I had a bad morning. When I woke up I thought it was going to be a good morning. Gwen had slept in until 6:15. Simba didn't stir until Gwen woke. So I got to "sleep in." But that was the high point.
I decided to check my email a little while after waking and found a cell phone bill. I just got my own cell phone, separate from my dad's plan, last month. After quite a bit of shopping I bought an iPhone 4 for $0.99, and chose a plan with 1 GB of data for $85 a month. I wasn't sure if 1 GB would be adequate for my needs, but I was hesitant to purchase a more expensive plan. When I signed in to my account I found a bill for $212. Yikes. I knew there was an overage charge of $15 per GB, but I didn't think I could have possibly used an extra 8GB of data. I called AT&T and spoke with a helpful customer service representative. The good news was that I had only used 445 megabytes of data. Way to go, me!!! The bad news was that my bill was, in fact, $212. Apparently cell phone plans are more complicated than I originally anticipated. I had an activation fee, a prorated bill for October, a bill for November, taxes, fees from the FCC, and a $1 911 fee. While my bills will be higher than I thought, when I subtract the extra month and activation fee, it will only be $105 a month. *sigh of relief*
As I was making this panicked phone call, I was on Keith's computer in his office and Gwen was playing on the floor next to me. I was trying to entertain her as well as possible given the brain power I was directing towards my phone bill and customer service. Gwen was pulling her toys off of the bookcase shelves and using her newly acquired toddling skills. As I was finishing my phone call, Gwen was playing in the doorway. She took a right down the hall. The only thing to the right was the staircase.
The stairs are about 6 inches from the doorway of Keith's office. I have a system to ensure that I close the gate and remembered closing it (I do a mental check each time we are upstairs and she wanders out of my line of sight) so I wasn't worried about finishing what I was doing before retrieving her. About 20 seconds after she left the office I followed her. My heart stopped. She had opened the gate and had one leg swung over the edge to go down the steps (note: she doesn't know how to go down steps without falling). When I swooped down to pick her up she was working on swinging her second leg over the edge.
When she was safely in my arms I closed the gate. Then I nearly vomited. Then I cried. Then I thought about what would have happened had I waited 5 more seconds to get her. Then I wanted to vomit again. She doesn't know how to go down the steps and was wearing her most slippery pair of footed pajamas on hardwood.
How did Gwen, an 11 month old, open the gate? While I, like all moms, believe my child is smart, I believe that opening gates is beyond her current abilities. She has been working diligently for the last few weeks on trying to figure the gate out, however. She stands at the gate and tries shaking each bar. With this method she determined which part of the gate is mobile and which part is immobile based on sound she is able to make at certain bars. Even with that knowledge I didn't think she could open it. After I calmed down and made a freaked out phone call to one of my friends to decompress a bit I got onto the floor to investigate the conditions that Gwen faced. Within a few seconds I figured out how she had accomplished this dangerous feat.
When Keith and his dad installed the gate, his dad commented that it was a piece of junk. I had done my research for weeks and knew it was one of the best gates on the market, so I brushed his comment aside. The reason he believed the gate to be junk is that it comes out of the box with a gap between the side of the gate and the door in the gate. If you install it correctly the gap disappears and all of the safety features are active. Keith and his dad installed the gate, but given the fact that our home is 70 years old and that the walls are nowhere near to being square, one of the safety features was not engaged. When the gate works properly, you have to slide a switch back with your thumb while lifting and pulling back. I have seen many adults struggle with coordinating these movements, so I was pretty confident that infants and toddlers would not be able to open it. However, the thumb latch was not blocking the gate from opening due to our non-square walls. All you had to do was lift and pull. You still had to put forth a decent amount of effort so I still believed it to be safe. I even called my friend Jessica after this incident and discovered that they have the same gate with the same fit problem and she had made the same assumptions about her daughter's abilities. (She is going to fiddle with their gate when she gets home tonight). When I got on the floor and pretended to be a determined, curious 11 month old, I was able to open the gate way too easily.
In all fairness to my parenting safety, I keep a close eye on Gwen. But when you are with a child that much you sometimes do things that take your eyes off of them for a few seconds at a time. And it seems it is those few seconds that children decide to get into shenanigans. Dangerous situations happen much more often when Gwen is under my watch than Keith's, but then again I am responsible for watching her 95% of the time and Keith watches her 5% of the time (because he is usually being a wonderful breadwinner which allows me to stay home with our daughter and put her in dangerous situations...in case my sense of humor is currently a bit too dark, that was a joke). Plus, I read an article last week that 50% of moms lie about how many sweets their child eats and how much screen time they get. I doubt these mothers would admit what I admitted in such a public way in this post. So while I sometimes worry that I practice irresponsible parenting, I know these things happen to everyone.
This whole experience changed my day in a few ways. First, I have been shopping both in stores and online all day to purchase a new gate, carpeting for the stairs, and other child safety items. Second, I have been evaluating my child's problem solving capabilities realizing that I have, perhaps, underestimated her. Third, I have been contemplating how precious and precarious life can be, how much I love my daughter, and how devestated I would be if anything ever happened to her. I will be spending the rest of my day giving her extra cuddles and hugging her extra tight.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
Pumping problems
When Gwen was first born and until she was 5 months old, I had an over active milk letdown. While this meant that she would often choke once every 30-60 seconds each time she ate and she learned to gulp her milk to keep up with the flow, it also meant that I was able to fill a bottle when pumping in 3 minutes flat. Sometimes I would fill a bottle before the letdown phase on my pump ended (2 minutes). I called a lactation consultant for solutions to Gwen choking while eating. She asked me how quickly the milk came out when I pumped. When I told her that I was able to get 5 ounces in about 2 minutes and she responded with "whoa!" I knew I had a bit of a feeding problem.
Right around the time that Gwen turned 6 months old my letdown slowed down. Thankfully my little monster stopped choking while eating. Unfortunately, she had grown accustomed to the quick speed of milk consumption and had partially corrected for it. When the milk slowed, Gwen was not a happy camper. She wanted her milk and she wanted it NOW!!!! My once frantic eater now had to wait patiently, a fact that did not make her happy. With each feeding, she would turn into a grunting, growling milk-eating monster until her thirst was slated. My mother-in-law, a former pediatric nurse, said she had never heard any baby react that way to breast feeding.
When my milk slowed I also noticed drastic changes in pumping. What once took 2 minutes was now taking 20. But Gwen didn't need bottles as much anymore so I eventually took a 3 month break from pumping, hoping that I wouldn't have to return to it until baby number 2.
After a few months, we had to put Gwen back on Zantac. This meant two bottles a day. I also was giving her Tylenol and Motrin with increased frequency due to pain from teething and diaper rash. Around the same time, Gwen also suffered from 2 ear infections requiring 2 antibiotics. The antibiotics gave her diarrhea, resulting in a need for her to take probiotics. All this meant that she needed quite a bit of expressed milk since she spits out medicine that we give her by syringe or dropper.
I am very thrifty with milk in bottles. I don't want to put her medicine in several ounces of milk because then you run into the problem of baby not finishing her dose of medicine. So I put all of her milk in 2 ounce portions to freeze and thaw one bag a day. Each time I give her a dose of medicine I give it in one ounce (about 30 ml) of milk. On a regular basis this results in a 32 ml bottle: 30 ml of milk and 2 ml of Zantac. This week she has been receiving a cocktail of medications: 3.5 ml augmentin, 4.25 ml Tylenol, 4.25 ml Motrin (note: if your baby is in serious pain, as Gwen currently is with her diaper rash, you can give both Tylenol and Motrin. Tylenol is metabolized by the liver and Motrin is metabolized by the kidneys. I only do this occasionally as I try to avoid giving Gwen unneeded medication. However, when she is suffering as she has been this week, I will give both at the same time), 2 ml Zantac, and 1 packet (250 mg) of Florastor Kids probiotics. If you do the math you will see that she is taking 15 ml of medication in 30 ml of milk. She has not been happy about the taste of her last few bottles. She will drink them, but it usually takes some coaxing, especially since florastor is yeast and so her bottle smells liked warm yeast.
Even though I am thrifty with my milk, I would go through it all in about 2 months if I stopped pumping completely. Gwen might need to be on Zantac for several more months, and I want to keep a small stockpile in case of babysitters, so I continue pumping.
Gwen, always the one with a strong opinion that she makes known, has taken to standing next to my chair, clawing at my leg, and crying bitterly each time I pump. She can be the happiest baby in the world, playing nicely on the floor just after eating, and she will abandon everything in order to protest my pumping. I've calmly explained that this is where all that milk comes from that she eats in her bottles, but this logic does not appease her. While Keith was home on vacation last week, I would have him play with her while I pumped. But she managed to weasel out of whatever game they were playing, crawl to mommy, and sob as her precious was pumped into a bottle. I don't know if she hates the fact that I am unable to play with her at that moment (a fact that was not important to her mere moments before as she played alone or with daddy) or if she is upset that I am stealing her milk. Since she was not daunted in her mission to complain by Keith's distractions, I am going to assume it is the latter. As you can imagine this is a little stressful, thus slowing milk collection even more.
Despite all of these problems, there is something that is addicting to me with pumping. It is a bit of a game: how much more milk can I pump each day than I use? How much can I stockpile? I just feel so accomplished each time that I am able to fill a bottle. I guess this is a better addiction than betting on the ponies.
Right around the time that Gwen turned 6 months old my letdown slowed down. Thankfully my little monster stopped choking while eating. Unfortunately, she had grown accustomed to the quick speed of milk consumption and had partially corrected for it. When the milk slowed, Gwen was not a happy camper. She wanted her milk and she wanted it NOW!!!! My once frantic eater now had to wait patiently, a fact that did not make her happy. With each feeding, she would turn into a grunting, growling milk-eating monster until her thirst was slated. My mother-in-law, a former pediatric nurse, said she had never heard any baby react that way to breast feeding.
When my milk slowed I also noticed drastic changes in pumping. What once took 2 minutes was now taking 20. But Gwen didn't need bottles as much anymore so I eventually took a 3 month break from pumping, hoping that I wouldn't have to return to it until baby number 2.
After a few months, we had to put Gwen back on Zantac. This meant two bottles a day. I also was giving her Tylenol and Motrin with increased frequency due to pain from teething and diaper rash. Around the same time, Gwen also suffered from 2 ear infections requiring 2 antibiotics. The antibiotics gave her diarrhea, resulting in a need for her to take probiotics. All this meant that she needed quite a bit of expressed milk since she spits out medicine that we give her by syringe or dropper.
I am very thrifty with milk in bottles. I don't want to put her medicine in several ounces of milk because then you run into the problem of baby not finishing her dose of medicine. So I put all of her milk in 2 ounce portions to freeze and thaw one bag a day. Each time I give her a dose of medicine I give it in one ounce (about 30 ml) of milk. On a regular basis this results in a 32 ml bottle: 30 ml of milk and 2 ml of Zantac. This week she has been receiving a cocktail of medications: 3.5 ml augmentin, 4.25 ml Tylenol, 4.25 ml Motrin (note: if your baby is in serious pain, as Gwen currently is with her diaper rash, you can give both Tylenol and Motrin. Tylenol is metabolized by the liver and Motrin is metabolized by the kidneys. I only do this occasionally as I try to avoid giving Gwen unneeded medication. However, when she is suffering as she has been this week, I will give both at the same time), 2 ml Zantac, and 1 packet (250 mg) of Florastor Kids probiotics. If you do the math you will see that she is taking 15 ml of medication in 30 ml of milk. She has not been happy about the taste of her last few bottles. She will drink them, but it usually takes some coaxing, especially since florastor is yeast and so her bottle smells liked warm yeast.
Even though I am thrifty with my milk, I would go through it all in about 2 months if I stopped pumping completely. Gwen might need to be on Zantac for several more months, and I want to keep a small stockpile in case of babysitters, so I continue pumping.
Gwen, always the one with a strong opinion that she makes known, has taken to standing next to my chair, clawing at my leg, and crying bitterly each time I pump. She can be the happiest baby in the world, playing nicely on the floor just after eating, and she will abandon everything in order to protest my pumping. I've calmly explained that this is where all that milk comes from that she eats in her bottles, but this logic does not appease her. While Keith was home on vacation last week, I would have him play with her while I pumped. But she managed to weasel out of whatever game they were playing, crawl to mommy, and sob as her precious was pumped into a bottle. I don't know if she hates the fact that I am unable to play with her at that moment (a fact that was not important to her mere moments before as she played alone or with daddy) or if she is upset that I am stealing her milk. Since she was not daunted in her mission to complain by Keith's distractions, I am going to assume it is the latter. As you can imagine this is a little stressful, thus slowing milk collection even more.
Despite all of these problems, there is something that is addicting to me with pumping. It is a bit of a game: how much more milk can I pump each day than I use? How much can I stockpile? I just feel so accomplished each time that I am able to fill a bottle. I guess this is a better addiction than betting on the ponies.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
The Babe Who Cried Wolf (or just plain cried)
Once upon a time, there was a little baby girl named Gwen. She would cry day and night. If she bumped her head, she cried. If she was hungry, she cried. If she had a dirty diaper, she cried. And these reasons for crying were all well and good. But sometimes she would cry for lesser reasons. In fact, she would cry about things that were not worthy of being cried over. She would cry if she wanted to play in the refrigerator and mommy closed the refrigerator door. She would cry if her poodle licked her in the face, even if it had made her laugh just seconds before. She would cry if her mommy set her down so she could use the bathroom. She would cry all of the time. And little Gwen wanted to make sure that all the people around her knew just how upset she was. So she would cry loudly. And she would cry long. Tears would stream down her face. And she would get laryngitis. She was driving her mommy crazy.
Gwen's mommy had taken her to see the doctor many times. She would have felt absolutely awful if Gwen's crying were due to an unnoticed sickness, so on days where Gwen seemed especially crabby, mommy would call up the doctor for a sick appointment. The doctor started to think Gwen's mom was absolutely crazy. Gwen's mommy even took her to the urgent care twice because she was worried about undiagnosed ear infections and UTIs. But the tests always came back negative and Gwen and her mommy were always sent home with the same message: "Sometimes babies are just extra cranky." And boy, was Gwen cranky.
Right before Gwen got her first tooth, Gwen's mommy took her to the doctor again. She was pretty sure that this was teething crankiness, but the only way to be sure was with a trip to the pediatrician. The doctor did a full examination to discover that there was absolutely nothing wrong with little Gwen. She didn't even have any teeth that were ready to pop through. 9 days later, however, she did get her first tooth, so her mommy gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Over the next 7 days she stayed as cranky and irritable as ever. She woke her mommy up at least 5 times a night and woke her up to start the day at 4:30 every day. Gwen's mommy was used to this behavior, however, and took things in stride. But then Gwen had her regular check-up at the doctor's office. When the doctor looked in her ear she said, "Oh! She has an ear infection! Has she been pulling on her ears or crankier than usual?" The answer was no. She had been her usual level of crankiness.
So what is the moral of the story? If you are always cranky and show no other symptoms of illness, mommy has no way to know if you are sick.
Gwen's mommy had taken her to see the doctor many times. She would have felt absolutely awful if Gwen's crying were due to an unnoticed sickness, so on days where Gwen seemed especially crabby, mommy would call up the doctor for a sick appointment. The doctor started to think Gwen's mom was absolutely crazy. Gwen's mommy even took her to the urgent care twice because she was worried about undiagnosed ear infections and UTIs. But the tests always came back negative and Gwen and her mommy were always sent home with the same message: "Sometimes babies are just extra cranky." And boy, was Gwen cranky.
Right before Gwen got her first tooth, Gwen's mommy took her to the doctor again. She was pretty sure that this was teething crankiness, but the only way to be sure was with a trip to the pediatrician. The doctor did a full examination to discover that there was absolutely nothing wrong with little Gwen. She didn't even have any teeth that were ready to pop through. 9 days later, however, she did get her first tooth, so her mommy gave her the benefit of the doubt.
Over the next 7 days she stayed as cranky and irritable as ever. She woke her mommy up at least 5 times a night and woke her up to start the day at 4:30 every day. Gwen's mommy was used to this behavior, however, and took things in stride. But then Gwen had her regular check-up at the doctor's office. When the doctor looked in her ear she said, "Oh! She has an ear infection! Has she been pulling on her ears or crankier than usual?" The answer was no. She had been her usual level of crankiness.
So what is the moral of the story? If you are always cranky and show no other symptoms of illness, mommy has no way to know if you are sick.
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Sleeping With The Enemy
Okay, so Gwen is not exactly my enemy. But she is an enemy to sleep. I don't know why she hates sleep so much. She tends to be a much happier baby when she gets adequate sleep. But she fights it with all her might.
