I had many notions about being a mother and rules about what I would and would not do. I have broken many of those rules.
1. Pacifiers: I have heard of nipple confusion, and since breastfeeding was so important to me, I had an idea that I would not give my child a pacifier. However, she had a pacifier her first day of life. Not the pacifier that they are given in the hospital to suck on when they are getting shots and heel sticks. This is a pacifier that we brought from home. Why? Gwen was biting me with every single suck while she was breastfeeding. Her jaw was too tight and her tongue was positioned incorrectly, and the only cure was for her to practice sucking. I very quickly became a believer in pacifiers when I saw that when other things wouldn't calm my tiny little baby, she was always willing to suck on a pacifier and became much calmer. I have learned that pacifiers can be good. For one thing, they are recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, since their use at bedtime and during naps can reduce the risk of SIDS. Secondly, Gwen has been a little fuss monster for the past hour, and the only way that Simba and I have gotten any peace from her screaming has been when we put the "plug" in her mouth (this is the term that my mother-in-law uses for pacifiers). Finally, I have been reading a book called the Happiest Baby on the Block and think that the author, an M.D. who has spent his career studying colic, is really onto something. He believes that colic is caused because of a missing 4th trimester. Babies have to be born after 9 months or their heads would be too large to fit through the birth canal. Yet they are unable to handle the emotions of being alive until after 3 months of life (the doctor explains his theory much better than I do). In order to get rid of colic, therefore, you need to make them feel like they are still in the womb. You can do his by swaddling, bouncing, and sucking. Gwen is a little drama queen who goes from sleeping to crying at the drop of a hat, and often the only way we can get her to chill out is by creating this womb like environment. It is natural and comforting for babies to suck, so why would I deny her that?
2. Co-sleeping: I know that co-sleeping isn't as safe as baby sleeping in her own crib. In fact, I did tons of reading while I was pregnant to make sure that I created the safest sleep environment for our baby. However, she rejected her sleep environment immediately. I can't get her to sleep in her crib or her bassinet, and I can get her to sleep a maximum of about 1 hour if I put her in her swing or in a vibrating bouncy seat with a sound machine turned up so loud that I can't carry on a conversation with Keith. Needless to say, sleeping in 1 hour chunks is not good for you. Sleeping in 3 hour chunks is hard enough. I discovered that if we let Gwen sleep in our bed (either on my chest, or next to me with my arm around her), that she will sleep in 3 hour chunks with one 5-6 hour chunk at the beginning of the night. Co-sleeping makes me paranoid, however. If she sleeps on my chest, I stick pillows under either side of my body. These not only make it impossible for me to roll over, they also provide me convenient arm props so I can rest my arms on the pillows and hold Gwen comfortably. If she lays beside me on the bed, I place her on top of my maternity body pillow (I'm getting much more use out of it than I ever anticipated) since it is a firm pillow that puts her above our bodies in the bed. I want her higher than us so she has the easiest access to oxygen and isn't rebreathing her CO2. In addition, I always make sure that I turn my face away from her while we are sleeping so I don't breathe CO2 onto her. Propping her up also prevents us from rolling over onto her. I am hoping that she will soon learn to sleep in the swing (we try again every couple of nights to see if her preferences have changed), but until then I'm just going to enjoy cuddling with my daughter.
3. Avoiding allergens in my diet: I've been told by several people that Gwen may be fussy because of the food that I am eating. I don't think so. I think she just fusses sometimes. Why? Because I don't really ever change my diet and sometimes she fusses and sometimes she doesn't. However, I should probably watch eating certain foods like peanuts since nut allergies run in my family. I just love peanut butter and nuts so much! Plus, nuts are healthy. I googled "Foods to avoid while breastfeeding" and an article with 18 foods to avoid came up in the search results explaining why each food should be avoided. The problem, however, was that it wasn't 18 foods, but rather 18 food groups. It said I should avoid nuts, citrus, cruciferous veggies, dairy, soy, wheat...I realized that if I followed the advice of this article that I would no longer be able to eat anything. So I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just going to eat what I want and try to eat a healthy varied diet, and not drive myself crazy. I'm going to hope she doesn't get allergies, but if she does I will cross that bridge when it comes.
4. Convenience items: I am going to use cloth diapers and cloth baby wipes. The problem is that my baby only weighs somewhere between 6 and 7 pounds (we will find out her weight at her one month appointment tomorrow). One-size cloth diapers don't fit until the baby is about 10 pounds. We are going to try small G-diapers, but they won't fit until she is 8 pounds. There are newborn cloth diapers, but financially they don't make sense (she has so many wet and dirty diapers throughout the day at this point that we would have to buy a ton of cloth diapers in the newborn size and then she would outgrow them in a couple of months, and newborn cloth diapers are almost as expensive as one-size). So we are contributing to landfills by filling a trashbag with disposable diapers ever other day. Since I am using disposable diapers, I have also been using disposable wipes. Why? After I use a wipe, I naturally just stuff it into the diaper. If I am using disposable diapers, I stuff disposable wipes in the diaper and can throw the whole thing away. When I use cloth diapers, I will use cloth wipes and will just throw the whole thing into the washing machine. I've been using some other disposable products like face wipes and pacifier wipes. I don't use these products at home, but I've found that the convenience of these items is worth it when I am out and about. Babies are hard enough to raise that I should just accept that we have convenience products to make my life easier. While I will try to limit my environmental impact as much as possible, I am also not going to overcomplicate my life by swearing off all convenience items.
Gwen seems happy and healthy, and I know she is showered with love, so I'm not going to sweat that I have broken these "rules." I'm just going to keep on doing what I'm doing and accept that raising a baby requires flexibility.
