because of a missing 4th trimester.  Babies have to be born after 9 months or their heads would be too large to fit through the birth canal.  Yet they are unable to handle the emotions of being alive until after 3 months of life (the doctor explains his theory much better than I do).  In order to get rid of colic, therefore, you need to make them feel like they are still in the womb.  You can do his by swaddling, bouncing, and sucking.  Gwen is a little drama queen who goes from sleeping to crying at the drop of a hat, and often the only way we can get her to chill out is by creating this womb like environment.  It is natural and comforting for babies to suck, so why would I deny her that?

2. Co-sleeping: I know that co-sleeping isn't as safe as baby sleeping in her own crib.  In fact, I did tons of reading while I was pregnant to make sure that I created the safest sleep environment for our baby.  However, she rejected her sleep environment immediately.  I can't get her to sleep in her crib or her bassinet, and I can get her to sleep a maximum of about 1 hour if I put her in her swing or in a vibrating bouncy seat with a sound machine turned up so loud that I can't carry on a conversation with Keith.  Needless to say, sleeping in 1 hour chunks is not good for you.  Sleeping in 3 hour chunks is hard enough.  I discovered that if we let Gwen sleep in our bed (either on my chest, or next to me with my arm around her), that she will sleep in 3 hour chunks with one 5-6 hour chunk at the beginning of the night.  Co-sleeping makes me paranoid, however.  If she sleeps on my chest, I stick pillows under either side of my body.  These not only make it impossible for me to roll over, they also provide me convenient arm props so I can rest my arms on the pillows and hold Gwen comfortably.  If she lays beside me on the bed, I place her on top of my maternity body pillow (I'm getting much more use out of  it than I ever anticipated) since it is a firm pillow that puts her above our bodies in the bed.  I want her higher than us so she has the easiest access to oxygen and isn't rebreathing her CO2.  In addition, I always make sure that I turn my face away from her while we are sleeping so I don't breathe CO2 onto her.  Propping her up also prevents us from rolling over onto her.  I am hoping that she will soon learn to sleep in the swing (we try again every couple of nights to see if her preferences have changed), but until then I'm just going to enjoy cuddling with my daughter.

3. Avoiding allergens in my diet: I've been told by several people that Gwen may be fussy because of the food that I am eating.  I don't think so.  I think she just fusses sometimes.  Why?  Because I don't really ever change my diet and sometimes she fusses and sometimes she doesn't.  However, I should probably watch eating certain foods like peanuts since nut allergies run in my family.  I just love peanut butter and nuts so much!  Plus, nuts are healthy.  I googled "Foods to avoid while breastfeeding" and an article with 18 foods to avoid came up in the search results explaining why each food should be avoided.  The problem, however, was that it wasn't 18 foods, but rather 18 food groups.  It said I should avoid nuts, citrus, cruciferous veggies, dairy, soy, wheat...I realized that if I followed the advice of this article that I would no longer be able to eat anything.  So I'm not going to worry about it.  I'm just going to eat what I want and try to eat a healthy varied diet, and not drive myself crazy.  I'm going to hope she doesn't get allergies, but if she does I will cross that bridge when it comes.

4. Convenience items: I am going to use cloth diapers and cloth baby wipes.  The problem is that my baby only weighs somewhere between 6 and 7 pounds (we will find out her weight at her one month appointment tomorrow).  One-size cloth diapers don't fit until the baby is about 10 pounds.  We are going to try small G-diapers, but they won't fit until she is 8 pounds.  There are newborn cloth diapers, but financially they don't make sense (she has so many wet and dirty diapers throughout the day at this point that we would have to buy a ton of cloth diapers in the newborn size and then she would outgrow them in a couple of months, and newborn cloth diapers are almost as expensive as one-size).  So we are contributing to landfills by filling a trashbag with disposable diapers ever other day.  Since I am using disposable diapers, I have also been using disposable wipes.  Why?  After I use a wipe, I naturally just stuff it into the diaper.  If I am using disposable diapers, I stuff disposable wipes in the diaper and can throw the whole thing away.  When I use cloth diapers, I will use cloth wipes and will just throw the whole thing into the washing machine.  I've been using some other disposable products like face wipes and pacifier wipes.  I don't use these products at home, but I've found that the convenience of these items is worth it when I am out and about.  Babies are hard enough to raise that I should just accept that we have convenience products to make my life easier.  While I will try to limit my environmental impact as much as possible, I am also not going to overcomplicate my life by swearing off all convenience items.

Gwen seems happy and healthy, and I know she is showered with love, so I'm not going to sweat that I have broken these "rules."  I'm just going to keep on doing what I'm doing and accept that raising a baby requires flexibility.