I have learned several things since becoming a mother. There were some things for which I was prepared (i.e. changing a large number of diapers) but some that completely blind sided me. Here is a list of some of the things that I have learned:
1. In the hierarchy of toys, baby toys are at the bottom. Here is a list of desirability of toys in descending order: electronics > trash > dog food > dog toys > baby toys.
2. My glasses will likely never be clean of greasy little fingerprints ever again.
3. Baby fingernails are the sharpest substance on the planet.
4. No matter how tightly I manage to tie my hair back into a pony tail to prevent hair pulling, Gwen somehow seems to grab the plastered back hair. This results in both pain and a funny looking hair-do in which slicked back hair is interrupted by a mound that sticks up.
5. The thing you worry most about during pregnancy will be no problem, while something that was only an afterthought will become a battle. I was so worried while pregnant that I would not be able to breastfeed. Now I laugh about that since milk is Gwen's favorite thing. She nurses 10-20 times a day and is a milk seeking missile. I never really thought about diaper rash. I had one tube of cream that I thought would last indefinitely. I believe, however, that we have spent about $400 on diaper rash creams since G was born.
6. Gwen is able to expand her body volume several times its usual size at bedtime. Or at least that's what it feels like at 2 in the morning when she somehow gets 50% of the bed while Keith and I share the other 50%.
7. My food is no longer my food. My food is our food. I will never again be able to sit down and enjoy a sandwich, fancy coffee drink, or ice cream without Gwen reaching for it and throwing a fit if I don't share.
8. My baby has more numerous and nicer clothes than me. Additionally, I am usually walking around with some sort of baby body fluid on my clothes.
9. When you are able to sleep through an entire sleep cycle, you can conquer the world.
10. You can vacuum the entire floor, but baby will inevitably find the one area you missed and will proceed to eat whatever it is that she finds. This endearing trait will also continue in public. While shoe shopping 2 days ago, Gwen managed to find a package of silica gel that nearly made it into her mouth. I pointed out that it said on the package not to ingest it, but she seemed unfazed and continued to reach for her prize.
11. Babies can get laryngitis from loud, long bouts of crying.
12. If your baby wants something she shouldn't have, don't give it to her. I have made the mistake of giving Gwen my car keys. While it probably isn't a big deal and calms her in the short run, eventually I have to take them away to drive the car. Temporary appeasement turns into instant hysteria.
13. The more dangerous the activity, the more appealing it is. Some of Gwen's favorite activities include, 1.) electrical cord rope climbing (ending in a lamp falling off the table on top of her), 2.) pulling herself up on mobile, collapsible objects, and 3.) pulling the charging cord from my computer and sticking the live end of the wire into her mouth.
14. The baby items that you had to have your child will hate, and the ones that you claimed you would never buy become a staple of daily living. I was super excited by our stroller and thought Gwen and I would take daily walks. She, however, likes air conditioning, and hates restraint systems. While I am able to convince her to go on walks from time to time, it is usually in the luxury of a handmade baby sling, supplies costing about $3, rather than in her $150 stroller. I swore I would never buy a jumperoo or exersaucer. I believe the word I used to describe them was eyesore. But they were Gwen's favorite toys for a couple of months, and I was more than happy to litter my home with eyesores.
15. When outside, "greens" become much more desirable to babies than at the kitchen table. I often find weeds, leaves and grass in Gwen's mouth. I call it a yard salad. Maybe she is demonstrating her adept skills at farming.
I will continue to expand this list. If you have any unexpected lessons that you have learned, please share!
1. In the hierarchy of toys, baby toys are at the bottom. Here is a list of desirability of toys in descending order: electronics > trash > dog food > dog toys > baby toys.
2. My glasses will likely never be clean of greasy little fingerprints ever again.
3. Baby fingernails are the sharpest substance on the planet.
4. No matter how tightly I manage to tie my hair back into a pony tail to prevent hair pulling, Gwen somehow seems to grab the plastered back hair. This results in both pain and a funny looking hair-do in which slicked back hair is interrupted by a mound that sticks up.
5. The thing you worry most about during pregnancy will be no problem, while something that was only an afterthought will become a battle. I was so worried while pregnant that I would not be able to breastfeed. Now I laugh about that since milk is Gwen's favorite thing. She nurses 10-20 times a day and is a milk seeking missile. I never really thought about diaper rash. I had one tube of cream that I thought would last indefinitely. I believe, however, that we have spent about $400 on diaper rash creams since G was born.
6. Gwen is able to expand her body volume several times its usual size at bedtime. Or at least that's what it feels like at 2 in the morning when she somehow gets 50% of the bed while Keith and I share the other 50%.
7. My food is no longer my food. My food is our food. I will never again be able to sit down and enjoy a sandwich, fancy coffee drink, or ice cream without Gwen reaching for it and throwing a fit if I don't share.
8. My baby has more numerous and nicer clothes than me. Additionally, I am usually walking around with some sort of baby body fluid on my clothes.
9. When you are able to sleep through an entire sleep cycle, you can conquer the world.
10. You can vacuum the entire floor, but baby will inevitably find the one area you missed and will proceed to eat whatever it is that she finds. This endearing trait will also continue in public. While shoe shopping 2 days ago, Gwen managed to find a package of silica gel that nearly made it into her mouth. I pointed out that it said on the package not to ingest it, but she seemed unfazed and continued to reach for her prize.
11. Babies can get laryngitis from loud, long bouts of crying.
12. If your baby wants something she shouldn't have, don't give it to her. I have made the mistake of giving Gwen my car keys. While it probably isn't a big deal and calms her in the short run, eventually I have to take them away to drive the car. Temporary appeasement turns into instant hysteria.
13. The more dangerous the activity, the more appealing it is. Some of Gwen's favorite activities include, 1.) electrical cord rope climbing (ending in a lamp falling off the table on top of her), 2.) pulling herself up on mobile, collapsible objects, and 3.) pulling the charging cord from my computer and sticking the live end of the wire into her mouth.
14. The baby items that you had to have your child will hate, and the ones that you claimed you would never buy become a staple of daily living. I was super excited by our stroller and thought Gwen and I would take daily walks. She, however, likes air conditioning, and hates restraint systems. While I am able to convince her to go on walks from time to time, it is usually in the luxury of a handmade baby sling, supplies costing about $3, rather than in her $150 stroller. I swore I would never buy a jumperoo or exersaucer. I believe the word I used to describe them was eyesore. But they were Gwen's favorite toys for a couple of months, and I was more than happy to litter my home with eyesores.
15. When outside, "greens" become much more desirable to babies than at the kitchen table. I often find weeds, leaves and grass in Gwen's mouth. I call it a yard salad. Maybe she is demonstrating her adept skills at farming.
I will continue to expand this list. If you have any unexpected lessons that you have learned, please share!
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