1. Pacifiers: I have heard of nipple confusion, and since breastfeeding was so important to me, I had an idea that I would not give my child a pacifier. However, she had a pacifier her first day of life. Not the pacifier that they are given in the hospital to suck on when they are getting shots and heel sticks. This is a pacifier that we brought from home. Why? Gwen was biting me with every single suck while she was breastfeeding. Her jaw was too tight and her tongue was positioned incorrectly, and the only cure was for her to practice sucking. I very quickly became a believer in pacifiers when I saw that when other things wouldn't calm my tiny little baby, she was always willing to suck on a pacifier and became much calmer. I have learned that pacifiers can be good. For one thing, they are recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics, since their use at bedtime and during naps can reduce the risk of SIDS. Secondly, Gwen has been a little fuss monster for the past hour, and the only way that Simba and I have gotten any peace from her screaming has been when we put the "plug" in her mouth (this is the term that my mother-in-law uses for pacifiers). Finally, I have been reading a book called the Happiest Baby on the Block and think that the author, an M.D. who has spent his career studying colic, is really onto something. He believes that colic is caused because of a missing 4th trimester. Babies have to be born after 9 months or their heads would be too large to fit through the birth canal. Yet they are unable to handle the emotions of being alive until after 3 months of life (the doctor explains his theory much better than I do). In order to get rid of colic, therefore, you need to make them feel like they are still in the womb. You can do his by swaddling, bouncing, and sucking. Gwen is a little drama queen who goes from sleeping to crying at the drop of a hat, and often the only way we can get her to chill out is by creating this womb like environment. It is natural and comforting for babies to suck, so why would I deny her that?
2. Co-sleeping: I know that co-sleeping isn't as safe as baby sleeping in her own crib. In fact, I did tons of reading while I was pregnant to make sure that I created the safest sleep environment for our baby. However, she rejected her sleep environment immediately. I can't get her to sleep in her crib or her bassinet, and I can get her to sleep a maximum of about 1 hour if I put her in her swing or in a vibrating bouncy seat with a sound machine turned up so loud that I can't carry on a conversation with Keith. Needless to say, sleeping in 1 hour chunks is not good for you. Sleeping in 3 hour chunks is hard enough. I discovered that if we let Gwen sleep in our bed (either on my chest, or next to me with my arm around her), that she will sleep in 3 hour chunks with one 5-6 hour chunk at the beginning of the night. Co-sleeping makes me paranoid, however. If she sleeps on my chest, I stick pillows under either side of my body. These not only make it impossible for me to roll over, they also provide me convenient arm props so I can rest my arms on the pillows and hold Gwen comfortably. If she lays beside me on the bed, I place her on top of my maternity body pillow (I'm getting much more use out of it than I ever anticipated) since it is a firm pillow that puts her above our bodies in the bed. I want her higher than us so she has the easiest access to oxygen and isn't rebreathing her CO2. In addition, I always make sure that I turn my face away from her while we are sleeping so I don't breathe CO2 onto her. Propping her up also prevents us from rolling over onto her. I am hoping that she will soon learn to sleep in the swing (we try again every couple of nights to see if her preferences have changed), but until then I'm just going to enjoy cuddling with my daughter.
3. Avoiding allergens in my diet: I've been told by several people that Gwen may be fussy because of the food that I am eating. I don't think so. I think she just fusses sometimes. Why? Because I don't really ever change my diet and sometimes she fusses and sometimes she doesn't. However, I should probably watch eating certain foods like peanuts since nut allergies run in my family. I just love peanut butter and nuts so much! Plus, nuts are healthy. I googled "Foods to avoid while breastfeeding" and an article with 18 foods to avoid came up in the search results explaining why each food should be avoided. The problem, however, was that it wasn't 18 foods, but rather 18 food groups. It said I should avoid nuts, citrus, cruciferous veggies, dairy, soy, wheat...I realized that if I followed the advice of this article that I would no longer be able to eat anything. So I'm not going to worry about it. I'm just going to eat what I want and try to eat a healthy varied diet, and not drive myself crazy. I'm going to hope she doesn't get allergies, but if she does I will cross that bridge when it comes.
4. Convenience items: I am going to use cloth diapers and cloth baby wipes. The problem is that my baby only weighs somewhere between 6 and 7 pounds (we will find out her weight at her one month appointment tomorrow). One-size cloth diapers don't fit until the baby is about 10 pounds. We are going to try small G-diapers, but they won't fit until she is 8 pounds. There are newborn cloth diapers, but financially they don't make sense (she has so many wet and dirty diapers throughout the day at this point that we would have to buy a ton of cloth diapers in the newborn size and then she would outgrow them in a couple of months, and newborn cloth diapers are almost as expensive as one-size). So we are contributing to landfills by filling a trashbag with disposable diapers ever other day. Since I am using disposable diapers, I have also been using disposable wipes. Why? After I use a wipe, I naturally just stuff it into the diaper. If I am using disposable diapers, I stuff disposable wipes in the diaper and can throw the whole thing away. When I use cloth diapers, I will use cloth wipes and will just throw the whole thing into the washing machine. I've been using some other disposable products like face wipes and pacifier wipes. I don't use these products at home, but I've found that the convenience of these items is worth it when I am out and about. Babies are hard enough to raise that I should just accept that we have convenience products to make my life easier. While I will try to limit my environmental impact as much as possible, I am also not going to overcomplicate my life by swearing off all convenience items.
Gwen seems happy and healthy, and I know she is showered with love, so I'm not going to sweat that I have broken these "rules." I'm just going to keep on doing what I'm doing and accept that raising a baby requires flexibility.
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