An example: She was sick on Saturday night. She rolled back and forth crying almost the entire night. I gave her Tylenol because she had a fever, and we were able to grab a few hours of sleep. But most of the night was spent in misery. But on Sunday something magical happened. First, Gwen took a 3 hour nap. Then, later in the day, Gwen took a 2 hour nap. That's 5 hours of naps (Note: it's not as simple as it sounds. The only way she was willing to nap was if I laid down with her and fed her every 45 minutes while she slept; otherwise she would only sleep about 30-45 minutes total and would wake up from her nap a little monster). It was amazing. But she didn't wake up from her last nap until 5:30 and she generally melts down if we try to put her to bed 1 minute past 7. So I had planned on putting her to bed at her normal bedtime (she has, in the past, woken up from her second nap at 6 and gone to bed at 7). But she seemed happy, and she wasn't rubbing her eyes, so I thought I would just wait it out. She didn't start giving tired signals until 7:30 and didn't fall asleep until 8. I was hoping this would translate into a wake-up time of 5:30 or 6, since she had gone to sleep an hour later (normal wake-up is at about 4:30), but she woke up at 5. After about 40 minutes of continual nursing and laying her back down every time she tried to stand up I got her to go back to sleep...for 35 minutes. Not exactly a victory. 3 hours later she took an hour and fifteen minute nap. I thought I would try for nap 2 at 3pm, but she wasn't tired yet. I knew she needed another nap if she was going to make it until 8 pm again, but I don't think she had any intention of making it until 8. At 5pm she decided it was time for what I thought was nap number 2. But, alas, it was not. Apparently Gwen was under the impression that she was going to bed for the night. She is only 10 months old but is determined to drop her second nap and to only take 1 nap a day. Most babies don't do this until about 15 months. I think she just wants to knock her sleep out in as few sittings as possible. I thought she was taking her second nap, so after 2 hours I woke her up. It was 7pm. She screamed the rest of the evening until I put her in bed at 8:30. And then she was awake at 5:00. And then she spent the entire morning in a horrible mood. So maybe I should have let her sleep straight through from 5 pm. My only fear is that our new wake-up time will be 2am instead of 4:30, but if she tries that tonight I am going to risk it because it can't go much worse than it did this morning (and Keith will be home from his conference tonight and has agreed to wake up when she does tomorrow, so I get to sleep in anyway).
All this to say, I'm tired. So if I drop the ball on something, please forgive me. If I seem cranky or cynical or like I am complaining quite a bit in this little online world or in person, I probably am. I know that all babies are enemies of sleep (with a few notable exceptions, and if you have been blessed with one of those exceptions be thankful, but understand that while I am happy for you I am also secretly a little jealous), and I don't want to diminish anyone else's experience (I am aware that I have a healthy baby and some people don't, and for her health I am thankful, and that is not what I am talking about here). But, from what I understand, Gwen is a baby in her own stratosphere. My mother-in-law, a former pediatric nurse, told me she has never met such a cranky baby who hates sleep quite this much. I'm glad that I get this feedback from time to time because, Gwen being our first, we don't know if this is what people meant when they said, "babies are hard," or if Gwen really is harder than most babies. Because if all babies are this hard, maybe we don't want to have any more (maybe this is Gwen's master plan to be an only child so she never has to share her toys or her ice cream).
I will close with a recent conversation that we had with a soon-to-be father. People were telling him what to expect when the baby was born. As we had the youngest baby of anyone at the table, naturally, he turned to us for the most recent experience with an infant. We told him about Gwen's sleep and crying habits, and he appeared to pale and break out in a cold sweat. Keith backtracked, so as not to panic the father-to-be, and said, "But don't worry too much. Gwen is pretty much the worst example of a baby, ever." That seemed to make him feel better. And while I wish she were easier, we manage. I think any parent rises to whatever challenges their baby presents them.
An example: She was sick on Saturday night. She rolled back and forth crying almost the entire night. I gave her Tylenol because she had a fever, and we were able to grab a few hours of sleep. But most of the night was spent in misery. But on Sunday something magical happened. First, Gwen took a 3 hour nap. Then, later in the day, Gwen took a 2 hour nap. That's 5 hours of naps (Note: it's not as simple as it sounds. The only way she was willing to nap was if I laid down with her and fed her every 45 minutes while she slept; otherwise she would only sleep about 30-45 minutes total and would wake up from her nap a little monster). It was amazing. But she didn't wake up from her last nap until 5:30 and she generally melts down if we try to put her to bed 1 minute past 7. So I had planned on putting her to bed at her normal bedtime (she has, in the past, woken up from her second nap at 6 and gone to bed at 7). But she seemed happy, and she wasn't rubbing her eyes, so I thought I would just wait it out. She didn't start giving tired signals until 7:30 and didn't fall asleep until 8. I was hoping this would translate into a wake-up time of 5:30 or 6, since she had gone to sleep an hour later (normal wake-up is at about 4:30), but she woke up at 5. After about 40 minutes of continual nursing and laying her back down every time she tried to stand up I got her to go back to sleep...for 35 minutes. Not exactly a victory. 3 hours later she took an hour and fifteen minute nap. I thought I would try for nap 2 at 3pm, but she wasn't tired yet. I knew she needed another nap if she was going to make it until 8 pm again, but I don't think she had any intention of making it until 8. At 5pm she decided it was time for what I thought was nap number 2. But, alas, it was not. Apparently Gwen was under the impression that she was going to bed for the night. She is only 10 months old but is determined to drop her second nap and to only take 1 nap a day. Most babies don't do this until about 15 months. I think she just wants to knock her sleep out in as few sittings as possible. I thought she was taking her second nap, so after 2 hours I woke her up. It was 7pm. She screamed the rest of the evening until I put her in bed at 8:30. And then she was awake at 5:00. And then she spent the entire morning in a horrible mood. So maybe I should have let her sleep straight through from 5 pm. My only fear is that our new wake-up time will be 2am instead of 4:30, but if she tries that tonight I am going to risk it because it can't go much worse than it did this morning (and Keith will be home from his conference tonight and has agreed to wake up when she does tomorrow, so I get to sleep in anyway).
All this to say, I'm tired. So if I drop the ball on something, please forgive me. If I seem cranky or cynical or like I am complaining quite a bit in this little online world or in person, I probably am. I know that all babies are enemies of sleep (with a few notable exceptions, and if you have been blessed with one of those exceptions be thankful, but understand that while I am happy for you I am also secretly a little jealous), and I don't want to diminish anyone else's experience (I am aware that I have a healthy baby and some people don't, and for her health I am thankful, and that is not what I am talking about here). But, from what I understand, Gwen is a baby in her own stratosphere. My mother-in-law, a former pediatric nurse, told me she has never met such a cranky baby who hates sleep quite this much. I'm glad that I get this feedback from time to time because, Gwen being our first, we don't know if this is what people meant when they said, "babies are hard," or if Gwen really is harder than most babies. Because if all babies are this hard, maybe we don't want to have any more (maybe this is Gwen's master plan to be an only child so she never has to share her toys or her ice cream).
I will close with a recent conversation that we had with a soon-to-be father. People were telling him what to expect when the baby was born. As we had the youngest baby of anyone at the table, naturally, he turned to us for the most recent experience with an infant. We told him about Gwen's sleep and crying habits, and he appeared to pale and break out in a cold sweat. Keith backtracked, so as not to panic the father-to-be, and said, "But don't worry too much. Gwen is pretty much the worst example of a baby, ever." That seemed to make him feel better. And while I wish she were easier, we manage. I think any parent rises to whatever challenges their baby presents them.
Friday, October 12, 2012
TV for Toddlers: To Watch or Not To Watch
If you have been following my blog for a long time, you might remember during my pregnancy that I wrote a post questioning if we would watch TV in our household after our baby was born. I didn't want to expose Gwen to the constantly degrading quality of television that is being broadcast. I seem, however, to have changed my tune in the last couple of months. No - I don't want her to watch questionable television, but I no longer have a problem with her watching television.
Gwen is horrendously difficult to entertain. I have had several people tell me that she requires much more attention and entertainment than most babies. She is unhappy playing by herself unless you are watching her play by herself. Usually she won't play by herself at all. So it created problems in the mornings when I would have to do things like take Simba out so he could pee. While I will usually put Gwen before Simba, I think it is cruel to refuse him the chance to pee. Here's how our mornings would go. Gwen would wake up entirely too early. I would get up and change her diaper. I would take her with me and set her on the floor of the bathroom to play while I peed. Then we would go downstairs. I would put her in the middle of the living room surrounded by dozens of toys. I would take Simba outside. Gwen would hold onto the child gate that blocks her from the foyer, screaming at the top of her lungs for the entire duration of Simba's potty break. Gwen would be emotionally destroyed for the rest of the morning.
This repeated daily until a new friend told us about the show Yo Gabba Gabba. Frankly, I have a love-hate relationship with Yo Gabba Gabba. It looks like the writers take a hit of acid (do you take acid in hits? I don't really know drug lingo) before each writing session. But I love it for it's magical ability to entertain Gwen. I now place her in the living room in the morning and turn on an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba. As soon as the music starts, she is mesmerized. I take Simba out without incident, and we all have a much happier morning.
I have tried showing Gwen other kids' TV shows, and they apparently all pale in comparison to Yo Gabba Gabba (of course, I think anything would pale in comparison to Yo Gabba Gabba). I don't know what magical combination they have created in this show, but it keeps her happy so it keeps me happy.
I was talking to several moms at a play date on Thursday. They all willingly use their TVs as babysitters, albeit in small quantities. One mom said, "I know the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends against kids watching any TV, but that's not really realistic for us." Most of these moms would put their babies in front of the TV for one episode in order to be able to cook dinner during a normal melt down time of day. It was their saving grace during a usually volatile time. And this got me thinking that TV isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I'm not under the delusion that Gwen will watch these TV shows and be smarter for it. I have seen the articles about how babies who watch Baby Einstein DVDs are behind their peers who watch no TV. I don't expect her to learn from TV. I expect her to be entertained so I can get a few things done without a baby holding onto my pant leg and crying. Because let's face it - constant learning all day long is not everything. I think that Gwen and I both will be better served with her taking 23 minutes hanging out with DJ Lance Rock (the host of Yo Gabba Gabba) so I can prepare a meal that will fill our bellies with healthy food rather than processed junk than we would be if I spent that time sitting with her and her shape sorter naming colors and shapes.
So I'm going to stop putting so much pressure on myself to try to teach her all the time. Sometimes we will be tired, and then it is okay to rest even in front of the TV. And sometimes it is okay to just play and be entertained with no ulterior educational motive.
Gwen is horrendously difficult to entertain. I have had several people tell me that she requires much more attention and entertainment than most babies. She is unhappy playing by herself unless you are watching her play by herself. Usually she won't play by herself at all. So it created problems in the mornings when I would have to do things like take Simba out so he could pee. While I will usually put Gwen before Simba, I think it is cruel to refuse him the chance to pee. Here's how our mornings would go. Gwen would wake up entirely too early. I would get up and change her diaper. I would take her with me and set her on the floor of the bathroom to play while I peed. Then we would go downstairs. I would put her in the middle of the living room surrounded by dozens of toys. I would take Simba outside. Gwen would hold onto the child gate that blocks her from the foyer, screaming at the top of her lungs for the entire duration of Simba's potty break. Gwen would be emotionally destroyed for the rest of the morning.
This repeated daily until a new friend told us about the show Yo Gabba Gabba. Frankly, I have a love-hate relationship with Yo Gabba Gabba. It looks like the writers take a hit of acid (do you take acid in hits? I don't really know drug lingo) before each writing session. But I love it for it's magical ability to entertain Gwen. I now place her in the living room in the morning and turn on an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba. As soon as the music starts, she is mesmerized. I take Simba out without incident, and we all have a much happier morning.
I have tried showing Gwen other kids' TV shows, and they apparently all pale in comparison to Yo Gabba Gabba (of course, I think anything would pale in comparison to Yo Gabba Gabba). I don't know what magical combination they have created in this show, but it keeps her happy so it keeps me happy.
I was talking to several moms at a play date on Thursday. They all willingly use their TVs as babysitters, albeit in small quantities. One mom said, "I know the AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) recommends against kids watching any TV, but that's not really realistic for us." Most of these moms would put their babies in front of the TV for one episode in order to be able to cook dinner during a normal melt down time of day. It was their saving grace during a usually volatile time. And this got me thinking that TV isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I'm not under the delusion that Gwen will watch these TV shows and be smarter for it. I have seen the articles about how babies who watch Baby Einstein DVDs are behind their peers who watch no TV. I don't expect her to learn from TV. I expect her to be entertained so I can get a few things done without a baby holding onto my pant leg and crying. Because let's face it - constant learning all day long is not everything. I think that Gwen and I both will be better served with her taking 23 minutes hanging out with DJ Lance Rock (the host of Yo Gabba Gabba) so I can prepare a meal that will fill our bellies with healthy food rather than processed junk than we would be if I spent that time sitting with her and her shape sorter naming colors and shapes.
So I'm going to stop putting so much pressure on myself to try to teach her all the time. Sometimes we will be tired, and then it is okay to rest even in front of the TV. And sometimes it is okay to just play and be entertained with no ulterior educational motive.
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
When the Poop Hits the Fan (or Exits the Diaper)
We had quite the day today. It all started when Gwen woke up at 4:30. I thought this was entirely too early. She thought it was just right. She won. So a groggy mommy, and a happy, babbling baby got up and went downstairs. I should have known that the early wake-up was a sign of things to come.
I figured I should at least make my morning productive, so I found the Little Green Machine furniture and carpet cleaner and went to work at removing several food finger prints that Gwen has worked on depositing over the last several weeks. Sara and Jason - thank you for having the foresight to buy us a Little Green Machine. Our furniture thanks you, as we did not have the foresight to scotch guard.
I was not going to let our early wake-up get me down. I took a nap with Gwen, and then I decided I was going to dress her in an adorable outfit. I put her in a onesie that has a ghost on the front and says, "It's not easy being this..." on the front and "boo-ty-ful" on the bottom. I put her in purple and green striped halloween shorts to complete the ensemble - I didn't want to put pants on her and ruin the punch line of her onesie. I felt pretty confident that she was going to be one of the best dressed babies at story hour at the library.
Gwen was super fussy, so I figured we would go to the library 30 minutes early and wander the stacks until it was time for Book Babies. On the way to the library she was screaming (when we got to the library, I discovered that the tooth that has been on the verge of emerging victoriously from her gums since Sunday had finally popped through).
When we got to the library I figured I should check her diaper - she has had quite the habit lately of pooping every time we get into the car. I did a quick sniff of her bottom, didn't smell anything, and slipped Gwen between the baby sling and my body when...squish! I felt something warm and wet against the front of my body.
I asked the librarian for the closest bathroom and discovered there was no changing table. I was not going to change her on the bathroom floor, so I decided, since there was no changing table, that it was socially acceptable to change her diaper just outside of the bathroom door in the stacks. It wasn't a busy part of the library, so I figured I would disturb anyone.
Gwen, however, has developed a nasty habit recently of screaming every time I change her diaper. I set her down on the changing pad, and not wanting to disappoint, she started screaming immediately. I assessed the damage of her diaper blow-out and realized it has squished through her tights and onto her onesie. I stripped off her tights and realized things were much worse than I had originally thought and that the poop had traveled out of her diaper and had been contained by her tights and gone down her legs. We were in the stacks and she was screaming and covered in poop.
After about 5 minutes I had managed to clean up all of the poo, put a new diaper on her, and dress her in her emergency clothes. Unfortunately, when she got bigger, I didn't swap out her emergency clothes and her pants only went halfway up her bottom. But she was clean and clothed and I was happy. I packed up her diaper bag, removed a book from her mouth that she had obtained while I was packing her diaper bag and went into the bathroom to wash my hands when...
...I looked in the mirror and discovered I had poop juice down the front of my shirt (poop juice is the non-solid poop that leaks out of diaper and onto onesies, thus leaving stains that can last forever). Apparently it had transferred to me when I was carrying her into the library. After all of this, I was going to have to go home. No!!! I had come to far!!! I came up with a plan. I turned my t-shirt around backwards (the front and the back were, thankfully, the same) and put a cardigan on over my t-shirt (I did all of this change one-armed since I was holding Gwen with my other arm). Poop covered, check.
We went to Book Babies, and after all of my desperate attempts to get her there for a fun hour, she fussed and squirmed to escape from my grasp and had almost no fun, for I was too worried that I would have to retrieve her, my cardigan would ride up, and the jig would be up.
I figured I should at least make my morning productive, so I found the Little Green Machine furniture and carpet cleaner and went to work at removing several food finger prints that Gwen has worked on depositing over the last several weeks. Sara and Jason - thank you for having the foresight to buy us a Little Green Machine. Our furniture thanks you, as we did not have the foresight to scotch guard.
I was not going to let our early wake-up get me down. I took a nap with Gwen, and then I decided I was going to dress her in an adorable outfit. I put her in a onesie that has a ghost on the front and says, "It's not easy being this..." on the front and "boo-ty-ful" on the bottom. I put her in purple and green striped halloween shorts to complete the ensemble - I didn't want to put pants on her and ruin the punch line of her onesie. I felt pretty confident that she was going to be one of the best dressed babies at story hour at the library.
Gwen was super fussy, so I figured we would go to the library 30 minutes early and wander the stacks until it was time for Book Babies. On the way to the library she was screaming (when we got to the library, I discovered that the tooth that has been on the verge of emerging victoriously from her gums since Sunday had finally popped through).
When we got to the library I figured I should check her diaper - she has had quite the habit lately of pooping every time we get into the car. I did a quick sniff of her bottom, didn't smell anything, and slipped Gwen between the baby sling and my body when...squish! I felt something warm and wet against the front of my body.
