Keith and I entered parenthood knowing full well that it would be expensive. There are some expenses, like diapers, that are unavoidable. That is, unless you buy into that new craze of infant potty training, in which case I am sure that your expense is in carpet cleaners rather than diapers. There are other expenses, like baby gear, which are mostly for your child's enrichment. Gwen doesn't need a jumperoo, but she liked it and it did buy me about 30 minutes a day for a few months, and that is something on which you can't really put a price tag. Then there are the completely extravagant purchases. I try to keep these to a minimum, and I try to be smart about where I make these purchases. For example, I bought Gwen a Calvin Klein jean jacket for this past spring, and I have a Columbia fleece for this coming fall. However, I made both purchases at TJ Maxx, so it almost doesn't count. I am still on the lookout for a pair of Uggs. I saw some at a secondhand store downtown a few days ago, and might need to see if they are still available.
I think I recognized all of these as inevitable expenses that we would experience with Gwen. But there are several hidden costs that I did not expect. Here is a list of a few of the hidden costs that Keith and I have encountered in raising a baby:
1. Gas - I remember watching a movie with Keith, before I was pregnant with Gwen, in which the only way the main characters could get their baby to stop crying was by driving. Keith said, "I would never do that. That is such a waste of money." However, we never realized how much our baby would hate napping. I currently spend about 5-6 hours a week driving Gwen around while she naps. I try to drive 5-10 under the speed limit to save gas (unfortunately, often annoying other drivers), and I try to pick roads that have lower speed limits. Sometimes, I drive on the highway because it is the smoothest drive and is the most likely to keep Gwen asleep the longest. I have discovered that if I drive to the mall I can do loops at 25 mph, and I only have to contend with 3 stop signs each loop. If no one is around, I can do a rolling stop, thus avoiding jarring Gwen. While this is expensive, if Gwen falls asleep while we are out and about, I would rather listen to my audiobook than wake her and deal with the cranky repercussions. Plus, I have learned my way around Pittsburgh much better than Keith because of my exploratory driving.
2. Coffee - I used to be a Starbucks fiend. I would go every day during college and pay my $3.25 rent for a table at which to study. When I got to graduate school and realized that my stipend didn't stretch quite as far as I would like I decided to brew my own coffee at home. I would sometimes go for months without Starbucks, and if I got Starbucks, I went with a friend for a relatively cheap get-together. Since having a baby, the Starbucks runs have become more numerous. When Gwen was only a couple of months old, she napped super well at Starbucks - I think it must have been the sound of blenders and espresso machines in the background that made her relax. If I couldn't get her to calm down at home, we would go out for coffee. Then, when Keith and I were selling our house and I had to leave during showings, I started frequenting Starbucks for a little activity to do before Gwen and I would circle the neighborhood for the remainder of the hour. Since we have moved to Pittsburgh, I am just as sleep deprived as ever, and partake in a Starbucks beverage almost daily. At this point I do it for two reasons. 1.) I am tired and operating heavy machinery, ergo I should at least be well caffeinated. 2.) I think I deserve a coffee treat for my hard work as a stay at home mommy.
3. Convenience foods - I enjoy cooking and baking from scratch. However, I just don't have the time to do it anymore. I want to set a good example for Gwen and cook real foods. But sometimes those real foods come pre-chopped and packaged in small quantities. I used to buy whole pineapples and cut them up myself. I would make a giant fruit salad with melon, berries, etc. Now I buy my fruit pre-cut because I know if I don't buy it that way I won't eat it at all. I also buy pre-cut veggies, and frozen foods. I think I have prepared and eaten more frozen foods since moving to Pittsburgh than I have in the nearly 5 years that Keith and I have been together prior to our move. Also, I sincerely thought I would make all of Gwen's baby foods. But I feel much less bad when she wastes a jar of Gerber food because she decides she no longer likes it than the pureed butternut squash that I painstakingly cooked instead of getting an extra hour of sleep.
