I heard friends talk about how difficult it was to shower daily after a baby came. For the first two weeks after Gwen was born, however, I would shower a couple of times a day. Keith was home on paternity leave, and because my pregnancy hormones were trying to normalize to non-pregnancy hormones, I was cold all the time and could only get warm by standing under near scalding water. Plus, they warn you to take warm (not hot) showers during pregnancy - I guess it can harm the baby? - and I am partial to super hot showers, so I had to make up for 9 months of luke warm showers.
That quickly changed when Keith went back to work. Gwen did not like to be set down. She would cry each time she was set down. The doctor said it was normal and to just hold her several hours a day (they go from being carried around in your womb 24 hours a day to living in a cold, independent world - can you blame them?), but I now think that it may have been foreshadowing things to come. I would generally hold her about 21 hours a day, Keith for 2 hours a day, and I would be able to set her down for about an hour a day, in 10 minute chunks. At that age, it can be damaging psychologically to let them cry as they are learning trust at that point (and I was never fond of the idea of crying it out), so it was more stressful to me to shower than to stay dirty until Keith got home. But often by the time he got home, I would be so tired all I would want to do was veg on the couch.
Gwen and I got into a routine over the next several months. When she was around 5 or 6 weeks old, she became more tolerant of being set down. She didn't like being left alone, but if I put her in a bouncy seat in the bathroom, she would sit quietly while I showered. I wasn't able to shower every day, but it was becoming a more frequent event.
When we were moving, shortly after Gwen turned 6 months old, I was lucky if I got to shower 2-3 times a week. She was in some strange places, Keith was super busy with work, and she was clinging to mommy like saran wrap. While I still refuse to let her cry it out, I am not against letting her struggle and cry for 10 minutes if I am in the middle of doing something. I will help her if she needs it, and I will meet her psychological needs, but she does need to learn some independence. However, if she has already spent 4 hours of the day crying, I will forsake cleanliness for quiet, and will cuddle her and play with her instead of letting her go it alone while I take a shower.
Thankfully, she has grown calmer as she has become more familiar with our new home. She also thinks that it is funny when mommy takes a bath, so I have been able to set her on the bath mat just outside of the tub with some toys scattered around and she has been able to entertain herself for the most part. Sometimes she starts to get fussy, and we will play a round of shower curtain peek-a-boo. I will first peek out of the left side of the tub, then the right, then the left, then the right, then the right. She recognizes the left-right-left-right pattern, and tries to find me on the left side the 5th time, which is why I change it up and do the right side the 5th time. She thinks this is hilarious. I am usually able to wash and condition my hair and accomplish one other beauty process (whether it be shaving, exfoliating, a facial scrub, pumicing my feet) before she has decided that mommy has been having mommy time entirely too long and needs to start back with Gwen time.
Showers got both easier and more challenging at the same time about a week ago. Gwen learned to crawl. This has been a blessing as she is better able to entertain herself. She can set a goal (a toy that is farther than arms reach) and achieve that goal (get said toy) without mommy's help. I have actually been able to accomplish some chores and cook some hot dinners this week. But in the shower, mommy is behind a curtain and Gwen doesn't like that. When she first started crawling, she was content to pull the shower curtain to the side so she could see mommy. This allowed some water to spray out of the shower, but I was usually able to aim the shower head to avoid making too big of a mess. That didn't last long. She quickly became obsessed with crawling to things, pulling herself up and trying to climb (thankfully she has not yet figured out the mechanics or developed the strength to climb, but that hasn't diminished her spirit and determination). This has created a problem both when I bathe and when Gwen bathes. When I am in the shower, she now tries to pull herself up on the slippery bathtub (slippery because she has pulled the curtain back and the side of the tub has gotten sprayed with water). She is usually fine, until she tries to a.) let go with one, or both hands, b.) cruise along the side of the tub, or c.) climb in, at which point she usually slips, loses her balance, and falls all the way to the floor where she hits her head on the ceramic tile. I think this scares her more than it hurts, but I can't imagine that ceramic tile is entirely a pleasant sensation on the back of one's head. At this point, she melts down into a puddle of tears and shower water and wants mommy to comfort her. The problem is that mommy is soaking wet and is covered in soap, and usually tries to just say, "You're okay. I know that was probably a bit scary, but you're not hurt. Just get up and play with some toys." This usually doesn't work, and I rush through the rest of my shower.
When Gwen bathes, she has decided that she wants to stand up the entire time. She is standing in water, grabbing the slippery, wet side of the bathtub, and is covered in slippery soap, so you can imagine that this does not go well. When Keith gives her a bath, he just makes her sit back down. Her response? Screaming because apparently sitting is the end of the world. When I give her a bath, I usually get two birds with one stone by just taking a bath with her. She tries to stand, but I don't really mind because I am with her and she isn't going to fall and bang her head or drown. But recently she has decided that my leg makes a good step for trying to climb out of the tub, so I don't know how much longer this might last.
Bathing has not been the peaceful experience that it was before Gwen was born, but last night my mother-in-law was baby sitting because Keith had a happy hour for work. She showed up early enough that I was able to take a shower all by myself! I don't remember the last time when I didn't have little infant eyes glaring at me while I have been in the shower! I felt so spoiled - you would think that I had been given a day at the spa with how excited I was. I went all out with my pampering - I got to shave both the tops and the bottoms of my legs in the same shower (lately it has been and either or thing because doing both seems to take enough time to push Gwen over the edge). When I got out of the shower, I blow dried my hair and straightened it. Then I put on make-up! Some mommies out there might think, "What's the big deal? I do that every day." To them I say, "You try to deal with Gwen day in and day out while your hubby works 70 hours a week and see how often you end up showered and properly groomed." She won't even nap by herself for more than 30 minutes for me to sneak off, shower, and get ready! Those mommies out there who don't have the perfect baby, however, know exactly what it is like to sometimes have a smelly, non-showered day.