I asked the librarian for the closest bathroom and discovered there was no changing table. I was not going to change her on the bathroom floor, so I decided, since there was no changing table, that it was socially acceptable to change her diaper just outside of the bathroom door in the stacks. It wasn't a busy part of the library, so I figured I would disturb anyone.
Gwen, however, has developed a nasty habit recently of screaming every time I change her diaper. I set her down on the changing pad, and not wanting to disappoint, she started screaming immediately. I assessed the damage of her diaper blow-out and realized it has squished through her tights and onto her onesie. I stripped off her tights and realized things were much worse than I had originally thought and that the poop had traveled out of her diaper and had been contained by her tights and gone down her legs. We were in the stacks and she was screaming and covered in poop.
After about 5 minutes I had managed to clean up all of the poo, put a new diaper on her, and dress her in her emergency clothes. Unfortunately, when she got bigger, I didn't swap out her emergency clothes and her pants only went halfway up her bottom. But she was clean and clothed and I was happy. I packed up her diaper bag, removed a book from her mouth that she had obtained while I was packing her diaper bag and went into the bathroom to wash my hands when...
...I looked in the mirror and discovered I had poop juice down the front of my shirt (poop juice is the non-solid poop that leaks out of diaper and onto onesies, thus leaving stains that can last forever). Apparently it had transferred to me when I was carrying her into the library. After all of this, I was going to have to go home. No!!! I had come to far!!! I came up with a plan. I turned my t-shirt around backwards (the front and the back were, thankfully, the same) and put a cardigan on over my t-shirt (I did all of this change one-armed since I was holding Gwen with my other arm). Poop covered, check.
We went to Book Babies, and after all of my desperate attempts to get her there for a fun hour, she fussed and squirmed to escape from my grasp and had almost no fun, for I was too worried that I would have to retrieve her, my cardigan would ride up, and the jig would be up.
Monday, October 1, 2012
Meeting Milestones
I think that Gwen is the most fun she has ever been. She is 9 months old and she can do so much now! Here are some of her newly acquired skills:
1. Knows where mommy's nose is located: She is not a conventional baby, however. I say, "Where's mommy's nose?" and she does one of two things. She either slaps me in the nose or (her preferred method) she bites me on the nose. Thankfully she doesn't have teeth. I sadly have only encouraged this behavior because I laugh every time she does it (she giggles like a crazy person). I may not be laughing when her teeth finally come through though.
2. Says "Mama" and knows who that is: She knows her first word!!!! And it's mama!!!! Unfortunately, she usually only says it when she is sad or angry. But she says it to me because she wants me. For a while she just made the sound, but now she says it because she knows that it is me and that I will come to her if she says it.
3. Walks with a walker and tries to stand: Gwen got her first taste of walking freedom on Friday night. She had been forced to only walk along furniture and walls for far too long. I bought her a walker (Keith looked at it and said, "This literally looks like a walker that a grandma would use." http://www.amazon.com/VTech-80-077000-Vtech-Sit-to-Stand-Learning/dp/B000NZQ010/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1349135212&sr=1-1&keywords=walker), she took off across the open floor and never looked back. She loved it! And within an hour she was attempting to let go of the furniture and stand on her own.
4. Feeding mommy: I guess she wants to feed mommy in the same way that mommy has been feeding her. She hasn't been interested in eating solids since she started teething. The only way that I have been able to get her to eat anything (other than breastmilk) is by putting the food directly in her mouth (if I put it in her hand she throws it on the floor to the dog). She has been handing me her toys lately, with the understanding that I will immediately hand the toy back to her, at which point she will decide if she wants to hand the toy back to me or keep it for herself. But the last couple of nights, I have handed her pieces of food and she has reached up and put them into my mouth. She seems super proud of herself when she feeds me.
5. Sharing toys with Simba: In the same way she has been handing me things, she has started handing her toys to Simba, probably in hopes that he will play with her. Sadly, he either ignores her, or takes the toy, and, unlike mommy, does not give the toy back, but rather carries it out through his doggy door to the three season room that is his refuge. I watched her drop a shaker egg in front of him about 15 or 20 times yesterday, trying to get him to pick it up.
6. Initiates Peek-A-Boo: Gwen loves Peek-A-Boo. If you are a stranger and she doesn't like you, all you have to do to get on her good side is play a lively game of peek-a-boo. It is a mind-numbingly boring game, but she loves it so very much. At least the game is entertaining to me when she starts giggling. I used to have to do all of the hiding in peek-a-boo. I would either cover my face, or hide around a corner or behind a shower curtain, and Gwen would come find me. Now she grabs a blanket and holds it over her own face to start up a round of peek-a-boo. I'm surprised to discover she has a good deal of patience when covering her face. She will hide behind the blanket for 2-3 seconds before uncovering it. I don't even have that much patience for hiding.
7. Signs: I have been working on baby signs with Gwen, on and off, since she was about 4 or 5 months old. I forget sometimes that I am supposed to be teaching her sign language, so it has been kind of inconsistent. But she learned the sign for "more." Well, kind of. I think she thinks it means "want." She does it now when she wants to be breastfed. I guess it makes sense since that is her favorite thing.
8. Tongue clicking and raspberries: If you do a raspberry or a tongue click, she will do the same. I switch back and forth between the two and she follows right along!
So she is growing leaps and bounds. It is so much fun to watch.
1. Knows where mommy's nose is located: She is not a conventional baby, however. I say, "Where's mommy's nose?" and she does one of two things. She either slaps me in the nose or (her preferred method) she bites me on the nose. Thankfully she doesn't have teeth. I sadly have only encouraged this behavior because I laugh every time she does it (she giggles like a crazy person). I may not be laughing when her teeth finally come through though.
2. Says "Mama" and knows who that is: She knows her first word!!!! And it's mama!!!! Unfortunately, she usually only says it when she is sad or angry. But she says it to me because she wants me. For a while she just made the sound, but now she says it because she knows that it is me and that I will come to her if she says it.
3. Walks with a walker and tries to stand: Gwen got her first taste of walking freedom on Friday night. She had been forced to only walk along furniture and walls for far too long. I bought her a walker (Keith looked at it and said, "This literally looks like a walker that a grandma would use." http://www.amazon.com/VTech-80-077000-Vtech-Sit-to-Stand-Learning/dp/B000NZQ010/ref=sr_1_1?s=toys-and-games&ie=UTF8&qid=1349135212&sr=1-1&keywords=walker), she took off across the open floor and never looked back. She loved it! And within an hour she was attempting to let go of the furniture and stand on her own.
4. Feeding mommy: I guess she wants to feed mommy in the same way that mommy has been feeding her. She hasn't been interested in eating solids since she started teething. The only way that I have been able to get her to eat anything (other than breastmilk) is by putting the food directly in her mouth (if I put it in her hand she throws it on the floor to the dog). She has been handing me her toys lately, with the understanding that I will immediately hand the toy back to her, at which point she will decide if she wants to hand the toy back to me or keep it for herself. But the last couple of nights, I have handed her pieces of food and she has reached up and put them into my mouth. She seems super proud of herself when she feeds me.
5. Sharing toys with Simba: In the same way she has been handing me things, she has started handing her toys to Simba, probably in hopes that he will play with her. Sadly, he either ignores her, or takes the toy, and, unlike mommy, does not give the toy back, but rather carries it out through his doggy door to the three season room that is his refuge. I watched her drop a shaker egg in front of him about 15 or 20 times yesterday, trying to get him to pick it up.
6. Initiates Peek-A-Boo: Gwen loves Peek-A-Boo. If you are a stranger and she doesn't like you, all you have to do to get on her good side is play a lively game of peek-a-boo. It is a mind-numbingly boring game, but she loves it so very much. At least the game is entertaining to me when she starts giggling. I used to have to do all of the hiding in peek-a-boo. I would either cover my face, or hide around a corner or behind a shower curtain, and Gwen would come find me. Now she grabs a blanket and holds it over her own face to start up a round of peek-a-boo. I'm surprised to discover she has a good deal of patience when covering her face. She will hide behind the blanket for 2-3 seconds before uncovering it. I don't even have that much patience for hiding.
7. Signs: I have been working on baby signs with Gwen, on and off, since she was about 4 or 5 months old. I forget sometimes that I am supposed to be teaching her sign language, so it has been kind of inconsistent. But she learned the sign for "more." Well, kind of. I think she thinks it means "want." She does it now when she wants to be breastfed. I guess it makes sense since that is her favorite thing.
8. Tongue clicking and raspberries: If you do a raspberry or a tongue click, she will do the same. I switch back and forth between the two and she follows right along!
So she is growing leaps and bounds. It is so much fun to watch.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Pelvic Rest
I have been hemming and hawing about writing this post for months. Why? Because we will be talking about S-E-X. It is kind of an embarrassing subject (this from the person who wrote about the most painful poop ever when I was in my first trimester), so I have avoided it for a while. But I think it is a super important, neglected post-pregnancy subject.
The doctor told me to take 6 weeks of pelvic rest. I went to the doctor after 6 weeks, everything checked out, and I was cleared to stop my pelvic rest. He was kind of hilarious about the way that he cleared me. He said, "Everything has healed up okay, so you are cleared for intercourse. However, you can tell your husband whatever you want."
Cool! I had been cleared by the doctor. I was all healed up and ready to go! So I told Keith what the doctor had told me and we decided to give it a go. I was very surprised to be met with some of the worst pain of my life. Sex hurt more than childbirth (I had an epidural for childbirth, and it took really well so I only felt a little bit of pressure near the end of birth; I didn't have an epidural for this, however). It literally felt like my insides were being ripped open, I started crying because it hurt so bad, and we had to stop. In fact, it hurt so bad that we didn't actually really do the deed until 12 weeks after Gwen was born.
I started asking around. I had only had a first degree tear, so the logical part of me figured it wasn't a healing problem. But I was worried that I was horribly and irreversibly marred and that I needed to go to the doctor ASAP. I might as well ask some girl friends before jumping the gun. And you know what I found out? It was amazingly painful for everyone (note: I didn't ask anyone who had a c-section, so I can't speak to that). I was told that I just had to tough it out for a month or so and then things would get back to normal. Why hadn't anyone ever told me?!?!?! Well, that is the reason that I am writing this now because at least this will be out there, and other first time mommies will know what is coming.
But, unfortunately, the problem has been worse for me than for the average mommy. Gwen is almost 10 months old and things still hurt. This is pain that is usually reserved for women with 4th degree tears. But apparently my hormones (from breastfeeding) have caused connective tissue changes in the va-jay-jay region and weak connective tissue can lead to pain. At my annual appointment, I asked the doctor (when Gwen was 6 months old) if there was anything I could do to reduce pain. He said that they can do hormone injections, but that is usually reserved for women who have bleeding and tearing with intercourse. Well, at least I don't have it that bad. He told me that when I wean Gwen things should go back to normal. Thankfully, it doesn't hurt as bad as it did 6 months ago, but it is no walk in the park.
So now I have finally shared this somewhat embarrassing piece of information. I hope that it is helpful to some other mommies out there and that you aren't blind-sided like I was.
The doctor told me to take 6 weeks of pelvic rest. I went to the doctor after 6 weeks, everything checked out, and I was cleared to stop my pelvic rest. He was kind of hilarious about the way that he cleared me. He said, "Everything has healed up okay, so you are cleared for intercourse. However, you can tell your husband whatever you want."
Cool! I had been cleared by the doctor. I was all healed up and ready to go! So I told Keith what the doctor had told me and we decided to give it a go. I was very surprised to be met with some of the worst pain of my life. Sex hurt more than childbirth (I had an epidural for childbirth, and it took really well so I only felt a little bit of pressure near the end of birth; I didn't have an epidural for this, however). It literally felt like my insides were being ripped open, I started crying because it hurt so bad, and we had to stop. In fact, it hurt so bad that we didn't actually really do the deed until 12 weeks after Gwen was born.
I started asking around. I had only had a first degree tear, so the logical part of me figured it wasn't a healing problem. But I was worried that I was horribly and irreversibly marred and that I needed to go to the doctor ASAP. I might as well ask some girl friends before jumping the gun. And you know what I found out? It was amazingly painful for everyone (note: I didn't ask anyone who had a c-section, so I can't speak to that). I was told that I just had to tough it out for a month or so and then things would get back to normal. Why hadn't anyone ever told me?!?!?! Well, that is the reason that I am writing this now because at least this will be out there, and other first time mommies will know what is coming.
But, unfortunately, the problem has been worse for me than for the average mommy. Gwen is almost 10 months old and things still hurt. This is pain that is usually reserved for women with 4th degree tears. But apparently my hormones (from breastfeeding) have caused connective tissue changes in the va-jay-jay region and weak connective tissue can lead to pain. At my annual appointment, I asked the doctor (when Gwen was 6 months old) if there was anything I could do to reduce pain. He said that they can do hormone injections, but that is usually reserved for women who have bleeding and tearing with intercourse. Well, at least I don't have it that bad. He told me that when I wean Gwen things should go back to normal. Thankfully, it doesn't hurt as bad as it did 6 months ago, but it is no walk in the park.
So now I have finally shared this somewhat embarrassing piece of information. I hope that it is helpful to some other mommies out there and that you aren't blind-sided like I was.
Monday, September 24, 2012
Teething for the first time again
I've got to be honest: I've kind of felt a little bit inept over the last several months regarding one key issue in raising my baby. That is teething. I thought she was teething when she was 4 months old. Then I was so confident that she was teething when she was 5 months old that I went out and bought orajel and motrin (in all fairness, I could see her top teeth through her gums at her gum/lip junction, and had no idea that it takes several months for teeth to move the distance from that junction to going through the gums). Then when we were moving, when she was 6 months old I thought she was teething again. She not only fooled me, but she fooled my in-laws, who babysat her for us one night, as well. I took a month off from thinking she was teething when she was 7 months old because I decided I would stop trying to guess if she was teething; I had been wrong at 4, 5, and 6 months, after all. But when she was 8 months old she got super grumpy and I thought, for sure, that she was teething. I even said to my parents and in-laws, "I know that I have said it several times before, but I really think she is teething this time." My mother-in-law said, "Sure Sara..." having heard it all before. My mother-in-law was right; Gwen was just getting a cold.
Now Gwen is 9 months old, and this time I really do think that she is teething. Yeah, I know I've said this before, but she is super irritable. I don't think she is getting sick because she just got over a cold this weekend. But maybe she is just being Gwen, and being Gwen means that you act like a teething little monster all the time (note: I mean monster in the most affectionate way possible. I love my little monster).
The moral of this story is that it is super difficult to guess when a baby is teething. And yes, I felt inept...until I joined a moms group and found out that everyone else was doing the exact same thing. Essentially what I discovered, after doing an informal poll, is that the only people who correctly guessed that their child was teething the first time were those people who had children who sprouted first teeth early (around 4 months). Everyone who had normal or late bloomers (Gwen being a toothless, 9-month-old late bloomer), in regards to teething, incorrectly assumed their child was teething for several months before teeth came in. Anytime baby got a runny nose or had an extraordinarily fussy day, baby was getting teeth. And it wasn't until their baby actually got teeth that they said, "Oh, this is what teething is like!" It's one of those things that you apparently anticipate greatly, and once it happens you understand. There isn't a good way to prepare (aside from having pain meds and teething rings on hand for when the time comes) because it is different for all babies.
So I think Gwen is teething. For real this time. But I thought it was for real each time before. So we will just have to wait and see. I think that wishing for teething is just hopeful thinking because you like to think that your child's fussiness is for some greater purpose and isn't just a bad day.
Now Gwen is 9 months old, and this time I really do think that she is teething. Yeah, I know I've said this before, but she is super irritable. I don't think she is getting sick because she just got over a cold this weekend. But maybe she is just being Gwen, and being Gwen means that you act like a teething little monster all the time (note: I mean monster in the most affectionate way possible. I love my little monster).
The moral of this story is that it is super difficult to guess when a baby is teething. And yes, I felt inept...until I joined a moms group and found out that everyone else was doing the exact same thing. Essentially what I discovered, after doing an informal poll, is that the only people who correctly guessed that their child was teething the first time were those people who had children who sprouted first teeth early (around 4 months). Everyone who had normal or late bloomers (Gwen being a toothless, 9-month-old late bloomer), in regards to teething, incorrectly assumed their child was teething for several months before teeth came in. Anytime baby got a runny nose or had an extraordinarily fussy day, baby was getting teeth. And it wasn't until their baby actually got teeth that they said, "Oh, this is what teething is like!" It's one of those things that you apparently anticipate greatly, and once it happens you understand. There isn't a good way to prepare (aside from having pain meds and teething rings on hand for when the time comes) because it is different for all babies.
So I think Gwen is teething. For real this time. But I thought it was for real each time before. So we will just have to wait and see. I think that wishing for teething is just hopeful thinking because you like to think that your child's fussiness is for some greater purpose and isn't just a bad day.
Hello Matt Lauer
I found myself wide awake at 2am daydreaming. Or night dreaming. What do you call daydreaming when you do it in the middle of the night? I was imagining that I wrote a book called "Mommy R.D." In my daydream, writing the book was easy; I was mostly just editing former blog entries (even in my daydream I realized that I needed to do more than the lazy one draft that I usually do for a blog entry). I also came up with some other new ideas for blog posts: I would have to talk about my health and eating growing up, what led me to pursue education in dietetics, more discussion about breastfeeding, the struggles that we have had introducing solid foods, and I would, of course, follow Gwen into toddlerhood with both her journey and my journey to eat healthy foods. Throughout this journey I would lose 20 pounds and would exercise an hour each day, so I would have a wonderful dust jacket author photo and would be able to show other mommies that it is possible to be a healthy mommy. Just before I went back to sleep, I had my imaginary interview on Good Morning America*. Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie asked me about my inspiration and thanked me for my wonderful contributions to the diet and child rearing literary community.