4. Going out to eat - Keith and I have attempted to be frugal during our 3 years of marriage. While doctors make good money, doctors in training do not. We decided while we were dating that we would only rarely go out to eat and even more rarely go to the movies. We have not been to a movie in over a year. But we have been out to eat in the last couple of days. Gwen loves people watching, when she is inconsolable I can't get a free moment to cook, so going out to eat is more of a 2 birds, 1 stone scenario. On Tuesday, Gwen was cranky for most of the day. She has had a cold since last week and is not handling it gracefully - however, Keith and I don't handle being sick too gracefully, so I can't say that I blame her. I was fried by the end of the day, so Keith and I decided to go to Eat'n'Park (a restaurant that I have become familiar with since moving to the Burgh). She was happy for the entire time we were there. We sat next to the salad bar and she watched people come through and fill up their plates. The waitress also gave her a free smiley cookie. One of Gwen's fav places to go out to eat is Chipotle. She is able to watch the patrons and the burrito preparers. Plus, we get her a little cup of guacamole.
5. Activities - I try to find free activities. We play in the mall play area, go window shopping (which sometimes turns into shopping shopping if we find a good deal), and play outside. But you can only do those things so much when you have a baby that frequently demands new venues. Because of this, I signed Gwen up for Gymboree. It is $70 a month, but we are able to go and play there for 45 minutes to 2 hours 15 minutes every day, depending on the activities that they have available for her age group. She loves it! I don't love the price tag, but I guess I am likely to spend that much in window shopping turning into shopping shopping if I spent all of that time shopping. Plus, I'm pretty sure Gwen gets more out of Gymboree than shopping. Recently, Keith and I have been considering a Carnegie Museums membership. I have never considered a museum membership before. I have never needed to. If I wanted to go to a museum, I would go early in the day and stay the entire day to get my money's worth. Gwen is generally done with an activity after just 1-2 hours and then decides it is time to sleep. Now museum membership is a must. I think we found a good deal, though: $150 for 4 museums for unlimited entry for the entire year. They are really good museums too! It's the natural history museum, the science museum, the Warhol museum, and the art museum. In fact, it's cheaper to get a membership than it would be to visit all 4 museums and pay general admission, so I figure it is worth it. Plus, she'll really like the dinosaur bones and science activities, I'm sure.
So having a baby has been expensive in unexpected ways. At least we are getting out of the house and aren't being quite so cheap anymore. Maybe we will be just as enriched by these experiences as Gwen.
I think I recognized all of these as inevitable expenses that we would experience with Gwen. But there are several hidden costs that I did not expect. Here is a list of a few of the hidden costs that Keith and I have encountered in raising a baby:
1. Gas - I remember watching a movie with Keith, before I was pregnant with Gwen, in which the only way the main characters could get their baby to stop crying was by driving. Keith said, "I would never do that. That is such a waste of money." However, we never realized how much our baby would hate napping. I currently spend about 5-6 hours a week driving Gwen around while she naps. I try to drive 5-10 under the speed limit to save gas (unfortunately, often annoying other drivers), and I try to pick roads that have lower speed limits. Sometimes, I drive on the highway because it is the smoothest drive and is the most likely to keep Gwen asleep the longest. I have discovered that if I drive to the mall I can do loops at 25 mph, and I only have to contend with 3 stop signs each loop. If no one is around, I can do a rolling stop, thus avoiding jarring Gwen. While this is expensive, if Gwen falls asleep while we are out and about, I would rather listen to my audiobook than wake her and deal with the cranky repercussions. Plus, I have learned my way around Pittsburgh much better than Keith because of my exploratory driving.