That quickly changed when Keith went back to work. Gwen did not like to be set down. She would cry each time she was set down. The doctor said it was normal and to just hold her several hours a day (they go from being carried around in your womb 24 hours a day to living in a cold, independent world - can you blame them?), but I now think that it may have been foreshadowing things to come. I would generally hold her about 21 hours a day, Keith for 2 hours a day, and I would be able to set her down for about an hour a day, in 10 minute chunks. At that age, it can be damaging psychologically to let them cry as they are learning trust at that point (and I was never fond of the idea of crying it out), so it was more stressful to me to shower than to stay dirty until Keith got home. But often by the time he got home, I would be so tired all I would want to do was veg on the couch.
Gwen and I got into a routine over the next several months. When she was around 5 or 6 weeks old, she became more tolerant of being set down. She didn't like being left alone, but if I put her in a bouncy seat in the bathroom, she would sit quietly while I showered. I wasn't able to shower every day, but it was becoming a more frequent event.
When we were moving, shortly after Gwen turned 6 months old, I was lucky if I got to shower 2-3 times a week. She was in some strange places, Keith was super busy with work, and she was clinging to mommy like saran wrap. While I still refuse to let her cry it out, I am not against letting her struggle and cry for 10 minutes if I am in the middle of doing something. I will help her if she needs it, and I will meet her psychological needs, but she does need to learn some independence. However, if she has already spent 4 hours of the day crying, I will forsake cleanliness for quiet, and will cuddle her and play with her instead of letting her go it alone while I take a shower.
Thankfully, she has grown calmer as she has become more familiar with our new home. She also thinks that it is funny when mommy takes a bath, so I have been able to set her on the bath mat just outside of the tub with some toys scattered around and she has been able to entertain herself for the most part. Sometimes she starts to get fussy, and we will play a round of shower curtain peek-a-boo. I will first peek out of the left side of the tub, then the right, then the left, then the right, then the right. She recognizes the left-right-left-right pattern, and tries to find me on the left side the 5th time, which is why I change it up and do the right side the 5th time. She thinks this is hilarious. I am usually able to wash and condition my hair and accomplish one other beauty process (whether it be shaving, exfoliating, a facial scrub, pumicing my feet) before she has decided that mommy has been having mommy time entirely too long and needs to start back with Gwen time.
Showers got both easier and more challenging at the same time about a week ago. Gwen learned to crawl. This has been a blessing as she is better able to entertain herself. She can set a goal (a toy that is farther than arms reach) and achieve that goal (get said toy) without mommy's help. I have actually been able to accomplish some chores and cook some hot dinners this week. But in the shower, mommy is behind a curtain and Gwen doesn't like that. When she first started crawling, she was content to pull the shower curtain to the side so she could see mommy. This allowed some water to spray out of the shower, but I was usually able to aim the shower head to avoid making too big of a mess. That didn't last long. She quickly became obsessed with crawling to things, pulling herself up and trying to climb (thankfully she has not yet figured out the mechanics or developed the strength to climb, but that hasn't diminished her spirit and determination). This has created a problem both when I bathe and when Gwen bathes. When I am in the shower, she now tries to pull herself up on the slippery bathtub (slippery because she has pulled the curtain back and the side of the tub has gotten sprayed with water). She is usually fine, until she tries to a.) let go with one, or both hands, b.) cruise along the side of the tub, or c.) climb in, at which point she usually slips, loses her balance, and falls all the way to the floor where she hits her head on the ceramic tile. I think this scares her more than it hurts, but I can't imagine that ceramic tile is entirely a pleasant sensation on the back of one's head. At this point, she melts down into a puddle of tears and shower water and wants mommy to comfort her. The problem is that mommy is soaking wet and is covered in soap, and usually tries to just say, "You're okay. I know that was probably a bit scary, but you're not hurt. Just get up and play with some toys." This usually doesn't work, and I rush through the rest of my shower.
When Gwen bathes, she has decided that she wants to stand up the entire time. She is standing in water, grabbing the slippery, wet side of the bathtub, and is covered in slippery soap, so you can imagine that this does not go well. When Keith gives her a bath, he just makes her sit back down. Her response? Screaming because apparently sitting is the end of the world. When I give her a bath, I usually get two birds with one stone by just taking a bath with her. She tries to stand, but I don't really mind because I am with her and she isn't going to fall and bang her head or drown. But recently she has decided that my leg makes a good step for trying to climb out of the tub, so I don't know how much longer this might last.
Bathing has not been the peaceful experience that it was before Gwen was born, but last night my mother-in-law was baby sitting because Keith had a happy hour for work. She showed up early enough that I was able to take a shower all by myself! I don't remember the last time when I didn't have little infant eyes glaring at me while I have been in the shower! I felt so spoiled - you would think that I had been given a day at the spa with how excited I was. I went all out with my pampering - I got to shave both the tops and the bottoms of my legs in the same shower (lately it has been and either or thing because doing both seems to take enough time to push Gwen over the edge). When I got out of the shower, I blow dried my hair and straightened it. Then I put on make-up! Some mommies out there might think, "What's the big deal? I do that every day." To them I say, "You try to deal with Gwen day in and day out while your hubby works 70 hours a week and see how often you end up showered and properly groomed." She won't even nap by herself for more than 30 minutes for me to sneak off, shower, and get ready! Those mommies out there who don't have the perfect baby, however, know exactly what it is like to sometimes have a smelly, non-showered day.
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