*Based on some quick internet research that I just performed, I now know that Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie are not, in fact, on Good Morning America, but are on the Today show. But I would be willing to meet with Matt and Savannah on the Today Show, or to go onto Good Morning America and talk to whoever is on there. I think I would prefer the Today Show because then I could do the weather with Al Roker, which is pretty awewome.
*Based on some quick internet research that I just performed, I now know that Matt Lauer and Savannah Guthrie are not, in fact, on Good Morning America, but are on the Today show. But I would be willing to meet with Matt and Savannah on the Today Show, or to go onto Good Morning America and talk to whoever is on there. I think I would prefer the Today Show because then I could do the weather with Al Roker, which is pretty awewome.
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Meeting Mommies
I am making progress in my journey to make friends. I don't think I have any friends in Pittsburgh yet, per se, but I have acquaintances now. This is due to two groups in which Gwen and I have recently become members.
First, we joined Gymboree. This was key. First of all, we have an unlimited membership so we are able to go to a class or open gym at least once daily (except for Sundays when they are closed). I have met several mommies there, Gwen has grown leaps and bounds in her abilities from watching other kids, and she has had the chance to interact with other kids, which she had never really done before. She has gotten so good at her milestones that she is in the level 3 class even though she is still, technically, a month too young (yes, I am bragging because I am proud of my little girl). We have only been doing Gymboree for a month and a half and in that time Gwen went from being a non-crawler to a near-walker. The negative of Gymboree: Gwen is suffering her second cold in as many weeks. I guess she was going to be exposed to germs at some point, and at least she is building up her immune system now without missing any days of school.
Our second group that we have joined is the Mt Lebanon Moms Network. I found this organization through a website called meetup. If you are looking for friends who have similar interests as you, I suggest looking on meetup. I joined meetup, joined the MLMN, and now there is at least one activity daily that Gwen and I can go to. It is mostly made up of stay at home moms who also wanted to get out of the house at least once daily so they don't go crazy.
I found out through my discussions with many of these moms that several have also recently moved to Pittsburgh and have joined one or both of these groups to meet other moms. I'm not alone!
Here is how I know that I am making progress in making acquaintances: last night while grocery shopping Gwen heard another baby babbling and decided to mimic her sounds. I said, "Are you talking to another baby," and when I looked up to see the baby she was talking to I realized it was a baby from her Gymboree class. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember the name of the baby's mom, for the life of me, but now you can be sure I won't forget it again. Then today we went to baby story time at the library. I saw two people from the MLMN and two people from Gymboree! Not only did I see people from both groups, but one mom from MLMN is thinking about joining Gymboree and did a free class yesterday meeting one of the Gymboree moms who was at the library this morning, so my two Pittsburghian worlds collided. There actually seems to be quite a bit of MLMN/Gymboree overlap. The Gymboree moms hear about MLMN through the current MLMN members, and the MLMN members who are not Gymboree members are looking for indoor activities now that it is getting colder out (colder being 65 degrees...they seem to be planning ahead).
I am hoping that soon I will be able to make the transition from recognizing people out in public when I happen to run into them to arranging to get together with people on purpose. I will keep you posted with my progress as well as any other ideas that I discover for making friends as a grown-up.
*Note: When trying to make friends with other moms, don't try typing "dating moms" into google. You will not find what you are looking for.
First, we joined Gymboree. This was key. First of all, we have an unlimited membership so we are able to go to a class or open gym at least once daily (except for Sundays when they are closed). I have met several mommies there, Gwen has grown leaps and bounds in her abilities from watching other kids, and she has had the chance to interact with other kids, which she had never really done before. She has gotten so good at her milestones that she is in the level 3 class even though she is still, technically, a month too young (yes, I am bragging because I am proud of my little girl). We have only been doing Gymboree for a month and a half and in that time Gwen went from being a non-crawler to a near-walker. The negative of Gymboree: Gwen is suffering her second cold in as many weeks. I guess she was going to be exposed to germs at some point, and at least she is building up her immune system now without missing any days of school.
Our second group that we have joined is the Mt Lebanon Moms Network. I found this organization through a website called meetup. If you are looking for friends who have similar interests as you, I suggest looking on meetup. I joined meetup, joined the MLMN, and now there is at least one activity daily that Gwen and I can go to. It is mostly made up of stay at home moms who also wanted to get out of the house at least once daily so they don't go crazy.
I found out through my discussions with many of these moms that several have also recently moved to Pittsburgh and have joined one or both of these groups to meet other moms. I'm not alone!
Here is how I know that I am making progress in making acquaintances: last night while grocery shopping Gwen heard another baby babbling and decided to mimic her sounds. I said, "Are you talking to another baby," and when I looked up to see the baby she was talking to I realized it was a baby from her Gymboree class. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember the name of the baby's mom, for the life of me, but now you can be sure I won't forget it again. Then today we went to baby story time at the library. I saw two people from the MLMN and two people from Gymboree! Not only did I see people from both groups, but one mom from MLMN is thinking about joining Gymboree and did a free class yesterday meeting one of the Gymboree moms who was at the library this morning, so my two Pittsburghian worlds collided. There actually seems to be quite a bit of MLMN/Gymboree overlap. The Gymboree moms hear about MLMN through the current MLMN members, and the MLMN members who are not Gymboree members are looking for indoor activities now that it is getting colder out (colder being 65 degrees...they seem to be planning ahead).
I am hoping that soon I will be able to make the transition from recognizing people out in public when I happen to run into them to arranging to get together with people on purpose. I will keep you posted with my progress as well as any other ideas that I discover for making friends as a grown-up.
*Note: When trying to make friends with other moms, don't try typing "dating moms" into google. You will not find what you are looking for.
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Gwen: The Yogic Master
I think that Gwen has taken up Yoga in her spare time. Yes, I was aware that when babies learn new skills they like to practice said skill all the time. But she won't even turn it off for meal time (and for anyone who knows her, they know that meal time is her favorite time)!
The easiest position to put G in to nurse her is laying down. She can either lay next to me or lay across my lap. We have been working on this position since she was just born and did not have the ability to do anything but lay down. However, now that she has learned new skills, like "sit," and "kneel," and "stand," she gets a little bit bored with the same old same old.
This is now how breastfeeding goes at bed or nap times:
1. Lay down in bed.
2. Gwen crawls toward me in bed (since she is a milk seeking missile) with her mouth open, ready to eat.
3. Gwen tries to latch on, but misses. While she is becoming pretty good at crawling, her aim is not so great.
4. Reposition her so she is lying down next to me (translated: force her to lay down against her will) - it has to be more comfortable so I figure she will be happier and better able to eat.
5. She stays in that position for exactly 4.78 seconds until she realizes that if she rolls just slightly to the side she can get her knees underneath her.
6. Moves so she is on her hands and knees, making sure to bite down so she doesn't lose hold of the milk supply (I'm very thankful that she doesn't have teeth yet, and am trying to lay down the law now that she is just biting me with gums by telling her "no!" so it doesn't escalate to her biting me with teeth).
7. Realizes that being on her hands and knees is halfway to sitting, so she tries to spin around on her bottom, still biting down so as not to lose her precious fuel supply.
8. Content to sit and eat for a while. However, I think her neck gets tired because after about 5-10 seconds, she lays her head down on me so she doesn't have to support its weight. She does have a pretty big head. If my neck were that small I don't think it could support a head that big.
9. Realizes that standing is way better than sitting.
10. Manages to get her feet under her body, once again, without letting go of the milk supply.
11. Stands up. However, I refuse to give in to her constantly changing positions, so I stay laying. This means that she can stand, but she has to bend over to eat.
12. She happily obliges to this awkward position until, once again, her head gets to heavy and she tries to lay it down on my body.
13. She eventually falls over from the sheer exhaustion of hauling around her gigantic head.*
14. Repeat
*Her head really is huge. The last time we went to the doctor her head was in the 95th percentile. That means that her head is larger than 19 out of every 20 babies her age that she passes on the street. While she is also chunky, which presents its own problems with fitting clothes on her body, usually the first clothing fit problem is that her head won't go through the neck hole.
The easiest position to put G in to nurse her is laying down. She can either lay next to me or lay across my lap. We have been working on this position since she was just born and did not have the ability to do anything but lay down. However, now that she has learned new skills, like "sit," and "kneel," and "stand," she gets a little bit bored with the same old same old.
This is now how breastfeeding goes at bed or nap times:
1. Lay down in bed.
2. Gwen crawls toward me in bed (since she is a milk seeking missile) with her mouth open, ready to eat.
3. Gwen tries to latch on, but misses. While she is becoming pretty good at crawling, her aim is not so great.
4. Reposition her so she is lying down next to me (translated: force her to lay down against her will) - it has to be more comfortable so I figure she will be happier and better able to eat.
5. She stays in that position for exactly 4.78 seconds until she realizes that if she rolls just slightly to the side she can get her knees underneath her.
6. Moves so she is on her hands and knees, making sure to bite down so she doesn't lose hold of the milk supply (I'm very thankful that she doesn't have teeth yet, and am trying to lay down the law now that she is just biting me with gums by telling her "no!" so it doesn't escalate to her biting me with teeth).
7. Realizes that being on her hands and knees is halfway to sitting, so she tries to spin around on her bottom, still biting down so as not to lose her precious fuel supply.
8. Content to sit and eat for a while. However, I think her neck gets tired because after about 5-10 seconds, she lays her head down on me so she doesn't have to support its weight. She does have a pretty big head. If my neck were that small I don't think it could support a head that big.
9. Realizes that standing is way better than sitting.
10. Manages to get her feet under her body, once again, without letting go of the milk supply.
11. Stands up. However, I refuse to give in to her constantly changing positions, so I stay laying. This means that she can stand, but she has to bend over to eat.
12. She happily obliges to this awkward position until, once again, her head gets to heavy and she tries to lay it down on my body.
13. She eventually falls over from the sheer exhaustion of hauling around her gigantic head.*
14. Repeat
*Her head really is huge. The last time we went to the doctor her head was in the 95th percentile. That means that her head is larger than 19 out of every 20 babies her age that she passes on the street. While she is also chunky, which presents its own problems with fitting clothes on her body, usually the first clothing fit problem is that her head won't go through the neck hole.
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
My thoughts on Natural and Alternative Medicine
This post may get a lot of people in a tizzy. The reason for this is that if you care anything about natural and alternative treatments, you generally fall into one of two camps: those who love it and those who hate it. I am one of the few who falls somewhere in the middle. I am not gung-ho western medicine (much to the confusion of my physician husband; as an anesthesiologist in training he was quite puzzled when I wanted a natural childbirth), and I embrace a few alternative treatments. I am willing to do the research when I hear about something new and give it a try.
I have been thinking quite a bit about natural and alternative medical treatments for the past couple of days. Why? Because I think Gwen is teething (notice I say "think;" I thought she was teething several times since she was 4 months old, however, if the fever, rosy cheeks, need to constantly cuddle, excessive napping, general fussiness, and incessant chewing are any indication, she is teething this time). She looks like she feels awful, and I, of course, want to do whatever I can do to relieve her pain.
I have gotten quite a bit of advice each time I thought Gwen was teething: tylenol, motrin, gum massage, cold teething rings, sophie the giraffe, orajel, hylands teething tabs, baltic amber necklace, chew beads, teething bling...the list goes on and on.
I have a very unique background when it comes to evaluating this advice. I have a degree in biology. I am married to a doctor and had a short stint in medical school myself. I have a couple of years of graduate training in immunology, so I understand what is taking place within her immune system. I also have 3 years of graduate training in medical dietetics with an emphasis in supplements (I took a supplements course and I am currently stalled in writing my thesis on supplement use because of a certain teething little girl).
I tend to see any medical treatment as falling into 3 categories: 1.) it could hurt you, 2.) it might not help you but won't hurt you, and 3.) it should help you and shouldn't hurt you. None of these are absolutes. For example, sometimes drugs are released to the market (I am talking about FDA approved western medicines), and we find out once a large portion of the population takes them that they are harmful to certain subsets. The background studies didn't have sufficient numbers to discover that the drugs were harmful. However, when a traditional pharmaceutical is found to be harmful to certain individuals, it either is pulled from the market or is required to provide a warning against its use in certain circumstances. We have another safeguard with pharmaceuticals: they require a prescription from a physician who has received many years of training and who, likely, is keeping up with the current medication warnings.
Now for natural treatments: I hear so many people talk about how natural medicine is safe and wonderful. It kind of gives you an ooey gooey feeling to hear about it. However, natural substances can be some of the most dangerous. For one thing, you can obtain them yourself, in any quantity you wish, without any formal training on how to use them (or even if you should use them). Secondly, natural does not mean safe. Example? How about arsenic? It is all natural. But it is also toxic. I don't hear people running around talking about it as a natural medicine because I think we would all agree that would be foolhardy. But many natural treatments can be just as harmful, and even deadly. And before you say, "I wouldn't take arsenic. I just take some herbals and vitamins," I want to let you know that those substances are not innocuous either. For example, in the world of vitamins, there is something called the UL, or the tolerable upper limit. This is the amount that it is estimated that you can take at which 97% of the population will not feel ill effect. However, 3% may still have problems at this dose, and if you exceed that amount the percentage of people who will suffer problems also climbs. If you overdose on Vitamin C, you might just get some tummy cramps and diarrhea. If you overdose on Vitamin A and have a history of smoking, it might increase your risk of lung cancer and death. If you overdose on water soluble vitamins, you will likely just pee them out (for the most part), but if you overdose on fat soluble vitamins you store them in your fat and might take so much that you die. And people take multivitamins and single vitamin formulations thinking that they are doing their body good.
Let's talk about western medicine now. One of the great things about western medicine is that we manufacture them. This flies in the face of the natural movement. Why would you want to put something manmade into your body? There are some very good reasons. Men can make molecules that are specific and pure. If you have a problem in your body, you need a specific molecule to target that problem. Purity is a friend to the ill as well. When you have a pure substance you know exactly how much you are taking and you know that that is all you are taking. The pure molecule is able to target the problem without introducing several other substances into your body. A very real problem with natural substances is that you can only obtain pure ingredients via manmade methods. If you go out and use a root or a leaf from a plant you might get a plethora of active ingredients. These molecules may work together for good, or they may cause side effects (and before you get on me for being biased, yes western medicines have side effects as well: one molecule may act on several pathways, or may cause a signaling cascade that results in untoward symptoms).
There are several natural and alternative therapies for which I think there is quite a bit of evidence and for which I fully support the use. For example, melatonin does appear to be helpful for people who are having trouble regulating sleep. You need to be careful of how much you take (too much of a good thing can be a bad thing), and if you have any medical conditions you should check with your doctor before use, but it can be a useful tool. It can be especially useful in children with autism and adults with Huntington's Disease, who often have trouble sleeping. Cinnamon has been shown in studies to be effective in blood sugar regulation. A therapy for which there is extensive evidence and for which I have a great deal of respect is accupuncture. In fact, I am going to try it soon in an attempt to rid myself of migraine headaches, for which I currently take a combination of acetaminophen, caffeine, and a barbiturate (note: while I have great respect for accupuncture, I cannot say the same of traditional chinese medicine herbal supplements: they have been demonstrated to often be contaminated with harmful heavy metals that are toxic to the body). But if you decide to use alternative treatments, first seek medical advice. It will do you no good if you take something at the wrong dose or in the wrong way, thus negating its usefulness or making it harmful.
Then there is the category of probably won't help but it won't hurt. And this is the reason that I am writing this post. When I was looking into teething treatments, I stumbled upon many things that made me question what I believed regarding therapy in my baby. I am much pickier about what I will give to her compared with what I will try. For example, I took fenugreek to increase breastmilk production. I realize that there is little data to support its effectiveness (aside from anecdotes from mother's who say they successfully increased milk production, but anecdotal data is the weakest form of data), but I also know that a problem within the supplements industry is that there is very little incentive to perform studies to gain evidence. The reason pharmaceutical studies occur is because there is big incentive in the form of a big pay out in the end if the drug goes to market. Supplements are already on the market and each formulation is sold by several companies, so if one company puts in the time and money for a study, they will likely never make back enough money to make up for it. So I took Fenugreek. I think it was effective, but I am an n of 1 and you need 3 in the experimental group and 3 in the control group if you ever hope to reach statistical significance.
Another reason I was hesitant to try supplements in Gwen is that pharmaceuticals have to be demonstrated to be safe in order to be approved by the FDA. Supplements have to be demonstrated to be unsafe in order to be pulled from the market. They are not FDA approved and it is very difficult to get them pulled from the market because it is very difficult in a complex world to show that it was the supplement that harmed someone, and that is even if people report an adverse event to the right government agency.