2. Coffee - I used to be a Starbucks fiend. I would go every day during college and pay my $3.25 rent for a table at which to study. When I got to graduate school and realized that my stipend didn't stretch quite as far as I would like I decided to brew my own coffee at home. I would sometimes go for months without Starbucks, and if I got Starbucks, I went with a friend for a relatively cheap get-together. Since having a baby, the Starbucks runs have become more numerous. When Gwen was only a couple of months old, she napped super well at Starbucks - I think it must have been the sound of blenders and espresso machines in the background that made her relax. If I couldn't get her to calm down at home, we would go out for coffee. Then, when Keith and I were selling our house and I had to leave during showings, I started frequenting Starbucks for a little activity to do before Gwen and I would circle the neighborhood for the remainder of the hour. Since we have moved to Pittsburgh, I am just as sleep deprived as ever, and partake in a Starbucks beverage almost daily. At this point I do it for two reasons. 1.) I am tired and operating heavy machinery, ergo I should at least be well caffeinated. 2.) I think I deserve a coffee treat for my hard work as a stay at home mommy.
3. Convenience foods - I enjoy cooking and baking from scratch. However, I just don't have the time to do it anymore. I want to set a good example for Gwen and cook real foods. But sometimes those real foods come pre-chopped and packaged in small quantities. I used to buy whole pineapples and cut them up myself. I would make a giant fruit salad with melon, berries, etc. Now I buy my fruit pre-cut because I know if I don't buy it that way I won't eat it at all. I also buy pre-cut veggies, and frozen foods. I think I have prepared and eaten more frozen foods since moving to Pittsburgh than I have in the nearly 5 years that Keith and I have been together prior to our move. Also, I sincerely thought I would make all of Gwen's baby foods. But I feel much less bad when she wastes a jar of Gerber food because she decides she no longer likes it than the pureed butternut squash that I painstakingly cooked instead of getting an extra hour of sleep.
4. Going out to eat - Keith and I have attempted to be frugal during our 3 years of marriage. While doctors make good money, doctors in training do not. We decided while we were dating that we would only rarely go out to eat and even more rarely go to the movies. We have not been to a movie in over a year. But we have been out to eat in the last couple of days. Gwen loves people watching, when she is inconsolable I can't get a free moment to cook, so going out to eat is more of a 2 birds, 1 stone scenario. On Tuesday, Gwen was cranky for most of the day. She has had a cold since last week and is not handling it gracefully - however, Keith and I don't handle being sick too gracefully, so I can't say that I blame her. I was fried by the end of the day, so Keith and I decided to go to Eat'n'Park (a restaurant that I have become familiar with since moving to the Burgh). She was happy for the entire time we were there. We sat next to the salad bar and she watched people come through and fill up their plates. The waitress also gave her a free smiley cookie. One of Gwen's fav places to go out to eat is Chipotle. She is able to watch the patrons and the burrito preparers. Plus, we get her a little cup of guacamole.
5. Activities - I try to find free activities. We play in the mall play area, go window shopping (which sometimes turns into shopping shopping if we find a good deal), and play outside. But you can only do those things so much when you have a baby that frequently demands new venues. Because of this, I signed Gwen up for Gymboree. It is $70 a month, but we are able to go and play there for 45 minutes to 2 hours 15 minutes every day, depending on the activities that they have available for her age group. She loves it! I don't love the price tag, but I guess I am likely to spend that much in window shopping turning into shopping shopping if I spent all of that time shopping. Plus, I'm pretty sure Gwen gets more out of Gymboree than shopping. Recently, Keith and I have been considering a Carnegie Museums membership. I have never considered a museum membership before. I have never needed to. If I wanted to go to a museum, I would go early in the day and stay the entire day to get my money's worth. Gwen is generally done with an activity after just 1-2 hours and then decides it is time to sleep. Now museum membership is a must. I think we found a good deal, though: $150 for 4 museums for unlimited entry for the entire year. They are really good museums too! It's the natural history museum, the science museum, the Warhol museum, and the art museum. In fact, it's cheaper to get a membership than it would be to visit all 4 museums and pay general admission, so I figure it is worth it. Plus, she'll really like the dinosaur bones and science activities, I'm sure.
So having a baby has been expensive in unexpected ways. At least we are getting out of the house and aren't being quite so cheap anymore. Maybe we will be just as enriched by these experiences as Gwen.
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