As for dosing Gwen with something, I am all for giving her tylenol and motrin. I know that at the doses at which I am giving her these medications her liver (tylenol) and kidneys (motrin) are able to metabolize the drugs (tangent: speaking of the liver and the kidneys, your body can detox itself. It doesn't need help from a juice fast or any other detox beverage or pill. God made your body so it could detox itself. If he hadn't done that, we would have all died long ago. So save your money and skip the detox drinks. You are just making yourself some expensive urine. Tangent over). Plus, the tylenol and motrin work. I can see a marked difference in her pre- and post-medicine. I tried orajel on her, and it doesn't work very well (I tested it on myself and it didn't work well and wore off in less than 10 minutes, so I decided it is not worth introducing this pain med into her tiny little system). As for Hyland's teething tablets, I really wanted to use them - I had several friends swear by them. But I didn't feel right about it. Our pediatrician also advised against them. They are not FDA approved, they may contain varying amounts of the active ingredients (in fact, Hyland's has been pulled from the shelves before for this very reason). Also, some of the active ingredients (belladonna, for example) can be toxic. So I decided not to give it to my little baby. The one saving grace of this drug is that it is a homeopathic treatment, and one of the central tenets of homeopathy is that the more dilute the active ingredients are the more effective they will be (does this make sense to anyone else???? The other major tenet of homeopathy is like cures like. The example given from the Hyland's website is that if you had watery eyes you might use onion to treat it because onions make your eyes water when you cut them. Once again, does this make sense to anyone else????). While this doesn't make sense to me, it at least means that belladonna is likely in such low quantities that it will not harm little ones. So if you decided to give it to your baby, I am not judging you and I am sure your baby will be fine. I just decided not to give it to my baby.
The things that I decided to try, aside from pharmaceuticals, is jewelry. Two jewelry items that I have are to make me fashionable and to provide Gwen a chewing surface. These are my teething bling necklace and my chew beads bracelet. They are both baby safe, dishwasher safe, bpa free silicone. She loves them. And I really like them too. (I know these aren't alternative treatments, I just really like my teething jewelry and wanted to talk about it). With teething jewelry, I always have something with me that she can chew on, if need be. Plus, she would much rather chew on something she shouldn't chew on (like my jewelry), than something she should chew on (like a cool teething ring), so I figure I can trick her with teething jewelry. The third piece of jewelry that I bought is a baltic amber necklace for Gwen. Supposedly, amber oil gets in through the skin from wearing the necklace and is anti-inflammatory. While there isn't evidence to support this, I figured it wouldn't hurt her (there is a breakaway clasp if she gets it caught on something to prevent strangulation, and a knot between each bead so if the string breaks she won't choke on the stones), plus she gets to wear a necklace, which is pretty awesome and kind of makes her look like a flower child. Best case scenario? It works by some unknown mechanism and makes my baby feel better. Worst case scenario? I wasted $22 on something that doesn't work, but have still provided Gwen with a pretty snazzy necklace. Like I said, this falls under the category of might not help, but won't hurt.
Moral of the story: Get educated. Avoid things that harm, embrace things that work, and don't sweat the things that might not work but won't hurt you.
I have been thinking quite a bit about natural and alternative medical treatments for the past couple of days. Why? Because I think Gwen is teething (notice I say "think;" I thought she was teething several times since she was 4 months old, however, if the fever, rosy cheeks, need to constantly cuddle, excessive napping, general fussiness, and incessant chewing are any indication, she is teething this time). She looks like she feels awful, and I, of course, want to do whatever I can do to relieve her pain.
I have gotten quite a bit of advice each time I thought Gwen was teething: tylenol, motrin, gum massage, cold teething rings, sophie the giraffe, orajel, hylands teething tabs, baltic amber necklace, chew beads, teething bling...the list goes on and on.
I have a very unique background when it comes to evaluating this advice. I have a degree in biology. I am married to a doctor and had a short stint in medical school myself. I have a couple of years of graduate training in immunology, so I understand what is taking place within her immune system. I also have 3 years of graduate training in medical dietetics with an emphasis in supplements (I took a supplements course and I am currently stalled in writing my thesis on supplement use because of a certain teething little girl).
I tend to see any medical treatment as falling into 3 categories: 1.) it could hurt you, 2.) it might not help you but won't hurt you, and 3.) it should help you and shouldn't hurt you. None of these are absolutes. For example, sometimes drugs are released to the market (I am talking about FDA approved western medicines), and we find out once a large portion of the population takes them that they are harmful to certain subsets. The background studies didn't have sufficient numbers to discover that the drugs were harmful. However, when a traditional pharmaceutical is found to be harmful to certain individuals, it either is pulled from the market or is required to provide a warning against its use in certain circumstances. We have another safeguard with pharmaceuticals: they require a prescription from a physician who has received many years of training and who, likely, is keeping up with the current medication warnings.
Now for natural treatments: I hear so many people talk about how natural medicine is safe and wonderful. It kind of gives you an ooey gooey feeling to hear about it. However, natural substances can be some of the most dangerous. For one thing, you can obtain them yourself, in any quantity you wish, without any formal training on how to use them (or even if you should use them). Secondly, natural does not mean safe. Example? How about arsenic? It is all natural. But it is also toxic. I don't hear people running around talking about it as a natural medicine because I think we would all agree that would be foolhardy. But many natural treatments can be just as harmful, and even deadly. And before you say, "I wouldn't take arsenic. I just take some herbals and vitamins," I want to let you know that those substances are not innocuous either. For example, in the world of vitamins, there is something called the UL, or the tolerable upper limit. This is the amount that it is estimated that you can take at which 97% of the population will not feel ill effect. However, 3% may still have problems at this dose, and if you exceed that amount the percentage of people who will suffer problems also climbs. If you overdose on Vitamin C, you might just get some tummy cramps and diarrhea. If you overdose on Vitamin A and have a history of smoking, it might increase your risk of lung cancer and death. If you overdose on water soluble vitamins, you will likely just pee them out (for the most part), but if you overdose on fat soluble vitamins you store them in your fat and might take so much that you die. And people take multivitamins and single vitamin formulations thinking that they are doing their body good.
Let's talk about western medicine now. One of the great things about western medicine is that we manufacture them. This flies in the face of the natural movement. Why would you want to put something manmade into your body? There are some very good reasons. Men can make molecules that are specific and pure. If you have a problem in your body, you need a specific molecule to target that problem. Purity is a friend to the ill as well. When you have a pure substance you know exactly how much you are taking and you know that that is all you are taking. The pure molecule is able to target the problem without introducing several other substances into your body. A very real problem with natural substances is that you can only obtain pure ingredients via manmade methods. If you go out and use a root or a leaf from a plant you might get a plethora of active ingredients. These molecules may work together for good, or they may cause side effects (and before you get on me for being biased, yes western medicines have side effects as well: one molecule may act on several pathways, or may cause a signaling cascade that results in untoward symptoms).
There are several natural and alternative therapies for which I think there is quite a bit of evidence and for which I fully support the use. For example, melatonin does appear to be helpful for people who are having trouble regulating sleep. You need to be careful of how much you take (too much of a good thing can be a bad thing), and if you have any medical conditions you should check with your doctor before use, but it can be a useful tool. It can be especially useful in children with autism and adults with Huntington's Disease, who often have trouble sleeping. Cinnamon has been shown in studies to be effective in blood sugar regulation. A therapy for which there is extensive evidence and for which I have a great deal of respect is accupuncture. In fact, I am going to try it soon in an attempt to rid myself of migraine headaches, for which I currently take a combination of acetaminophen, caffeine, and a barbiturate (note: while I have great respect for accupuncture, I cannot say the same of traditional chinese medicine herbal supplements: they have been demonstrated to often be contaminated with harmful heavy metals that are toxic to the body). But if you decide to use alternative treatments, first seek medical advice. It will do you no good if you take something at the wrong dose or in the wrong way, thus negating its usefulness or making it harmful.
Then there is the category of probably won't help but it won't hurt. And this is the reason that I am writing this post. When I was looking into teething treatments, I stumbled upon many things that made me question what I believed regarding therapy in my baby. I am much pickier about what I will give to her compared with what I will try. For example, I took fenugreek to increase breastmilk production. I realize that there is little data to support its effectiveness (aside from anecdotes from mother's who say they successfully increased milk production, but anecdotal data is the weakest form of data), but I also know that a problem within the supplements industry is that there is very little incentive to perform studies to gain evidence. The reason pharmaceutical studies occur is because there is big incentive in the form of a big pay out in the end if the drug goes to market. Supplements are already on the market and each formulation is sold by several companies, so if one company puts in the time and money for a study, they will likely never make back enough money to make up for it. So I took Fenugreek. I think it was effective, but I am an n of 1 and you need 3 in the experimental group and 3 in the control group if you ever hope to reach statistical significance.
Another reason I was hesitant to try supplements in Gwen is that pharmaceuticals have to be demonstrated to be safe in order to be approved by the FDA. Supplements have to be demonstrated to be unsafe in order to be pulled from the market. They are not FDA approved and it is very difficult to get them pulled from the market because it is very difficult in a complex world to show that it was the supplement that harmed someone, and that is even if people report an adverse event to the right government agency.
As for dosing Gwen with something, I am all for giving her tylenol and motrin. I know that at the doses at which I am giving her these medications her liver (tylenol) and kidneys (motrin) are able to metabolize the drugs (tangent: speaking of the liver and the kidneys, your body can detox itself. It doesn't need help from a juice fast or any other detox beverage or pill. God made your body so it could detox itself. If he hadn't done that, we would have all died long ago. So save your money and skip the detox drinks. You are just making yourself some expensive urine. Tangent over). Plus, the tylenol and motrin work. I can see a marked difference in her pre- and post-medicine. I tried orajel on her, and it doesn't work very well (I tested it on myself and it didn't work well and wore off in less than 10 minutes, so I decided it is not worth introducing this pain med into her tiny little system). As for Hyland's teething tablets, I really wanted to use them - I had several friends swear by them. But I didn't feel right about it. Our pediatrician also advised against them. They are not FDA approved, they may contain varying amounts of the active ingredients (in fact, Hyland's has been pulled from the shelves before for this very reason). Also, some of the active ingredients (belladonna, for example) can be toxic. So I decided not to give it to my little baby. The one saving grace of this drug is that it is a homeopathic treatment, and one of the central tenets of homeopathy is that the more dilute the active ingredients are the more effective they will be (does this make sense to anyone else???? The other major tenet of homeopathy is like cures like. The example given from the Hyland's website is that if you had watery eyes you might use onion to treat it because onions make your eyes water when you cut them. Once again, does this make sense to anyone else????). While this doesn't make sense to me, it at least means that belladonna is likely in such low quantities that it will not harm little ones. So if you decided to give it to your baby, I am not judging you and I am sure your baby will be fine. I just decided not to give it to my baby.
The things that I decided to try, aside from pharmaceuticals, is jewelry. Two jewelry items that I have are to make me fashionable and to provide Gwen a chewing surface. These are my teething bling necklace and my chew beads bracelet. They are both baby safe, dishwasher safe, bpa free silicone. She loves them. And I really like them too. (I know these aren't alternative treatments, I just really like my teething jewelry and wanted to talk about it). With teething jewelry, I always have something with me that she can chew on, if need be. Plus, she would much rather chew on something she shouldn't chew on (like my jewelry), than something she should chew on (like a cool teething ring), so I figure I can trick her with teething jewelry. The third piece of jewelry that I bought is a baltic amber necklace for Gwen. Supposedly, amber oil gets in through the skin from wearing the necklace and is anti-inflammatory. While there isn't evidence to support this, I figured it wouldn't hurt her (there is a breakaway clasp if she gets it caught on something to prevent strangulation, and a knot between each bead so if the string breaks she won't choke on the stones), plus she gets to wear a necklace, which is pretty awesome and kind of makes her look like a flower child. Best case scenario? It works by some unknown mechanism and makes my baby feel better. Worst case scenario? I wasted $22 on something that doesn't work, but have still provided Gwen with a pretty snazzy necklace. Like I said, this falls under the category of might not help, but won't hurt.
Moral of the story: Get educated. Avoid things that harm, embrace things that work, and don't sweat the things that might not work but won't hurt you.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Gwen Apparently Didn't Get the Memo
Today is my birthday. I am 28 years old. Keith gave me a very wonderful day. While I love my little baby girl, I don't think she got the memo that today is my birthday. Or at least she didn't act like it.
I had a few very simple requests for my birthday. 1.) A pair of boots that match both brown and black clothes (so I only need 1 pair) that are flat so I don't trip when carrying Gwen. 2.) Sleep. 3.) Alone time to be crafty. 4.) Attend the Pittsburgh Irish Festival.
I, however, am not even very good at shutting off mommyhood for my birthday wishes. Yes, I wanted craft time. But what was I going to do with my craft time? I was planning on busting out my sewing machine and sewing baby slings so I can have my hands free more of the day when carrying Gwen around the house. Gwen and I currently only have 1 functional sling since I managed to misplace the other one during our move. This means that if it gets dirty in any way (and let's face it: it will get dirty) we are down to zero baby slings, and that simply will not do.
Here is how things went down today:
1.) Boots: Keith got me super fabulous boots. I picked out the pair that I loved from Macy's about a week ago. Keith stayed home with Gwen last week while I went to the mall to get the boots. Gwen did not like this, unfortunately, and screamed the entire 30 minutes I was away. But she recovered, Keith somewhat recovered, and I got some pretty awesome boots from my pretty awesome hubby. They were somewhat extravagant boots, so I planned on not getting anything else from Keith for my birthday. Being pretty awesome, however, he took me shopping yesterday and bought me a blingy sweater that I wanted. And then he surprised me yet again this morning with a book that I have wanted for about a year (it is called The Disappearing Spoon and tells the history of the world through the framework of the periodic table of elements...I can tell you are all super jealous that I got this book and you don't have it).
2.) Sleep: Gwen did really well sleeping 2 and 3 nights ago. She had a 5 hour sleep stretch both of those nights (which may not sound great, but I can assure you is fabulous). She may have woken up just after 4 am both mornings, but you can't have it all. Last night, however, she didn't get the memo that mommy wanted sleep. She woke up probably 4 or 5 times - I lose count usually after 3. Furthermore, she won't go back to sleep for Keith, so when she wakes up in the middle of the night I am on duty. Keith got up with her when she woke up just after 5 am, but apparently she didn't want daddy this morning. She wanted mommy. She tricked Keith into thinking she was sleepy (while she was actually just cranky), and so he brought her back to bed for her nap. When I woke up to put her down for her nap (once again, she won't fall asleep for Keith) she just wanted to play. Keith took her away for another 45 minutes, but then she actually was tired...probably from all of the crying she had been doing. By the time I finally got her to go to sleep for her nap, at 7:40, I was too wound up to go back to sleep, so I read one of my new books while she slept...for 38 minutes. I guess she decided she wasn't going to sleep today, either.
3.) Craft time: Here is what I accomplished in making her baby slings today: buying fabric. That's all. Since Gwen only took a 38 minute nap for nap 1 this morning, she fell asleep on the way to Hobby Lobby. Since we were already near the store, we decided to get Starbucks and just drive around until she woke back up. Just over an hour later, she woke up and we went to Hobby Lobby. Then I decided that she needed some new clothes since she has a giant head and, while many of her clothes still fit her body, I can't get them over her noggin. We swung by Once Upon a Child and stocked up on 18 month and 2T clothes. By the time we left there and got into the car to drive home, Gwen decided she needed a third nap. Nap 3 lasted 33 minutes. I wanted to go to the Pittsburgh Irish Festival tonight, so by the time she woke up, we walked the dog, ate a quick snack, and it was time to leave. So no craft time. But I did wash the fabric, so hopefully I can do some sewing tomorrow when Keith's parents come over for my birthday celebration.
4.) Festival: While Gwen was quite pleasant while we were walking around the festival (since there were plenty of, shall we call them interesting?, people to observe) she was a little monster in the car the entire way there and the entire way home. I am sure she is going to have laryngitis tomorrow thanks to both the volume and duration of crying (it took 45 minutes to get to the festival and 45 minutes to drive home).
So my birthday wasn't quite what I pictured. But Keith did a fabulous job in making it special, and, even though my little monster was temperamental, it was extra special since it was my first birthday being a mom.
I had a few very simple requests for my birthday. 1.) A pair of boots that match both brown and black clothes (so I only need 1 pair) that are flat so I don't trip when carrying Gwen. 2.) Sleep. 3.) Alone time to be crafty. 4.) Attend the Pittsburgh Irish Festival.
I, however, am not even very good at shutting off mommyhood for my birthday wishes. Yes, I wanted craft time. But what was I going to do with my craft time? I was planning on busting out my sewing machine and sewing baby slings so I can have my hands free more of the day when carrying Gwen around the house. Gwen and I currently only have 1 functional sling since I managed to misplace the other one during our move. This means that if it gets dirty in any way (and let's face it: it will get dirty) we are down to zero baby slings, and that simply will not do.
Here is how things went down today:
1.) Boots: Keith got me super fabulous boots. I picked out the pair that I loved from Macy's about a week ago. Keith stayed home with Gwen last week while I went to the mall to get the boots. Gwen did not like this, unfortunately, and screamed the entire 30 minutes I was away. But she recovered, Keith somewhat recovered, and I got some pretty awesome boots from my pretty awesome hubby. They were somewhat extravagant boots, so I planned on not getting anything else from Keith for my birthday. Being pretty awesome, however, he took me shopping yesterday and bought me a blingy sweater that I wanted. And then he surprised me yet again this morning with a book that I have wanted for about a year (it is called The Disappearing Spoon and tells the history of the world through the framework of the periodic table of elements...I can tell you are all super jealous that I got this book and you don't have it).
2.) Sleep: Gwen did really well sleeping 2 and 3 nights ago. She had a 5 hour sleep stretch both of those nights (which may not sound great, but I can assure you is fabulous). She may have woken up just after 4 am both mornings, but you can't have it all. Last night, however, she didn't get the memo that mommy wanted sleep. She woke up probably 4 or 5 times - I lose count usually after 3. Furthermore, she won't go back to sleep for Keith, so when she wakes up in the middle of the night I am on duty. Keith got up with her when she woke up just after 5 am, but apparently she didn't want daddy this morning. She wanted mommy. She tricked Keith into thinking she was sleepy (while she was actually just cranky), and so he brought her back to bed for her nap. When I woke up to put her down for her nap (once again, she won't fall asleep for Keith) she just wanted to play. Keith took her away for another 45 minutes, but then she actually was tired...probably from all of the crying she had been doing. By the time I finally got her to go to sleep for her nap, at 7:40, I was too wound up to go back to sleep, so I read one of my new books while she slept...for 38 minutes. I guess she decided she wasn't going to sleep today, either.
3.) Craft time: Here is what I accomplished in making her baby slings today: buying fabric. That's all. Since Gwen only took a 38 minute nap for nap 1 this morning, she fell asleep on the way to Hobby Lobby. Since we were already near the store, we decided to get Starbucks and just drive around until she woke back up. Just over an hour later, she woke up and we went to Hobby Lobby. Then I decided that she needed some new clothes since she has a giant head and, while many of her clothes still fit her body, I can't get them over her noggin. We swung by Once Upon a Child and stocked up on 18 month and 2T clothes. By the time we left there and got into the car to drive home, Gwen decided she needed a third nap. Nap 3 lasted 33 minutes. I wanted to go to the Pittsburgh Irish Festival tonight, so by the time she woke up, we walked the dog, ate a quick snack, and it was time to leave. So no craft time. But I did wash the fabric, so hopefully I can do some sewing tomorrow when Keith's parents come over for my birthday celebration.
4.) Festival: While Gwen was quite pleasant while we were walking around the festival (since there were plenty of, shall we call them interesting?, people to observe) she was a little monster in the car the entire way there and the entire way home. I am sure she is going to have laryngitis tomorrow thanks to both the volume and duration of crying (it took 45 minutes to get to the festival and 45 minutes to drive home).
So my birthday wasn't quite what I pictured. But Keith did a fabulous job in making it special, and, even though my little monster was temperamental, it was extra special since it was my first birthday being a mom.
Thursday, September 6, 2012
Oh good. She's finally quiet...oh, no.
All parents learn that a quiet child does not necessarily equate to a good child. Kids get quiet when they are concentrating on solving a problem. As grown-ups, we do the same thing. However, our problems are things like, how do I get the internet working again, or what spices do I need to add to this dish to make it just right. For children, when they are solving "problems" they are often getting into mischief.
Gwen has been able to entertain herself much better since she has started crawling and cruising. She can go get new toys, reach more things (both good and bad), and explore. When she became mobile, instead of becoming more vigilant, I let my guard down. I didn't have to anticipate her needs quite so much to keep a peaceful household because she was able now to meet some of her own needs. Unfortunately, she has used my newfound multitasking to her advantage.
About a week ago, I was ironing clothes in our foyer by the bottom of the stairs. This may seem like a weird location to iron, but I was able to push the ironing board up against two walls and hide the cord to the iron from little roaming hands. Gwen was playing on the floor next to me. She had been pulling herself up on the wrought iron railing for days and would walk along the wall, then place her hands on the second stair and continue her trip across the stair to the other wall. Keith had to leave soon for work, so I was very focused on ironing so he would have clothes to wear. I looked up at her, watched her standing on the floor with her hands on the second step. I ironed a pant leg. I looked back at my quiet, sweet baby, and she had one knee on the first step, one knee on the second step, and her hands were on the third step. She was quiet because she was throwing her full focus into climbing the stairs. She has not tried climbing the steps again because I swept her off of the steps, scaring her. Hopefully she stays good and scared until we are able to install our lower level gate.
A few of days ago, I set Gwen in her room to play with her stuffed animals while I walked 10 feet down the hall to the bathroom to brush my hair and get a hair tie. Surely, she couldn't get into trouble that quickly, right? Wrong. I noticed, once again, that she was being very quiet. When I walked into her nursery I found her standing next to a box of kleenex, pulling tissues out one at a time and discarding them on the floor beside her. Thankfully I caught her when she had only gotten through about 10 or 15.
Two days ago she was extra quiet and extra crafty. At one point, I was addressing some envelopes when she pulled herself up on the end table. I noticed that she looked about 6 inches taller than usual, at which point I went to the other side of the table. She was standing on a box so she could reach more things on the table. Later, as I was trying to finish addressing envelopes, she snuck behind my chair to the laundry basket of folded clothing. By the time I finished addressing my envelopes and got up to play with her I had a floor full of unfolded laundry.
So maybe a little crying isn't so bad. At least when there is noise I know where my child is and what she is doing.
Gwen has been able to entertain herself much better since she has started crawling and cruising. She can go get new toys, reach more things (both good and bad), and explore. When she became mobile, instead of becoming more vigilant, I let my guard down. I didn't have to anticipate her needs quite so much to keep a peaceful household because she was able now to meet some of her own needs. Unfortunately, she has used my newfound multitasking to her advantage.
About a week ago, I was ironing clothes in our foyer by the bottom of the stairs. This may seem like a weird location to iron, but I was able to push the ironing board up against two walls and hide the cord to the iron from little roaming hands. Gwen was playing on the floor next to me. She had been pulling herself up on the wrought iron railing for days and would walk along the wall, then place her hands on the second stair and continue her trip across the stair to the other wall. Keith had to leave soon for work, so I was very focused on ironing so he would have clothes to wear. I looked up at her, watched her standing on the floor with her hands on the second step. I ironed a pant leg. I looked back at my quiet, sweet baby, and she had one knee on the first step, one knee on the second step, and her hands were on the third step. She was quiet because she was throwing her full focus into climbing the stairs. She has not tried climbing the steps again because I swept her off of the steps, scaring her. Hopefully she stays good and scared until we are able to install our lower level gate.
A few of days ago, I set Gwen in her room to play with her stuffed animals while I walked 10 feet down the hall to the bathroom to brush my hair and get a hair tie. Surely, she couldn't get into trouble that quickly, right? Wrong. I noticed, once again, that she was being very quiet. When I walked into her nursery I found her standing next to a box of kleenex, pulling tissues out one at a time and discarding them on the floor beside her. Thankfully I caught her when she had only gotten through about 10 or 15.
Two days ago she was extra quiet and extra crafty. At one point, I was addressing some envelopes when she pulled herself up on the end table. I noticed that she looked about 6 inches taller than usual, at which point I went to the other side of the table. She was standing on a box so she could reach more things on the table. Later, as I was trying to finish addressing envelopes, she snuck behind my chair to the laundry basket of folded clothing. By the time I finished addressing my envelopes and got up to play with her I had a floor full of unfolded laundry.
So maybe a little crying isn't so bad. At least when there is noise I know where my child is and what she is doing.
The Hidden Costs of Raising Children
Keith and I entered parenthood knowing full well that it would be expensive. There are some expenses, like diapers, that are unavoidable. That is, unless you buy into that new craze of infant potty training, in which case I am sure that your expense is in carpet cleaners rather than diapers. There are other expenses, like baby gear, which are mostly for your child's enrichment. Gwen doesn't need a jumperoo, but she liked it and it did buy me about 30 minutes a day for a few months, and that is something on which you can't really put a price tag. Then there are the completely extravagant purchases. I try to keep these to a minimum, and I try to be smart about where I make these purchases. For example, I bought Gwen a Calvin Klein jean jacket for this past spring, and I have a Columbia fleece for this coming fall. However, I made both purchases at TJ Maxx, so it almost doesn't count. I am still on the lookout for a pair of Uggs. I saw some at a secondhand store downtown a few days ago, and might need to see if they are still available.
I think I recognized all of these as inevitable expenses that we would experience with Gwen. But there are several hidden costs that I did not expect. Here is a list of a few of the hidden costs that Keith and I have encountered in raising a baby:
1. Gas - I remember watching a movie with Keith, before I was pregnant with Gwen, in which the only way the main characters could get their baby to stop crying was by driving. Keith said, "I would never do that. That is such a waste of money." However, we never realized how much our baby would hate napping. I currently spend about 5-6 hours a week driving Gwen around while she naps. I try to drive 5-10 under the speed limit to save gas (unfortunately, often annoying other drivers), and I try to pick roads that have lower speed limits. Sometimes, I drive on the highway because it is the smoothest drive and is the most likely to keep Gwen asleep the longest. I have discovered that if I drive to the mall I can do loops at 25 mph, and I only have to contend with 3 stop signs each loop. If no one is around, I can do a rolling stop, thus avoiding jarring Gwen. While this is expensive, if Gwen falls asleep while we are out and about, I would rather listen to my audiobook than wake her and deal with the cranky repercussions. Plus, I have learned my way around Pittsburgh much better than Keith because of my exploratory driving.
2. Coffee - I used to be a Starbucks fiend. I would go every day during college and pay my $3.25 rent for a table at which to study. When I got to graduate school and realized that my stipend didn't stretch quite as far as I would like I decided to brew my own coffee at home. I would sometimes go for months without Starbucks, and if I got Starbucks, I went with a friend for a relatively cheap get-together. Since having a baby, the Starbucks runs have become more numerous. When Gwen was only a couple of months old, she napped super well at Starbucks - I think it must have been the sound of blenders and espresso machines in the background that made her relax. If I couldn't get her to calm down at home, we would go out for coffee. Then, when Keith and I were selling our house and I had to leave during showings, I started frequenting Starbucks for a little activity to do before Gwen and I would circle the neighborhood for the remainder of the hour. Since we have moved to Pittsburgh, I am just as sleep deprived as ever, and partake in a Starbucks beverage almost daily. At this point I do it for two reasons. 1.) I am tired and operating heavy machinery, ergo I should at least be well caffeinated. 2.) I think I deserve a coffee treat for my hard work as a stay at home mommy.
3. Convenience foods - I enjoy cooking and baking from scratch. However, I just don't have the time to do it anymore. I want to set a good example for Gwen and cook real foods. But sometimes those real foods come pre-chopped and packaged in small quantities. I used to buy whole pineapples and cut them up myself. I would make a giant fruit salad with melon, berries, etc. Now I buy my fruit pre-cut because I know if I don't buy it that way I won't eat it at all. I also buy pre-cut veggies, and frozen foods. I think I have prepared and eaten more frozen foods since moving to Pittsburgh than I have in the nearly 5 years that Keith and I have been together prior to our move. Also, I sincerely thought I would make all of Gwen's baby foods. But I feel much less bad when she wastes a jar of Gerber food because she decides she no longer likes it than the pureed butternut squash that I painstakingly cooked instead of getting an extra hour of sleep.
4. Going out to eat - Keith and I have attempted to be frugal during our 3 years of marriage. While doctors make good money, doctors in training do not. We decided while we were dating that we would only rarely go out to eat and even more rarely go to the movies. We have not been to a movie in over a year. But we have been out to eat in the last couple of days. Gwen loves people watching, when she is inconsolable I can't get a free moment to cook, so going out to eat is more of a 2 birds, 1 stone scenario. On Tuesday, Gwen was cranky for most of the day. She has had a cold since last week and is not handling it gracefully - however, Keith and I don't handle being sick too gracefully, so I can't say that I blame her. I was fried by the end of the day, so Keith and I decided to go to Eat'n'Park (a restaurant that I have become familiar with since moving to the Burgh). She was happy for the entire time we were there. We sat next to the salad bar and she watched people come through and fill up their plates. The waitress also gave her a free smiley cookie. One of Gwen's fav places to go out to eat is Chipotle. She is able to watch the patrons and the burrito preparers. Plus, we get her a little cup of guacamole.
5. Activities - I try to find free activities. We play in the mall play area, go window shopping (which sometimes turns into shopping shopping if we find a good deal), and play outside. But you can only do those things so much when you have a baby that frequently demands new venues. Because of this, I signed Gwen up for Gymboree. It is $70 a month, but we are able to go and play there for 45 minutes to 2 hours 15 minutes every day, depending on the activities that they have available for her age group. She loves it! I don't love the price tag, but I guess I am likely to spend that much in window shopping turning into shopping shopping if I spent all of that time shopping. Plus, I'm pretty sure Gwen gets more out of Gymboree than shopping. Recently, Keith and I have been considering a Carnegie Museums membership. I have never considered a museum membership before. I have never needed to. If I wanted to go to a museum, I would go early in the day and stay the entire day to get my money's worth. Gwen is generally done with an activity after just 1-2 hours and then decides it is time to sleep. Now museum membership is a must. I think we found a good deal, though: $150 for 4 museums for unlimited entry for the entire year. They are really good museums too! It's the natural history museum, the science museum, the Warhol museum, and the art museum. In fact, it's cheaper to get a membership than it would be to visit all 4 museums and pay general admission, so I figure it is worth it. Plus, she'll really like the dinosaur bones and science activities, I'm sure.
So having a baby has been expensive in unexpected ways. At least we are getting out of the house and aren't being quite so cheap anymore. Maybe we will be just as enriched by these experiences as Gwen.
I think I recognized all of these as inevitable expenses that we would experience with Gwen. But there are several hidden costs that I did not expect. Here is a list of a few of the hidden costs that Keith and I have encountered in raising a baby:
1. Gas - I remember watching a movie with Keith, before I was pregnant with Gwen, in which the only way the main characters could get their baby to stop crying was by driving. Keith said, "I would never do that. That is such a waste of money." However, we never realized how much our baby would hate napping. I currently spend about 5-6 hours a week driving Gwen around while she naps. I try to drive 5-10 under the speed limit to save gas (unfortunately, often annoying other drivers), and I try to pick roads that have lower speed limits. Sometimes, I drive on the highway because it is the smoothest drive and is the most likely to keep Gwen asleep the longest. I have discovered that if I drive to the mall I can do loops at 25 mph, and I only have to contend with 3 stop signs each loop. If no one is around, I can do a rolling stop, thus avoiding jarring Gwen. While this is expensive, if Gwen falls asleep while we are out and about, I would rather listen to my audiobook than wake her and deal with the cranky repercussions. Plus, I have learned my way around Pittsburgh much better than Keith because of my exploratory driving.
2. Coffee - I used to be a Starbucks fiend. I would go every day during college and pay my $3.25 rent for a table at which to study. When I got to graduate school and realized that my stipend didn't stretch quite as far as I would like I decided to brew my own coffee at home. I would sometimes go for months without Starbucks, and if I got Starbucks, I went with a friend for a relatively cheap get-together. Since having a baby, the Starbucks runs have become more numerous. When Gwen was only a couple of months old, she napped super well at Starbucks - I think it must have been the sound of blenders and espresso machines in the background that made her relax. If I couldn't get her to calm down at home, we would go out for coffee. Then, when Keith and I were selling our house and I had to leave during showings, I started frequenting Starbucks for a little activity to do before Gwen and I would circle the neighborhood for the remainder of the hour. Since we have moved to Pittsburgh, I am just as sleep deprived as ever, and partake in a Starbucks beverage almost daily. At this point I do it for two reasons. 1.) I am tired and operating heavy machinery, ergo I should at least be well caffeinated. 2.) I think I deserve a coffee treat for my hard work as a stay at home mommy.
3. Convenience foods - I enjoy cooking and baking from scratch. However, I just don't have the time to do it anymore. I want to set a good example for Gwen and cook real foods. But sometimes those real foods come pre-chopped and packaged in small quantities. I used to buy whole pineapples and cut them up myself. I would make a giant fruit salad with melon, berries, etc. Now I buy my fruit pre-cut because I know if I don't buy it that way I won't eat it at all. I also buy pre-cut veggies, and frozen foods. I think I have prepared and eaten more frozen foods since moving to Pittsburgh than I have in the nearly 5 years that Keith and I have been together prior to our move. Also, I sincerely thought I would make all of Gwen's baby foods. But I feel much less bad when she wastes a jar of Gerber food because she decides she no longer likes it than the pureed butternut squash that I painstakingly cooked instead of getting an extra hour of sleep.
4. Going out to eat - Keith and I have attempted to be frugal during our 3 years of marriage. While doctors make good money, doctors in training do not. We decided while we were dating that we would only rarely go out to eat and even more rarely go to the movies. We have not been to a movie in over a year. But we have been out to eat in the last couple of days. Gwen loves people watching, when she is inconsolable I can't get a free moment to cook, so going out to eat is more of a 2 birds, 1 stone scenario. On Tuesday, Gwen was cranky for most of the day. She has had a cold since last week and is not handling it gracefully - however, Keith and I don't handle being sick too gracefully, so I can't say that I blame her. I was fried by the end of the day, so Keith and I decided to go to Eat'n'Park (a restaurant that I have become familiar with since moving to the Burgh). She was happy for the entire time we were there. We sat next to the salad bar and she watched people come through and fill up their plates. The waitress also gave her a free smiley cookie. One of Gwen's fav places to go out to eat is Chipotle. She is able to watch the patrons and the burrito preparers. Plus, we get her a little cup of guacamole.
5. Activities - I try to find free activities. We play in the mall play area, go window shopping (which sometimes turns into shopping shopping if we find a good deal), and play outside. But you can only do those things so much when you have a baby that frequently demands new venues. Because of this, I signed Gwen up for Gymboree. It is $70 a month, but we are able to go and play there for 45 minutes to 2 hours 15 minutes every day, depending on the activities that they have available for her age group. She loves it! I don't love the price tag, but I guess I am likely to spend that much in window shopping turning into shopping shopping if I spent all of that time shopping. Plus, I'm pretty sure Gwen gets more out of Gymboree than shopping. Recently, Keith and I have been considering a Carnegie Museums membership. I have never considered a museum membership before. I have never needed to. If I wanted to go to a museum, I would go early in the day and stay the entire day to get my money's worth. Gwen is generally done with an activity after just 1-2 hours and then decides it is time to sleep. Now museum membership is a must. I think we found a good deal, though: $150 for 4 museums for unlimited entry for the entire year. They are really good museums too! It's the natural history museum, the science museum, the Warhol museum, and the art museum. In fact, it's cheaper to get a membership than it would be to visit all 4 museums and pay general admission, so I figure it is worth it. Plus, she'll really like the dinosaur bones and science activities, I'm sure.
So having a baby has been expensive in unexpected ways. At least we are getting out of the house and aren't being quite so cheap anymore. Maybe we will be just as enriched by these experiences as Gwen.
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Unexpected Lessons I Have Learned From Motherhood
I have learned several things since becoming a mother. There were some things for which I was prepared (i.e. changing a large number of diapers) but some that completely blind sided me. Here is a list of some of the things that I have learned:
1. In the hierarchy of toys, baby toys are at the bottom. Here is a list of desirability of toys in descending order: electronics > trash > dog food > dog toys > baby toys.
2. My glasses will likely never be clean of greasy little fingerprints ever again.
3. Baby fingernails are the sharpest substance on the planet.
4. No matter how tightly I manage to tie my hair back into a pony tail to prevent hair pulling, Gwen somehow seems to grab the plastered back hair. This results in both pain and a funny looking hair-do in which slicked back hair is interrupted by a mound that sticks up.
5. The thing you worry most about during pregnancy will be no problem, while something that was only an afterthought will become a battle. I was so worried while pregnant that I would not be able to breastfeed. Now I laugh about that since milk is Gwen's favorite thing. She nurses 10-20 times a day and is a milk seeking missile. I never really thought about diaper rash. I had one tube of cream that I thought would last indefinitely. I believe, however, that we have spent about $400 on diaper rash creams since G was born.
6. Gwen is able to expand her body volume several times its usual size at bedtime. Or at least that's what it feels like at 2 in the morning when she somehow gets 50% of the bed while Keith and I share the other 50%.
7. My food is no longer my food. My food is our food. I will never again be able to sit down and enjoy a sandwich, fancy coffee drink, or ice cream without Gwen reaching for it and throwing a fit if I don't share.
8. My baby has more numerous and nicer clothes than me. Additionally, I am usually walking around with some sort of baby body fluid on my clothes.
9. When you are able to sleep through an entire sleep cycle, you can conquer the world.
10. You can vacuum the entire floor, but baby will inevitably find the one area you missed and will proceed to eat whatever it is that she finds. This endearing trait will also continue in public. While shoe shopping 2 days ago, Gwen managed to find a package of silica gel that nearly made it into her mouth. I pointed out that it said on the package not to ingest it, but she seemed unfazed and continued to reach for her prize.
11. Babies can get laryngitis from loud, long bouts of crying.
12. If your baby wants something she shouldn't have, don't give it to her. I have made the mistake of giving Gwen my car keys. While it probably isn't a big deal and calms her in the short run, eventually I have to take them away to drive the car. Temporary appeasement turns into instant hysteria.
13. The more dangerous the activity, the more appealing it is. Some of Gwen's favorite activities include, 1.) electrical cord rope climbing (ending in a lamp falling off the table on top of her), 2.) pulling herself up on mobile, collapsible objects, and 3.) pulling the charging cord from my computer and sticking the live end of the wire into her mouth.
14. The baby items that you had to have your child will hate, and the ones that you claimed you would never buy become a staple of daily living. I was super excited by our stroller and thought Gwen and I would take daily walks. She, however, likes air conditioning, and hates restraint systems. While I am able to convince her to go on walks from time to time, it is usually in the luxury of a handmade baby sling, supplies costing about $3, rather than in her $150 stroller. I swore I would never buy a jumperoo or exersaucer. I believe the word I used to describe them was eyesore. But they were Gwen's favorite toys for a couple of months, and I was more than happy to litter my home with eyesores.
15. When outside, "greens" become much more desirable to babies than at the kitchen table. I often find weeds, leaves and grass in Gwen's mouth. I call it a yard salad. Maybe she is demonstrating her adept skills at farming.
I will continue to expand this list. If you have any unexpected lessons that you have learned, please share!
1. In the hierarchy of toys, baby toys are at the bottom. Here is a list of desirability of toys in descending order: electronics > trash > dog food > dog toys > baby toys.
2. My glasses will likely never be clean of greasy little fingerprints ever again.
3. Baby fingernails are the sharpest substance on the planet.
4. No matter how tightly I manage to tie my hair back into a pony tail to prevent hair pulling, Gwen somehow seems to grab the plastered back hair. This results in both pain and a funny looking hair-do in which slicked back hair is interrupted by a mound that sticks up.
5. The thing you worry most about during pregnancy will be no problem, while something that was only an afterthought will become a battle. I was so worried while pregnant that I would not be able to breastfeed. Now I laugh about that since milk is Gwen's favorite thing. She nurses 10-20 times a day and is a milk seeking missile. I never really thought about diaper rash. I had one tube of cream that I thought would last indefinitely. I believe, however, that we have spent about $400 on diaper rash creams since G was born.
6. Gwen is able to expand her body volume several times its usual size at bedtime. Or at least that's what it feels like at 2 in the morning when she somehow gets 50% of the bed while Keith and I share the other 50%.
7. My food is no longer my food. My food is our food. I will never again be able to sit down and enjoy a sandwich, fancy coffee drink, or ice cream without Gwen reaching for it and throwing a fit if I don't share.
8. My baby has more numerous and nicer clothes than me. Additionally, I am usually walking around with some sort of baby body fluid on my clothes.
9. When you are able to sleep through an entire sleep cycle, you can conquer the world.
10. You can vacuum the entire floor, but baby will inevitably find the one area you missed and will proceed to eat whatever it is that she finds. This endearing trait will also continue in public. While shoe shopping 2 days ago, Gwen managed to find a package of silica gel that nearly made it into her mouth. I pointed out that it said on the package not to ingest it, but she seemed unfazed and continued to reach for her prize.
11. Babies can get laryngitis from loud, long bouts of crying.
12. If your baby wants something she shouldn't have, don't give it to her. I have made the mistake of giving Gwen my car keys. While it probably isn't a big deal and calms her in the short run, eventually I have to take them away to drive the car. Temporary appeasement turns into instant hysteria.
13. The more dangerous the activity, the more appealing it is. Some of Gwen's favorite activities include, 1.) electrical cord rope climbing (ending in a lamp falling off the table on top of her), 2.) pulling herself up on mobile, collapsible objects, and 3.) pulling the charging cord from my computer and sticking the live end of the wire into her mouth.
14. The baby items that you had to have your child will hate, and the ones that you claimed you would never buy become a staple of daily living. I was super excited by our stroller and thought Gwen and I would take daily walks. She, however, likes air conditioning, and hates restraint systems. While I am able to convince her to go on walks from time to time, it is usually in the luxury of a handmade baby sling, supplies costing about $3, rather than in her $150 stroller. I swore I would never buy a jumperoo or exersaucer. I believe the word I used to describe them was eyesore. But they were Gwen's favorite toys for a couple of months, and I was more than happy to litter my home with eyesores.
15. When outside, "greens" become much more desirable to babies than at the kitchen table. I often find weeds, leaves and grass in Gwen's mouth. I call it a yard salad. Maybe she is demonstrating her adept skills at farming.
I will continue to expand this list. If you have any unexpected lessons that you have learned, please share!
Thursday, August 30, 2012
Middle Spoon
If you have never heard the phrase "Middle Spoon," please let me explain. Spooning is when two people lay down next to each other on their sides and one person's body forms a spoon shape around the person in front of them.
You can only have a middle spoon, however, if there are three people laying next to one another. The middle spoon is being spooned by the person on one side of them and spooning the person on the other side of them.
You can call middle spoon much like you would call shotgun.
In our household, I regularly hold the spot of middle spoon. Gwen, at 8 months, is sleeping in our bed. Keith is on my left, and, except for rare occasions, Gwen is on my right. Gwen sometimes wins the coveted position of middle spoon if my back starts hurting from nursing her on one side too much, but usually she is on my right so I can lay her in her co-sleeper inspired crib when I feel the need to only have two people and a poodle in the bed rather than three people and a poodle.
While I am in the middle spoon position in the bed, we don't lay like spoons. More often than not, if I lay on my side, Gwen faces me for easy food access. Plus, I am a stomach and back sleeper - not a side sleeper - so if I were any kitchen utensil I would likely be a knife.
Last night, I was filled with giggles after I made some observations about our sleeping arrangement. I was laying on my back with Gwen nuzzled up next to me. I had my arm stretched out across the top of her head and bent back towards the headboard. My other arm was bent and draped across my belly. Then I noticed that Keith's arm was in contact with my head in the same way that my arm was in contact with Gwen's head. His arm, like mine, was folded back towards the headboard. His other arm, like mine, was bent and draped across his belly. At this point I thought, "We couldn't be more perfect for each other." Then I looked over to admire Gwen, and I noticed that her right arm was stretched out above her lamb stuffed animal in the same way that Keith and I had our arms stretched out and her other arm was bent and draped across her belly. Please see diagram below:
I don't know what type of utensil we were, but whatever it was we were all the same utensil.
You can only have a middle spoon, however, if there are three people laying next to one another. The middle spoon is being spooned by the person on one side of them and spooning the person on the other side of them.
You can call middle spoon much like you would call shotgun.
In our household, I regularly hold the spot of middle spoon. Gwen, at 8 months, is sleeping in our bed. Keith is on my left, and, except for rare occasions, Gwen is on my right. Gwen sometimes wins the coveted position of middle spoon if my back starts hurting from nursing her on one side too much, but usually she is on my right so I can lay her in her co-sleeper inspired crib when I feel the need to only have two people and a poodle in the bed rather than three people and a poodle.
While I am in the middle spoon position in the bed, we don't lay like spoons. More often than not, if I lay on my side, Gwen faces me for easy food access. Plus, I am a stomach and back sleeper - not a side sleeper - so if I were any kitchen utensil I would likely be a knife.
Last night, I was filled with giggles after I made some observations about our sleeping arrangement. I was laying on my back with Gwen nuzzled up next to me. I had my arm stretched out across the top of her head and bent back towards the headboard. My other arm was bent and draped across my belly. Then I noticed that Keith's arm was in contact with my head in the same way that my arm was in contact with Gwen's head. His arm, like mine, was folded back towards the headboard. His other arm, like mine, was bent and draped across his belly. At this point I thought, "We couldn't be more perfect for each other." Then I looked over to admire Gwen, and I noticed that her right arm was stretched out above her lamb stuffed animal in the same way that Keith and I had our arms stretched out and her other arm was bent and draped across her belly. Please see diagram below:
Friday, August 24, 2012
Making friends
I am facing an interesting problem for the first time in my life. I have absolutely no bloomin' idea how to make friends. I am 27 years old (I'll be 28 in just a couple of weeks), and all of my friends have kind of been handed to me on a silver platter. Let me explain.
When you are a little kid, as I once was, you are automatically friends with anyone who lives on your street or any of your parents' friends' children. It is a given. Let's call it friendship by proximity. There isn't much to friendship at that point. Do you like to play outside? Do you like barbies? Do you like cartoons? Cool. Let's be friends. Early friendships in life are easy to come by. Or at least I assume so. I guess I don't really remember that part of my life clearly, so I could be romanticizing what it is to be 3 years old. And, if you don't have real life friends, I'm pretty sure those of the imaginary variety are even easier to make.
When you start school, you become friends with the kids in your class. If you go to the same school from 1st grade through high school graduation, like I did, you often know the same circle of people from beginning to end. You spend quite a bit of time with them, you live near them, you have something in common - you go to the same school, you are both children/teenagers, etc - so you are friends.
Then you go to college. Once again, you often become friends with the "kids" in your class. There are a few awkward days before class starts where you make your temporary friends. You all know what I am talking about. These are the people who would not be your first choice for friends, but you don't have any friends yet, so you make do with the temporary friends until you connect with the people you like better. Then you don't have to pretend to like the original, temporary college friends anymore because you get to hang out with people who you actually like a lot better. It's okay though. Your temporary friends felt the same way and have moved on to their new friends, so no feelings are hurt. While I did have some first week friends at college who I never really made an effort to hang out with ever again, I would see them on campus and they became friends of friends, so I would talk to them from time to time. I guess we always had the first week of college in common. While I did make temporary friends, I also had the benefit of a couple of friends from high school going to my college, so I knew people right from the start.
After college, I went to graduate school. I didn't even have an awkward time where I made temporary friends before classes started for 2 reasons. 1.) My best friend just happened to apply to the same graduate school program as me, so we both moved to Columbus to go to OSU, and 2.) I went to Europe between college and graduate school, and had about 12 hours between when my flight landed back in the US and my grad school orientation. So I may not have had any friends for those 12 hours, other than the friend I brought with me, but that quickly changed.
I changed graduate programs after a couple of years. During graduate program 1 I had made friends, joined a church where I also made friends, and had gotten married. When I started graduate program 2, I not only got to keep my old friends, but I also made new friends. That is pretty much awesomesauce when it comes to making friends.
But now my dilemma: I have been living in Pittsburgh for 2 months now and I don't really have any friends here of which to speak and I don't know how to make friends. I'm not really sad about this - I keep pretty busy with Gwen and Keith, and I talk to my family every few days on the phone. I also talk to friends from other parts of the country from time to time. I'm just stating a fact that I am at a loss for how a grown-up stay-at-home mom makes friends.
I know I will make friends when we pick a church, but we haven't liked the churches that we have tried. Keith and his colleagues are way too busy to hang out outside of work, so I have only met them a couple of times and I couldn't tell you the name of any of their significant others. We joined the CMDA (Christian Medical and Dental Association), but have only been to one event, and are unsure of the next time we will see any of those people. I put Gwen in Gymboree so I could at least see other grown-ups a few times a week. I have made some progress in meeting some other mommies, but it is one of those things that takes time to get to know people, especially when people attend classes on a hit-or-miss basis. I don't want to be the creepy person who meets someone once, asks them for their phone number, and then calls them 30 minutes later to see if they want to get coffee (that is a good way to get your phone number blocked).
Really, what I need is some sort of mommy dating service. You make an online account and can make dates with other mommies in your area. You can match in 29 areas of compatibility: child's age, nap time, coffee drinker vs. non coffee drinker, etc. I read about something like this in Baby Talk magazine, and now I could kick myself for not writing down the web address. (Note: if anyone knows what I am talking about and did write down the web address, I would appreciate it if you could share it with me - I think it was in the January issue).
I've just got to say that I am thankful that I met and married Keith while in school. Now I know why so many love stories start with "We met in a bar" or "We met online." Because once you become a real, grown-up person, especially a grown-up person without a job, the playing field becomes a whole lot smaller for dating and friendship.
When you are a little kid, as I once was, you are automatically friends with anyone who lives on your street or any of your parents' friends' children. It is a given. Let's call it friendship by proximity. There isn't much to friendship at that point. Do you like to play outside? Do you like barbies? Do you like cartoons? Cool. Let's be friends. Early friendships in life are easy to come by. Or at least I assume so. I guess I don't really remember that part of my life clearly, so I could be romanticizing what it is to be 3 years old. And, if you don't have real life friends, I'm pretty sure those of the imaginary variety are even easier to make.
When you start school, you become friends with the kids in your class. If you go to the same school from 1st grade through high school graduation, like I did, you often know the same circle of people from beginning to end. You spend quite a bit of time with them, you live near them, you have something in common - you go to the same school, you are both children/teenagers, etc - so you are friends.
Then you go to college. Once again, you often become friends with the "kids" in your class. There are a few awkward days before class starts where you make your temporary friends. You all know what I am talking about. These are the people who would not be your first choice for friends, but you don't have any friends yet, so you make do with the temporary friends until you connect with the people you like better. Then you don't have to pretend to like the original, temporary college friends anymore because you get to hang out with people who you actually like a lot better. It's okay though. Your temporary friends felt the same way and have moved on to their new friends, so no feelings are hurt. While I did have some first week friends at college who I never really made an effort to hang out with ever again, I would see them on campus and they became friends of friends, so I would talk to them from time to time. I guess we always had the first week of college in common. While I did make temporary friends, I also had the benefit of a couple of friends from high school going to my college, so I knew people right from the start.
After college, I went to graduate school. I didn't even have an awkward time where I made temporary friends before classes started for 2 reasons. 1.) My best friend just happened to apply to the same graduate school program as me, so we both moved to Columbus to go to OSU, and 2.) I went to Europe between college and graduate school, and had about 12 hours between when my flight landed back in the US and my grad school orientation. So I may not have had any friends for those 12 hours, other than the friend I brought with me, but that quickly changed.
I changed graduate programs after a couple of years. During graduate program 1 I had made friends, joined a church where I also made friends, and had gotten married. When I started graduate program 2, I not only got to keep my old friends, but I also made new friends. That is pretty much awesomesauce when it comes to making friends.
But now my dilemma: I have been living in Pittsburgh for 2 months now and I don't really have any friends here of which to speak and I don't know how to make friends. I'm not really sad about this - I keep pretty busy with Gwen and Keith, and I talk to my family every few days on the phone. I also talk to friends from other parts of the country from time to time. I'm just stating a fact that I am at a loss for how a grown-up stay-at-home mom makes friends.
I know I will make friends when we pick a church, but we haven't liked the churches that we have tried. Keith and his colleagues are way too busy to hang out outside of work, so I have only met them a couple of times and I couldn't tell you the name of any of their significant others. We joined the CMDA (Christian Medical and Dental Association), but have only been to one event, and are unsure of the next time we will see any of those people. I put Gwen in Gymboree so I could at least see other grown-ups a few times a week. I have made some progress in meeting some other mommies, but it is one of those things that takes time to get to know people, especially when people attend classes on a hit-or-miss basis. I don't want to be the creepy person who meets someone once, asks them for their phone number, and then calls them 30 minutes later to see if they want to get coffee (that is a good way to get your phone number blocked).
Really, what I need is some sort of mommy dating service. You make an online account and can make dates with other mommies in your area. You can match in 29 areas of compatibility: child's age, nap time, coffee drinker vs. non coffee drinker, etc. I read about something like this in Baby Talk magazine, and now I could kick myself for not writing down the web address. (Note: if anyone knows what I am talking about and did write down the web address, I would appreciate it if you could share it with me - I think it was in the January issue).
I've just got to say that I am thankful that I met and married Keith while in school. Now I know why so many love stories start with "We met in a bar" or "We met online." Because once you become a real, grown-up person, especially a grown-up person without a job, the playing field becomes a whole lot smaller for dating and friendship.
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Babylemia
My friend Jess and I joke that her baby has babyrexia and my baby has babylemia. You see, Payton was almost 10 pounds when she was born. She is now almost a year and she weighs in somewhere between 15 and 16 pounds. Gwen, on the other hand, was 6 pounds when she was born. She is now 8 months and about 20.5 pounds. Oh, and she eats until she spits up.
I knew when she started taking Zantac that it wouldn't prevent spitting up. It decreased the stomach acid, but the doctor informed me that we would still have the laundry issues. Thankfully, however, once she started the medicine, she stopped eating so much. She had been eating to quell the pain from the stomach acid, so without the pain she didn't feel the need to eat as often. That lasted all of a month or so, until she realized that, 1.) She really likes to eat, and 2.) She was disgruntled because we were packing, selling our house, and moving, and she needed a coping mechanism for all of the change.
When Gwen was born she was tiny. She was only 6 pounds, approximately the 5th percentile for weight. When she was 1 month old she was only 7 pounds. Then the reflux started and by the time she was 2 months she was 10 pounds. When she was 4 months she was 15.5 pounds (from 2 months of constant eating). This may not sound very big for a 4 month old, but she was super short, so she looked like a little sumo wrestler. Shortly after that, we started the Zantac, and over the next 2 months she only gained 1.5 pounds, was not eating as often, and gained some height. She was starting to slim out, and was becoming more active.
Over the last 6-7 weeks, since we have moved from Columbus, Gwen has turned back into a cream puff. She gained over 3 pounds, and I don't think she gained any inches. I'm not really surprised that she gained weight so quickly. She is eating every 1-2 hours day and night (yes, night too). I try to not feed her during the night, but I have gotten so tired that I don't have the energy to fight her. The first few times she wakes up I am still awake (she usually wakes up about 3 times during the 2 hours between when I put her to bed and when I go to bed) and I try to soothe her back to sleep without the aid of milk. After that, however, I give up and do anything it takes to get her to go back to sleep quickly so I can go back to sleep quickly.
Her babylemia is so bad that she would be perfectly content being latched on to my chest 24 hours a day, alternating eating and spitting up. You think I'm exaggerating. I'm not. I have had a few instances where I have used breast milk as kryptonite in order to get some peace. One such time, I was making a phone call to an old friend. Gwen did need to eat, but she is usually able to finish eating in about 5 minutes. She stayed latched on for 45 minutes. I didn't think this was a problem (you know, whatever makes her happy!) until she spit up while she was still latched on. I had warm, curdled milk running down my abdomen. She spent the rest of the day spitting up since her belly was so full. Even though she was full, if I would have offered to let her nurse again I can tell you without a doubt that she would have accepted.
One of the funniest things to witness when it comes to Gwen is her post-bath bedtime routine (it makes me laugh so hard that if I were not exposed during this process to feed her I would video tape her). She is generally happy in the bath. But the bath is a wonderful place in which rubber duckies float and the edge of the tub is the perfect height for standing. When we take her out of the bath she is upset about 2 things: she is no longer in the bath and she is not eating. Less than 3 minutes elapse between exiting the tub and her bedtime meal, but those three minutes are filled with angry yelling and crying from Gwen. In order to expedite the process, Keith will dry her off and put her diaper on while I get ready in the glider. I'll put a pillow on my lap to bring her up to the correct height and will pull my shirt up so she can begin eating immediately. Gwen also wants to be sure that she begins eating immediately, so much so that Keith will turn her horizontal when she is still halfway across the room and she will open her mouth when she is still 3-4 feet away - Gwen doesn't want to waste valuable time having to open her mouth to eat after she is on my lap. She is always prepared. She is like a milk seeking missile, locked, loaded, and coming in for landing on my breast.
I was worried that Gwen might already have overridden her full signal, but that appears to be intact. She will drink breastmilk all the livelong day, but if you try to give her one too many bites of solid food you end up with a screaming baby on your hands.
I knew when she started taking Zantac that it wouldn't prevent spitting up. It decreased the stomach acid, but the doctor informed me that we would still have the laundry issues. Thankfully, however, once she started the medicine, she stopped eating so much. She had been eating to quell the pain from the stomach acid, so without the pain she didn't feel the need to eat as often. That lasted all of a month or so, until she realized that, 1.) She really likes to eat, and 2.) She was disgruntled because we were packing, selling our house, and moving, and she needed a coping mechanism for all of the change.
When Gwen was born she was tiny. She was only 6 pounds, approximately the 5th percentile for weight. When she was 1 month old she was only 7 pounds. Then the reflux started and by the time she was 2 months she was 10 pounds. When she was 4 months she was 15.5 pounds (from 2 months of constant eating). This may not sound very big for a 4 month old, but she was super short, so she looked like a little sumo wrestler. Shortly after that, we started the Zantac, and over the next 2 months she only gained 1.5 pounds, was not eating as often, and gained some height. She was starting to slim out, and was becoming more active.
Over the last 6-7 weeks, since we have moved from Columbus, Gwen has turned back into a cream puff. She gained over 3 pounds, and I don't think she gained any inches. I'm not really surprised that she gained weight so quickly. She is eating every 1-2 hours day and night (yes, night too). I try to not feed her during the night, but I have gotten so tired that I don't have the energy to fight her. The first few times she wakes up I am still awake (she usually wakes up about 3 times during the 2 hours between when I put her to bed and when I go to bed) and I try to soothe her back to sleep without the aid of milk. After that, however, I give up and do anything it takes to get her to go back to sleep quickly so I can go back to sleep quickly.
Her babylemia is so bad that she would be perfectly content being latched on to my chest 24 hours a day, alternating eating and spitting up. You think I'm exaggerating. I'm not. I have had a few instances where I have used breast milk as kryptonite in order to get some peace. One such time, I was making a phone call to an old friend. Gwen did need to eat, but she is usually able to finish eating in about 5 minutes. She stayed latched on for 45 minutes. I didn't think this was a problem (you know, whatever makes her happy!) until she spit up while she was still latched on. I had warm, curdled milk running down my abdomen. She spent the rest of the day spitting up since her belly was so full. Even though she was full, if I would have offered to let her nurse again I can tell you without a doubt that she would have accepted.
One of the funniest things to witness when it comes to Gwen is her post-bath bedtime routine (it makes me laugh so hard that if I were not exposed during this process to feed her I would video tape her). She is generally happy in the bath. But the bath is a wonderful place in which rubber duckies float and the edge of the tub is the perfect height for standing. When we take her out of the bath she is upset about 2 things: she is no longer in the bath and she is not eating. Less than 3 minutes elapse between exiting the tub and her bedtime meal, but those three minutes are filled with angry yelling and crying from Gwen. In order to expedite the process, Keith will dry her off and put her diaper on while I get ready in the glider. I'll put a pillow on my lap to bring her up to the correct height and will pull my shirt up so she can begin eating immediately. Gwen also wants to be sure that she begins eating immediately, so much so that Keith will turn her horizontal when she is still halfway across the room and she will open her mouth when she is still 3-4 feet away - Gwen doesn't want to waste valuable time having to open her mouth to eat after she is on my lap. She is always prepared. She is like a milk seeking missile, locked, loaded, and coming in for landing on my breast.
I was worried that Gwen might already have overridden her full signal, but that appears to be intact. She will drink breastmilk all the livelong day, but if you try to give her one too many bites of solid food you end up with a screaming baby on your hands.
Monday, August 20, 2012
naptime (aka screamfest)
Gwen has had several highs and lows when it comes to napping. I would have to say the lowest low came after our first move (for those of you who don't know, it took us 3 moves to get from Columbus to Pittsburgh). We would rock her to sleep and she would usually cry for about 30 minutes before each nap. Cry is actually an understatement; she would scream. No wonder she has had laryngitis three times already. 30 minutes of crying once a day wouldn't have been so bad, but she was taking 4-5 naps a day and would also cry like that before bedtime. Sometimes, after a half hour of trying, we would give up and let her be awake and cranky for a little while before trying again. At least cranky was better than screaming. This meant that daily she was crying (i.e. screaming) at least 3 hours.
After we moved the second time, into a short term apartment in Pittsburgh, I was able to reign in her crying to only about 10 minutes at each nap by letting her nap in our bed instead of in her pack and play (we didn't have a crib with us after we left my in-laws' house until we moved into our house). She was, however, still super grumpy during her awake time as she refused to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time.
The day we moved into our house, something magical happened. Gwen only took 3 naps. And one of them was more than an hour! As the weeks have passed in Pittsburgh (we have been here about 7 weeks now), Gwen has gone from taking five 30 minute naps to taking two 80 minute naps. I very much prefer the latter. She is generally happier during the day, she is able to stay awake for more than 90 minutes without melting into a puddle of tears, and (the best part) I only have to fight her to go to sleep 3 times a day now (2 naps and bedtime).
For the past month or so, naptime had actually become a peaceful, enjoyable experience. Gwen might fuss or cry for a few minutes, but she would eventually cuddle up next to me (yes, she was still in our bed or being rocked to sleep in a chair) and quietly drift into dreamland. But in the past week she has decided that laying down is for the birds. She knows how to crawl. She knows how to stand. And she is going to use her new skills, so help her.
I tried just letting her walk around the perimeter of her crib, hoping that she would tire herself out, lay down, and go to sleep (note: her crib is attached to our bed as a co-sleeper right now - it only has three sides, so it's not even like she is having to nap by herself - I am right there!). No such luck. She would eventually either hold onto the edge of the crib and scream because she was tired and couldn't fall asleep while standing, but was unwilling to lie down, or she would get so sleepy she would start tripping and falling over (onto a soft mattress) where she would start screaming because a.) she was no longer standing, and b.) apparently falling onto a soft mattress from standing is the end of the world.
So I started resorting to pinning her down. This is a miserable process. We'll use this nap as an example (she is napping next to me in our bed, and Simba has decided the crib is his bed for this nap). We just made a big shopping trip and she fell asleep in the car as we were pulling into our neighborhood. Often, when she has been asleep in the car for 10 minutes or more, I will just drive around and let her take her nap in the car since I don't want to have to fight her. But by the time we pulled into the driveway, she had been asleep for just 30 seconds, so I couldn't see the point of wasting gas. She woke up as soon as I turned off the car. We went inside and straight to bed. I turned out the light. I turned on the sound machine. I nursed her. She was happy, and since she had just fallen asleep in the car, I knew she was sleepy (she had been awake for almost 4 hours). I was hopeful that she would roll over after eating and fall right asleep. I was even halfway tempted to nurse her to sleep in order to keep the peace, but that is a habit that I have had to break more than once after having nights where I get woken about 20 times. Instead of falling right to sleep, she rolled over onto her side, but then kept rolling onto her belly. She hates being on her belly, so as soon as her belly hits any surface, she pulls her knees up underneath her and starts to crawl. When she starts to crawl she usually sets her sights on something that she can pull herself up with so she can stand and walk (since apparently, less than 2 weeks after learning to crawl, crawling is already for the birds...why crawl when you can cruise along furniture?). So she headed for the crib rails, and I knew that any hope that I had for a peaceful transition into dreamland was gone. After several minutes of her crawling, pulling herself up, standing, cruising, crying, me pulling her down to laying, and it all starting over again, I finally laid her down next to me, put pressure on her hip so she couldn't roll, and just hugged her while she cried herself to sleep.
Unfortunately, I think we are currently at a napping low. Thankfully, however, it only happens twice a day, and at least she is getting pretty good at locomotion.
After we moved the second time, into a short term apartment in Pittsburgh, I was able to reign in her crying to only about 10 minutes at each nap by letting her nap in our bed instead of in her pack and play (we didn't have a crib with us after we left my in-laws' house until we moved into our house). She was, however, still super grumpy during her awake time as she refused to sleep more than 30 minutes at a time.
The day we moved into our house, something magical happened. Gwen only took 3 naps. And one of them was more than an hour! As the weeks have passed in Pittsburgh (we have been here about 7 weeks now), Gwen has gone from taking five 30 minute naps to taking two 80 minute naps. I very much prefer the latter. She is generally happier during the day, she is able to stay awake for more than 90 minutes without melting into a puddle of tears, and (the best part) I only have to fight her to go to sleep 3 times a day now (2 naps and bedtime).
For the past month or so, naptime had actually become a peaceful, enjoyable experience. Gwen might fuss or cry for a few minutes, but she would eventually cuddle up next to me (yes, she was still in our bed or being rocked to sleep in a chair) and quietly drift into dreamland. But in the past week she has decided that laying down is for the birds. She knows how to crawl. She knows how to stand. And she is going to use her new skills, so help her.
I tried just letting her walk around the perimeter of her crib, hoping that she would tire herself out, lay down, and go to sleep (note: her crib is attached to our bed as a co-sleeper right now - it only has three sides, so it's not even like she is having to nap by herself - I am right there!). No such luck. She would eventually either hold onto the edge of the crib and scream because she was tired and couldn't fall asleep while standing, but was unwilling to lie down, or she would get so sleepy she would start tripping and falling over (onto a soft mattress) where she would start screaming because a.) she was no longer standing, and b.) apparently falling onto a soft mattress from standing is the end of the world.
So I started resorting to pinning her down. This is a miserable process. We'll use this nap as an example (she is napping next to me in our bed, and Simba has decided the crib is his bed for this nap). We just made a big shopping trip and she fell asleep in the car as we were pulling into our neighborhood. Often, when she has been asleep in the car for 10 minutes or more, I will just drive around and let her take her nap in the car since I don't want to have to fight her. But by the time we pulled into the driveway, she had been asleep for just 30 seconds, so I couldn't see the point of wasting gas. She woke up as soon as I turned off the car. We went inside and straight to bed. I turned out the light. I turned on the sound machine. I nursed her. She was happy, and since she had just fallen asleep in the car, I knew she was sleepy (she had been awake for almost 4 hours). I was hopeful that she would roll over after eating and fall right asleep. I was even halfway tempted to nurse her to sleep in order to keep the peace, but that is a habit that I have had to break more than once after having nights where I get woken about 20 times. Instead of falling right to sleep, she rolled over onto her side, but then kept rolling onto her belly. She hates being on her belly, so as soon as her belly hits any surface, she pulls her knees up underneath her and starts to crawl. When she starts to crawl she usually sets her sights on something that she can pull herself up with so she can stand and walk (since apparently, less than 2 weeks after learning to crawl, crawling is already for the birds...why crawl when you can cruise along furniture?). So she headed for the crib rails, and I knew that any hope that I had for a peaceful transition into dreamland was gone. After several minutes of her crawling, pulling herself up, standing, cruising, crying, me pulling her down to laying, and it all starting over again, I finally laid her down next to me, put pressure on her hip so she couldn't roll, and just hugged her while she cried herself to sleep.
Unfortunately, I think we are currently at a napping low. Thankfully, however, it only happens twice a day, and at least she is getting pretty good at locomotion.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)